


The Island

by nendwriter



Category: Reylo - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Ahch-To, Angst, Cheese, Cliff Scene, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Soulmates, Freudian Elements, Healing, I Will Go Down With This Ship, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Kylo Ren Needs a Hug, Mutual Pining, Resolved Sexual Tension, Reylo - Freeform, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Touch-Starved, cliches incoming, reylo johnson I blame you, smut hut, trapped together, why did I start this fic when I still haven't finished my other one
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-24
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-02-06 04:07:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 18
Words: 44,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12809271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nendwriter/pseuds/nendwriter
Summary: Rey and Kylo Ren find themselves trapped on Ahch-To and must work together to survive. What could possibly go wrong? Or...right? [Takes place after the events of TFA.]





	1. Chapter 1

Kylo Ren jolted awake, finding his chest bare. He had been stripped down to his undershorts. White bandages were plastered all over his body. He felt blinded by the brilliant white lights above him, and he winced as he raised his arm to shield his eyes. 

“Arm down. It is in the healing process,” a garbled, monotone voice voice commanded. Kylo rolled his head to the side and saw the metallic, glinting charcoal of a medical droid. Kylo let out a sleepy breath and closed his eyes. The heaviness in his head told him that he had been medicated.

“How long have I been in the med ward?” he asked. He scrunched his face and hissed, feeling a stinging pain across the right side of his face. Then, with a pang to his chest, it all came back to him: the interrogation. The murder of Han Solo. The fight in the snow. The destruction of Starkiller. The slash to his face. The traitor. The girl.

The girl.

“You’ve been out for an entire day, Ren.” The voice was unfortunately all too familiar. “That’s an entire day I’ve been kept away from my duties and been in charge of making sure you don’t do anything else _stupid.”_

Kylo opened his eyes and lifted his head to shoot a glare at Hux, who he found standing across the room from him, arms folded. 

“The Supreme Leader apparently finds me the most capable of overseeing that,” Hux crowed. He raised his head and strided toward the bottom edge of Kylo’s cot. “He requested your presence when you awoke. So I shall see you in the Throne Hall shortly.” He gave a smug smile and turned on his boots. 

Kylo watched Hux as he exited the white room, shooting mental daggers into his back. As soon as Hux turned out of the room, an officer hesitantly entered, a thick bundle of fabric in hand. Kylo recognized him. 

“Y-your clothes, s-sir,” Mitaka said with a nod, his hands shaking as he set the bundle down onto a tray near Kylo’s cot. Kylo watched amusedly as Mitaka gave another subservient nod with eyes to the floor before hurrying towards the doorway. 

Wincing, Kylo slowly pushed himself up into a sitting position, his eyes setting on the stack of new clothes. He let out a sigh, dreading having to face the Supreme Leader after his miserable failure.

….

“I don’t understand,” Rey said, shaking her head. “You wanted to pass on your knowledge and training, to restart the Jedi. So what keeps you from training me?” 

Luke Skywalker looked down into the small fireplace, a grumbling breath escaping his mouth. “I’ve already told you. I tried, and I failed. I shouldn’t have even done it. Their ways are too outdated, too restrictive, a product of another time. It was my fault.” He shook his head slowly, his eyes distant as he looked back across at Rey. “It was all my fault.” 

“Can’t you just try again?” Rey asked, stepping towards him boldly. “I’m different, I’m not like–” She paused, judging Luke’s reaction to her words. His jaw tightened, and his eyes glinted with the suggestion of tears, but he did not speak. She continued. “I’m not like him. Kylo failed you. _I won’t.”_

Luke opened his mouth, sucking in a breath. Rey’s heart skipped a beat as she waited for his response, but he turned and wordlessly brushed past her. She scowled, mouth open as she flipped around to face him. He was walking toward the hut’s opening. 

“That’s it? You’re not even going to say anything?” Rey couldn’t believe that the Resistance was putting so much stock into this guy, couldn’t believe that _this_ man was the one who had been the subject of the myths she’d heard growing up, the one who’d ended Vader’s iron grip on the galaxy. 

Luke stopped before the entrance of the hut and looked back at her. “I only know one truth,” he said. “It’s time for the Jedi to end.”

….

“Even after eliminating your father, you still have a weakness, Kylo Ren,” Snoke intoned, his hologram leaning forward on its giant thorne. “Must I remind you that your grandfather perished from the same fatal flaw?” 

_Weakness. Flaw._ As much as he didn’t want them to, Snoke’s words still cut deep. Kylo tightened his fists. “I have no such _weakness,”_ Kylo retorted boldy. He was overwhelmed, on edge from being berated by Snoke about the events on Starkiller for the past twenty minutes, from having the relive everything. By the time the Supreme Leader had asked him about killing his father, it had taken all of his willpower to keep his voice steady, to keep his father’s expression as he fell back off of the metal walkway from his mind. All the while, Hux stood by, watching smugly. 

Kylo was miserable. 

Snoke sat back, his face lifting with an expression of condescending suspicion. “As if it was not made clear enough before, you feel pity towards this _scavenger,”_ Snoke hissed. “Compassion.”

Kylo’s arms tensed. “No, not compassion. But I told you, the girl has great strength in the Force. She could be useful to us,” he explained. The thought of training her flashed through his mind, and for a moment, he felt a bead of hope. 

But that moment was short-lived. Snoke waved his hand dismissively. “We have no need for an untrained and inexperienced Force user. We have you, and that is all we need.”

“But with the right training–”

Snoke’s holographic hand slammed down onto the throne chair. “Kylo Ren, do you question my judgement?” 

Kylo’s gaze drifted down to the base of Snoke’s throne. “No, Supreme Leader.”

“In any case, I have been made to question your resolve to our cause. I see that another test is needed,” Snoke declared, straightening in his throne. Kylo’s gaze darted sheepishly back up to the glowing, looming figure. “You will find the girl, and you will bring her to me. Then you will prove your dedication to the First Order, and to the Dark Side.”

Kylo’s heart leapt to his throat. “Supreme Leader–” He cut himself off, knowing he would only be digging himself into a deeper hole. Snoke was watching him expectantly, and Kylo gave a single nod, collecting himself. “Yes, Supreme Leader.” 

Snoke narrowed his eyes and pointed a long, glowing finger in his direction. “You will find her, or _I will,”_ he warned. His gaze drifted casually away. “I give you 30 standard days. And you, General Hux,” he said, pointing, “you will now be in charge of all operations and personnel aboard the _Finalizer,_ including Kylo Ren.” 

Kylo raised his brows and turned to meet Hux’s glowing expression.

“Yes, Supreme Leader. Thank you, Supreme Leader.” 

Kylo looked down at his boots, frowning as Snoke’s holograph fizzled away. He kept his gaze lowered to avoid Hux’s pompous expression as the General strode with renewed purpose from the Throne Hall. 

As the doors slid shut behind Hux, Kylo was left alone in the hall with his thoughts. He looked down at his gloved, fisted hands, realizing that they were shaking. Everything from the past forty-eight hours was weighing down upon him. 

Misery had turned to agony. 

He was still struggling to comprehend what he had done to Han Solo–his _father_ –and now this. Now, he would presumably have to watch Snoke do only Maker-knows-what to the girl. _Rey._ He felt her name on his tongue, though he had never spoken it aloud. The image of her lifting his lightsaber after she’d caught it, poised to strike, hung in his mind. His one shot at connecting, at having _something_ with someone a little bit like him–someone who could maybe _understand_ –was now shot. 

And it was all his fault.


	2. Chapter 2

Kylo tensed as he sensed Hux approaching from behind. He kept his attention forward, focusing through his helmet on the stars outside the wide viewport. Regardless of whatever drivel Hux had to say, he knew it was going to take all of his willpower to keep himself from Force-throwing the guy across the bridge room. 

“Ren, I didn’t see you in the intel meeting earlier,” he heard Hux sneer. “Are you really going to forego the Supreme Leader’s orders so soon?”

Kylo grit his teeth, biting back a sharp retort. Any offense against Hux now could easily land him in the brig. He was surprised Hux hadn’t already had him thrown in for missing the meeting. 

“I have my own plans. I don’t need your ‘intel,’” he responded flatly. 

“Hm. I’ll have you know I’ve assembled some of the best bounty hunters in the galaxy on my team,” Hux boasted. “Locating the scavenger should be easy from this point.” 

Kylo’s attempt to remain impassive was overruled by his knee-jerk reaction to Hux’s words. He turned over his shoulder to glare at Hux, grateful for his helmet. Bounty hunters. The best hunters in the galaxy would be the hardened ones, the ruthless ones. The ones that would be most likely to harm Rey in their attempt to capture her. 

He had to find her before Hux’s team did. But how?

“Is there a problem, Ren?” Hux asked, turning his face in a suspicious, sidelong glance. 

Kylo extended his arm and flung Hux off his feet, sending him straight into an electrical panel. At least, he did so in his mind. 

He tightened his fists, but took a moment to gather himself. “No,” he finally said. 

Hux’s eyes narrowed, but he let it pass. He took a step towards Kylo, folding his arms nonchalantly behind his back. “And how are you planning on finding the scavenger all on your own?” Hux let out a low chuckle. _“‘The Force?’”_ he derided. When Kylo didn’t respond, Hux chuckled again and strode away. 

Kylo faced the viewport again, vigor swelling within his chest. The Force. Of course. At times he almost felt as if he could sense her presence in the Force, since meeting her, but he couldn’t pin down where she was. Perhaps if he tried to reach out to her somehow, to get her to open her mind to him...He shook his head, knowing it was a long shot. But he had to try. 

….

Rey sat in front of the small fire in Luke’s hut, warming her hands. Luke’s words turned over in her mind. Clearly, Kylo Ren’s betrayal of Luke and his Jedi academy had turned Luke into a dispirited, broken man. But couldn’t he see that she was different from Kylo, that she wouldn’t betray him? She had been strong enough to survive on her own as a scavenger on Jakku, surely keeping herself from falling to the Dark Side wouldn’t be a issue. 

Rey felt a gradual shift in the air around her, and she scrunched her brows. It felt as if the air were funneling towards her, towards her mind. Instinctively, she blocked it. 

The Force, she realized, getting to her feet. Perhaps it was trying to tell her something, as it had done when she’d grasped the Skywalkers’ saber on Takodana. She felt the push again, and she relaxed, letting it in. 

_Rey._

Rey sucked in a breath as she sensed the voice’s presence in her mind. There was a familiarity to it. It took a moment for her to place it, and when she did, her mouth dropped open. 

_Kylo Ren,_ she responded, mouthing the words as she thought them. She scowled, her gaze not settling on anything in particular as she focused on his presence through the Force. It was definitely him. His presence was unmistakable–it was acute. _How are you in my head?_ she demanded. Was he on the island? He couldn’t be…

_That’s unimportant. I need you to listen to me._

_That’s rich!_ she scoffed. She pressed her hands to her temples. _Get out of my head!_ She grit her teeth, focusing on his presence in her mind and forcing it out. 

_Don’t, Rey, listen to me–_

As she ejected him from her mind, Rey reformed her mental walls, shielding her mind from him. When she couldn’t hear him any longer, she released her hands from her head, breathing deeply. What had just happened? How had he managed to break into her mind, when he presumably wasn’t anywhere near her? 

Suddenly, the heat wafting from the fire in the tiny hut was stifling. She needed some air. 

Rey trekked outside the hut into the island’s cool breeze, moving past the chirping groups of porgs that nested near the hut encampment. She pressed a hand to her forehead, worried that Kylo would try to break into her mind again. No, she wasn’t worried. She was certain. 

“Do you want some dried fish?” she heard Luke’s voice call from behind her. 

She turned to see him standing near a cliff edge, a sack dangling from his metal hand. Luke stepped towards her, and she met him halfway. Silently, he handed her a few pieces of the food. Rey avoided meeting his eyes as she began to eat. 

“You must be hungry,” Luke said, watching her. “You haven’t eaten much since you’ve been here.”

“A life of struggling for food tends to shrinks your appetite,” she stated. She sensed Luke watching her as she ate, and she turned to the side to face the ocean on the horizon. 

“You look stressed,” he commented, and Rey remained silent. She couldn’t tell him about what had just happened–that would make him suspicious of her. Surely he’d question her loyalties if he found out she was communicating through the Force with his betraying nephew. 

She heard Luke sigh. “Look, I know I’ve been harsh. But what I’ve said, what I believe–it isn’t going to change.”

Rey turned her face to look at him. She was surprised to see something like sympathy marking his features. 

Luke sighed again. “How about this. I’ll make a deal with you.”

Rey focused on his aged blue eyes, narrowing her own. “I’m listening.” 

“I’ll give you some basic training in the Force for a few days– _very_ basic–if you agree to leave the island afterward.”

Rey stared at him for a few moments, considering. Leia and the others wouldn’t be happy to find that she’d returned without Luke, but at least they’d know where he was hiding. Even Chewie and R2 hadn’t been able to convince Luke to return, so how could she? The situation would be left in Leia’s hands. 

Finally, she nodded. “Okay. Deal.” She swiped the salt from her mouth with her free arm and held it out to him. Luke’s mouth tightened into a line and he gripped her hand with his metal one.

“Deal.”

….

Kylo let out a heavy sigh as he lowered onto his bed aboard the _Finalizer,_ sore from today’s combat training. All day he couldn’t stop thinking about his connection through the Force with Rey earlier, how he’d sensed her voice and presence in his mind. His preoccupation had caused him to be struck by a stormtrooper several times during the training session, and he had bruises to show for it. He was shocked that he’d actually managed to reach her mind through the Force, through the cosmos, however far away she was. But would he be able to get her to open her mind her him again? 

Probably not. Most likely, that was a one-time thing. Kylo felt a drop in his chest at this realization. He focused his gaze on the time hologram projected on the stand near the bed. It was late, and he needed to rest up if he was going to perform any better during his training tomorrow morning. Then again…

He closed his eyes and crossed his legs, resting his hands in his lap as he reached out through the Force. He felt the tendrils of his Force signature extending out, funneling towards some unknown place in the galaxy. He felt a flush of heat as the tendrils stopped: they’d hit a familiar wall.

He focused his energy as he attempted to push through Rey’s mental fortification, and he tensed his face as he felt her push back. She was keeping him out, but at least she was reacting. Then–

 _Stay out of my head!_ she asserted. Her antagonism was palpable. 

Kylo managed to respond through their connection before she closed her thoughts to him again. _Listen to me, Rey!_ he insisted. _That’s all I want from you._

 _You’re not getting anything from me,_ she snapped. Kylo could nearly picture her angered expression as he sensed her response in his mind. He needed to break through to her, somehow. Otherwise, any hope of keeping her from Hux’s bounty hunters was lost. 

_You’re in danger, Rey, just hear me out,_ he continued, and was surprised to find that she kept her mind open, if only for a few more moments. _Please._

Her thoughts were blocked from his awareness once more, but he noticed her slight hesitation to force him from her mind. Perhaps all this was going to take on his part was patience and persistence.


	3. Chapter 3

Rey stared up at the ceiling of the hut as she lay in the small bed in one of Luke’s huts. Kylo was attempting to get into her mind, just as he had been trying for the past three days, at regular intervals. Like clockwork. 

Rey groaned, gripping her fur-stuffed pillow and burying her face into it as she felt him pressing at her mind again. “I just want to _sleep,”_ she groaned. She huffed out a breath, of half a mind to yell at him through the Force. 

She tried to focus instead on the events of the past few days: Luke attempting to train her in the Force and in lightsaber combat, the training starting off well, then quickly devolving into a confusing, miserable mess. She’d given her all as he trained her. Instead of showing pride at the strength she demonstrated and the speed at which she learned, however, Luke had grown increasingly wary, to the point of acting as though he were afraid of her. Initially, she hadn’t understood why. 

Today, Luke had tried teaching her to meditate, apparently wanting to avoid lightsaber combat and other Force training altogether. She’d sat on a rock as he watched her, facing out toward the ocean horizon. She’d tried to her best to focus on the Force, but Kylo’s prodding at her mind was insistent, and she centered her concentration instead on fighting him. As she focused on forcing Kylo away, Rey’s attention was drawn to the distinct tether in the Force between them, and for a few moments, she had felt...calmed. Serene. She didn’t hear Luke as he began pleading with her to resist whatever she was feeling. 

Kylo had attempted to push his way into her mind again, and Rey then felt a flood of anger. She forcibly pushed away his end of the connection, and somehow, in her sudden fury, this had led to her cracking the rock beneath her with the Force. 

Rey had left Luke to draw his own conclusions. After that, Luke had made it clear to her that he was done training her, and that she’d have to leave the island tomorrow. Rey felt a heaviness within her chest as she recalled the fear and disappointment on his face. 

She’d failed him. 

Rey hadn’t responded to Kylo since their brief conversation several days ago, when he’d tried to get her to believe that she was in some sort of danger. Yeah, right, she thought. It was more than obvious he was just trying to trick her. Who knew what he had up his sleeve. He couldn’t be trusted, even if he had used the word “please.” 

But, that had struck something within her. The way he’d thought it, Kylo had almost made the word sound sincere. Almost. But she wasn’t going to fall for that gimmick. She hadn’t survived as long as she had on Jakku because she’d fallen for other people’s tricks. And she certainly wasn’t about to do that now. 

Part of her, though, was curious to hear what he had to say. A _tiny_ part. What contrived story would he make up? That she had to join the Dark Side or something bad would happen? That Luke was plotting to kill her? Whatever it was, she knew he was just trying to scare her. 

Rey smiled to herself amusedly, but her smile faded as she recalled when Kylo had kidnapped her from Takodana and interrogated her. His words from the interrogation on Starkiller Base floated through her mind: _I’d prefer to be honest with you from the beginning._ That was before he’d admitted that he didn’t know where her friends were. He didn’t have to do that, obviously; he could have lied and told her that they’d been killed, to remove any ounce of hope she’d been clinging onto. If he had lied about her friends, maybe he’d actually have ended up getting the map from her. So why hadn’t he?

But that was irrelevant. He was still a liar, he _had_ to be. He was a traitor, a murderer, and a liar. There was no way he was trying to help her, and she wanted absolutely nothing to do with him. 

Rey was disgruntled as her thoughts shifted to when Kylo had removed his helmet for her. He hadn’t been at all what she’d expected. Looks-wise, at least. 

The image of his face burned into her mind, sending a flood of heat down to her belly. She saw his face again, bathed in blue, red, and purple, when their sabers had been locked together in the snow. When he’d offered to show her the ways of the Force. His eyes had been locked on hers in a way no one else’s had ever been. 

He was in her mind often, and Rey couldn’t understand why. She couldn’t understand the heat she felt within her when she pictured him in her mind’s eye. She hated it. She hated him. Her fixation must be due to her strong hatred for him. That was it. 

Rey sat up, trying to force these disconcerting thoughts away. She pressed a palm to her chest, feeling her heart beating rapidly. Maybe if she talked to Kylo again through the Force, she’d hear his lies, call him out on them, and be done with it all. Maybe then he’d stop bothering her. Maybe then she’d stop thinking about him. 

She focused her thoughts, feeling the Force push out and away from her like an endless arm reaching out. She took in a deep, shaky breath as she sensed Kylo, and slowly, she lowered her defenses. 

_Rey,_ Kylo said, sounding surprised. 

_Spit it out,_ she ordered.

He responded immediately. _The First Order is looking for you,_ he said. 

Rey scrunched her face. _You’re part of the First Order._

A brief pause. _Yes,_ he answered. _But–If they find you, they’re going to capture you. They’ll–_ He paused again, and Rey waited earnestly. _You have to stay hidden from them._

Rey frowned at the wall ahead. _Why do you care?_ she spat. Kylo didn’t answer, and she felt her heartbeat grow faster. _You’re lying to me. I know you are._

_No, I’m not,_ he insisted. 

_Why should I listen to you?_ Rey felt a rush of anger, and she slid from the bed to begin pacing the short length of the hut. She saw again the fear and pain in Luke’s eyes, when he’d grown distrustful of her natural strength. Of her. If only she could prove to him that she was devoted to the Light Side. 

_If the First Order is after me, let them try,_ Rey said boldly. 

_You don’t know what they’re capable of. You don’t stand a chance against them alone,_ he countered. _Tell me where you are, and I’ll take you to the reaches of the galaxy where they will not look for you._

Rey stopped in her tracks. _Tell_ you? _Tell you where I am?_ She nearly laughed aloud. _Do you really think I’m that dense?_

_Rey, I can help you,_ Kylo answered. _Let me._

Rey’s brows knitted together in agitated confusion. He couldn’t actually want to help her. No way. She wanted to call him out on his lies, but for some reason, her thoughts had slid to a halt. 

_Then I guess you’re on your own,_ Kylo said, and Rey felt his connection slip away from her mind. Wide-eyed, she tried to make sense of what had just happened. She sat down heavily on the bed, thinking about his motives for trying to trick her. Was he really just trying to intimidate her? Did he want her to trust him, so she would think he had broken from the First Order?

That had to be it. He really did think her a dolt, didn’t he? Well, perhaps she could use that to her advantage. If she told Kylo where she was, when he came, she could prove to Luke her loyalties. She laid down on her side, hugging the pillow as she debated with herself. 

Finally, she reached her decision. She would enact the revenge upon Kylo that Luke could not. When he came, she’d be ready.

Rey focused her mind back through the Force, to Kylo. When she reached him, he opened his mind to her. 

_Rey–_

_Ahch-To,_ she thought, releasing the breath she’d been holding. _I’m on Ahch-To. Come and get me._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey doesn't understand her reactions when thinking about the dangerous dreamboat Kylo Ren. She'll have to confront these feelings soon enough. But for now, she's ready to pick right back up where they left off on Starkiller. Is Kylo?


	4. Chapter 4

Shades of brilliant blue shot past the viewport of Kylo’s command shuttle as he stood at the helm. 

“Are we nearing our approach?” he heard the officer behind him ask. 

Kylo didn’t bother to turn around, just nodded. “Yes,” he stated. He hadn’t given them any information about their destination. 

“Sir...our comms are still down,” the officer added. “We still can’t contact the _Finalizer.”_

_Good, they haven’t been able to fix the ship,_ Kylo noted to himself. “You’ll be in charge of repairing the unit once we reach our destination, Officer,” he said.

During the night, he’d pushed the officers monitoring the hangar on the _Finalizer_ into a brief Force-induced sleep so he could climb aboard the command shuttle to break the communication systems. He’d also picked off his belt’s tracking device and smashed it beneath his boot. He couldn’t have anyone tracking their ship’s whereabouts and find out the girl’s location. 

However, thanks to Hux, Kylo was required to travel with a team of stormtroopers and two officers, all of whom were supposed to aid him in searching for and capturing Rey. Kylo knew better; it was clear that their main charge was to monitor him. He didn’t need to read their minds to figure that one out. They were nothing short of babysitters. Of course, he would have to eliminate them once they reached Ahch-To. He would make quick work of them. 

….

Rey stood sheepishly before Luke, meeting his suspicious gaze. He was sitting at a table and appeared to have been in the middle of reading an old Jedi journal. 

“Are you on your way out of here?” Luke asked. 

“Luke, I–I need to tell you something,” Rey said, dodging his question. She fiddled with the bottom hem of her vest, suddenly feeling very stupid. How could she have been so foolish, so impulsive to have actually _told_ Kylo where to find her? She felt her face redden as she thought of her conversation with Kylo last night. 

Studying her expression, Luke closed the journal and rose slowly from his seat. “What is it?” he asked, his voice weighted with foreboding. 

“Kylo’s coming. _Here,”_ Rey blurted. She swallowed as she watched Luke’s eyes narrow, then widen. 

“My nephew...How do you know this?” he asked, his voice raising in pitch.

Rey shook her head. “I just do. You have to believe me. He’s on his way, right now.” She felt a strike of fear as she said the words.

Luke’s eyes scanned the room wildly. Slowly, he straightened his posture, seeming to reach some sort of decision. “If what you say is true,” he said, “then we must leave.” 

Rey frowned. “What?” she asked. “You aren’t even going to confront him?” She knew that Luke didn’t want to physically fight his nephew–she’d seen his reluctance in his mind–but for him to run away from the problem altogether wasn’t something she’d considered. Then again, that was what he’d done for the past six to seven years, so why was she surprised?

Luke seemed to ignore her question as he hurriedly began gathering up the ancient Jedi journals. “If he comes, he’ll destroy these,” Luke stated. “I must get them somewhere safe.”

Rey watched blankly as Luke folded his robe to create a pouch for the thick, dusty books. Luke was acting as if the books were family members to be saved from a house fire. Other than the porgs, the books had likely been his only company during the past years, so maybe that’s what they’d come to mean to him. 

Rey placed her hand on Luke’s arm, and he paused to shoot her an anxious look. “Luke, if we don’t fight Kylo now, you’ll never be free of this. I’ll help you put an end to this,” she said, then hesitated. “To _him.”_

“My nephew may be on the wrong path, but I’m not about to _end_ him,” Luke hissed, pulling his arm away rashly. “And his name isn’t Kylo. It’s _Ben,”_ he added as he sped out of the hut. 

Rey recalled coming across Kylo’s real name when she’d first managed to break into his mind during her interrogation, and later when Han had called out his son’s name. Shaking her head to clear these thoughts, she followed Luke outside the hut, her frustration building. “Where are you going?” 

“To the Falcon,” Luke called over his shoulder. He stopped in his tracks, his gaze traveling over the rocky peaks around them. “It’s time for me to finally leave this place,” he said, a distant look in his eyes. 

“Where will you go?” Rey questioned.

“I’ll let Chewie and R2 decide,” he answered, looking back at her. He turned and continued on, but Rey did not. Something inexplicable was tethering her here, telling her to stay behind. 

Luke looked back over his shoulder when he realized she was not following behind. “You aren’t coming?” he asked. Rey shook her head, and Luke pursed his mouth. “It isn’t safe for you to stay here.” 

“I know,” she admitted. “But I can’t let myself run away from my problems. I need to finish this, somehow,” she stated, not meaning this as a jab to Luke. To her surprise, he didn’t fight her on this; instead, Luke merely gave her a solemn nod. 

“Well, if you change your mind, there’s an old X-wing right around that cliff,” he said, nodding to their side. “I hope you know how to fly one.” 

“I’ll use the Force,” Rey said, giving him a small smile. Luke stared at her a moment, then gave a sympathetic nod before turning and continuing on his way. Soon, Rey was left alone amongst the ancient, crumbling huts. 

It didn’t seem like long before she heard the whirr of the Falcon as it began to ascend from its rocky outcropping far below. Rey shielded her eyes against the half-concealed sun as the Falcon soared overhead. 

Rey turned her attention away from the Falcon as she sensed something– _him._ She felt her heart rise to her throat. He was already here. 

Rey saw the small black dot of Kylo’s command shuttle high above before she heard its deep, garbled growl. Her heart beat erratically in her chest as she watch the shuttle grow larger, not far from where the Falcon was rising. Kylo was going to down the Falcon before Luke and the others even got a chance to leave the planet, she realized. She couldn’t let that happen. She made a sprint for the X-wing.

….

“Sir, it is my duty as Chief Offship Officer to _command_ this shuttle–”

Kylo Force-threw the officer into the opposite wall of the control room, not wasting any time on nonsense. He sensed the two stormtroopers behind him preparing to raise their blasters on him, and he swivelled around to deal them the same swift fate. 

Kylo flipped back around as a beeping signal sounded. A small red dot appeared before him on the tracking screen, and he looked up through the ship’s viewport to see a beat-up looking X-wing rising up from the island from behind the Falcon. To his complete surprise, he sensed his uncle and Chewie. 

And he sensed her. _Rey._

Suddenly, a stream of blasts shot out from his shuttle, aimed directly at the Falcon. 

“No!” Kylo shouted, spinning around on his boots and charging down the length of the ship. One of the troopers must have taken it upon himself to control the ship’s defensive weapons. He needed to make it down to the ship’s lower level and stop the trooper before any major damage could be done. 

….

Rey’s eyes widened as she watched Kylo’s ship firing down at the Falcon. The Falcon swerved, but it was scraped along the far edge by one of the shuttle’s blasts. Rey hissed through her teeth and shot her X-wing forward, her eyes scanning the buttons and switches before her in an attempt to locate the blaster controls. Her thumb slid over a bump on the ship’s stick control, and she sucked in a breath as she realized that this must be how she fired. 

Glaring up at the shuttle as it released another string of blasts upon the Falcon, hot fury welled within Rey’s chest. She mashed the button down on the stick and gasped as the X-wing fired a few quick blasts up at the command shuttle. To her amazement, the shuttle didn’t swerve to miss the blasts; instead, it took them head-on, and the ship shuddered and jolted as they made contact. 

The shuttle continued to fire in the direction of the Falcon, which was almost on its same level in the sky. Rey grit her teeth and fired again, over and over, focusing on aiming at the base of the shuttle’s left wing. A puff of fire and smoke exploded out from the site of the blasts, and the shuttle tilted to the side. The Falcon flew past the shuttle, continuing on its way through the planet’s atmosphere. 

The command shuttle, however, was going down, Rey realized with incredulity. Kylo hadn’t even attempted to stop her. 

The thought crossed her mind too soon. As Kylo’s shuttle began to descend at an angle, its blasts were redirected at her X-wing. Rey tried to veer away from the large blasts, but she wasn’t fast enough. She was thrown against the side of the cockpit as shuttle’s blasts made contact with one of her ship’s engines. Her eyes grew large as dark smoke immediately spread across the outside of her viewport. 

Rey could barely see outside the X-wing as it began to soar downwards, back towards the island. One of the X-wing’s engines was working, but like Kylo’s shuttle, her X-wing was lopsided as it came veering down from the sky. 

_Rey!_

Rey gripped her X-wing’s control stick, pulling it towards her with all of her strength to keep the shuddering ship from making a nosedive into the island. She shut her eyes and braced her arms across her face as her X-wing finally made its rocky landing, and the ship shuddered with violent ferocity as it slid across the rocks and grass. 

….

Slowly, Kylo pulled himself up against his shuttle’s sparking control board. His left arm hurt, and he had a massive headache. His sight was a little blurry, and he felt a bit nauseous.

He managed to stand upright as he recalled Rey’s X-wing igniting in flames in the sky. The remaining trooper had managed to fire a final string of blasts just before Kylo had swooped down upon him. 

Focusing his mind, Kylo reached out with the Force. He released a quick, pained breath as he sensed the girl alive. She wasn’t far from him. No, in fact, she was very near. 

_“Why do you care?”_

Her words from the night before had been stuck in his mind since she’d thought them. Why _did_ he care? Why had be bothered to offer helping this girl at all, this _scavenger_ from the loathsome Jakku? She’d just tried to kill him, and it hadn’t been her first attempt. It likely wouldn’t be her last. 

Kylo was well aware that he was drawn to this girl, yes, but in what way exactly he couldn’t quite place. The Supreme Leader had called him out on this– _twice,_ now–and Hux mocked him for it. He barely knew this girl, and yet he felt he knew her better than anyone in his life right now. Did he just pity her?

Kylo rubbed his hurting left arm as he ducked through a sparking, flame-framed opening in the shuttle’s side. As he stepped out onto the green grass, he found himself amongst clouds of smoke and dust, and piles of rocky rubble. As his gaze regained its focus, he observed the crumpled command shuttle, broken beyond repair. Sighing with acceptance, Kylo closed his eyes and inhaled the crisp ocean air.

_“Kylo Ren.”_

Kylo’s eyes darted to the side to where Rey stood facing him, her– _his_ –blue lightsaber extended outwards in a threatening display. He was unprepared for the dizzying blow to his chest that he felt at merely seeing her in person again. 

No, he didn’t just pity her, he decided. It was something much more than that. Something much deeper.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ;) ;) ;)


	5. Chapter 5

“I _knew_ you were trying to deceive me. You just came for a fight,” Rey declared, raising her saber. “And that’s what I intend to give you.”

Kylo shook his head, still dazed from the crash. His head was spinning. “That’s not what I came here for,” he dissented. 

Rey scowled at him as if he were the most disgusting creature she’d ever laid eyes on. Kylo frowned; it stung. “You just tried to kill Luke, Chewie, _and_ me, so don’t give me any more of your lies,” Rey spat. “You injured Finn. You killed your own _father._ You’re nothing but a monster and a murderer.”

Kylo bit his lower lip in a flash of hurt and anger. He lowered his right hand to his saber’s hilt. How dare the girl act as though she knew him? As if she knew the level of self-hatred that already filled his entire being? She had no idea how much he wished he could go back to that bridge on Starkiller Base and tell his father that he would return home with him. 

But that was all over now. The past couldn’t be repeated. No one got a redo in life, no matter how big their mistake. 

Rey wavered on her feet, then she was running at him, a fierce sound escaping her mouth as she pointed her saber at him. Kylo pulled his saber from the clip at his belt and ignited it just in time to block her blow. 

Rey pulled back and swung her saber at him again, hard. Kylo parried her blow and each one after that. He moved towards her, forcing her backwards now as he unleashed a series of his own strikes. He blocked her saber back, away from him. He struck angrily, forcefully, and Rey grunted as she struggled to match his ability. 

Even so, just as before, her raw strength surprised him. Her footwork was quite good. Her strikes were predictable, though, and he matched each swing of her saber with ease. Even in his dizzied state, he could go at this all day. 

The girl, on the other hand, appeared to be growing tired. She groaned with effort as she swung at him, their lightsabers hissing loudly each time they made contact. Kylo found himself studying her angered face, the purplish reflection in her eyes as their sabers made contact, the red trail of blood running down her cheek from her hairline. 

After what felt like an hour, Rey was panting heavily, and her movements grew desperate. She grit her teeth and dealt a low, sweeping blow, aiming for Kylo’s legs, but he blocked her swing and forced her lightsaber away. Rey stumbled backwards, tripping over a rock and coming down hard onto one knee. She remained in place, attempting to catch her breath. 

Kylo stalked towards her, then stopped just a few feet from where she sat. She looked up at him, a mixture of fear and hatred swelling in her wide hazel eyes. He lowered his brows as he stared down at her. The girl was not demonstrating the wild determination she’d shown during their fight on Starkiller; no, this time, there was an almost hopeless and despondent quality to her fighting. Something in her had changed since they last met. 

Kylo lifted his saber slightly, holding her gaze and making it known to her that he could strike her down right now if he wanted to. Rey’s eyes narrowed and shifted to his sparking red saber as he lowered it. 

“Get up,” he commanded.

Rey’s brows knit together in confusion, then in anger. Her chest rose and fell in quick huffs of breath. 

“I know you have more fight than that in you. Get up,” he repeated sharply. 

Rey hesitated, then sucked in a breath, rising to her feet. She hissed through her teeth as she charged at him again, swinging with renewed effort and strength. _There she is,_ Kylo thought, a feverish wave filling him. He watched Rey intently as her saber clashed against his, her loose, sweat-drenched strands of her hair sticking across her forehead. Her eyes flashed with intense concentration. 

She was radiant. 

Kylo grunted in pain as the girl managed to knick his already-injured left arm with her saber. He shook the arm out, trying to dull the pain, and he ducked under another of her strikes. As he straightened, his eyes widened at the blue flash of her saber cutting across his hip. He hunched over and backed away, pressing a gloved hand to the wound. He felt a flash of deja vu as Rey ran towards him, her saber thrown back over her head, ready to strike straight down upon him. Burying all self-preservation instincts, he disengaged his saber and flopped backwards onto the grass, propped up by his gloved palms.

Let her come, he thought to himself. Let her decide my fate. 

Rey grunted angrily and leapt forward, bringing the blue saber down. Kylo shut his eyes and tightened his grip on his saber hilt, waiting for the painful tide of death to overcome him. But it never did. 

Instead, he merely felt intense heat at the left side of his neck. He opened his eyes to see Rey’s blue lightsaber hovering not an inch from the collar of his tunic. Slowly, his eyes rose in awe to hers. She was panting, her expression one of exasperation and conflict. Kylo frowned at her. 

“Do it,” he told her. He couldn’t understand why she was hesitating to kill him a second time. Hesitantly, he reached through the Force, but she grit her teeth and blocked him out. “I deserve this,” he said more gently, wondering if she was searching for moral approval. “You know this.”

Rey tightened her grip on the saber, and for a moment, Kylo thought she was actually going to go through with it. Instead, however, her face fell, and she lowered the saber from his neck. He watched as her nostrils flared and her lower lip rose, trembling. 

Rey backed away, slowly, tearing her gaze from him and dropping onto the grass across from where he sat. Kylo watched as she hugged a knee into her chest and began to sob, her chest heaving with each shaking exhale. He was in shock by her reluctance to kill him. What was holding her back? Why was she reacting like this? He didn’t have the slightest idea what to do, and so for a few minutes he sat there dumbly, watching her. 

Finally, he couldn’t take it anymore. His chest ached strangely at hearing her cry. 

“I didn’t come here to fight you,” he said, finally breaking the silence between them. 

Rey looked across at him, eyes reddened and teary. “I chose not to kill you, and you’re _still_ lying to me,” she hissed. 

Kylo frowned. “I’m not lying. It wasn’t me who shot at the Falcon, it was one of my troopers.” Rey continued to look at him angrily. “You don’t have to believe me, fine,” he said resignedly, leaning back onto his elbows. “But my memories contain the truth.”

Rey closed her mouth, seeming to consider this. Concentration marked her features. Kylo held her gaze as he allowed her into his mind. He felt her sorting through his recent memories. He took care to block the thoughts he needed to from her probing. 

Rey’s brows lifted as she came across the events in the command shuttle. “It...it’s true,” she said quietly, shaking her head in apparent amazement. He perceived the wheels turning in her mind as she tried to make sense of him. She sniffled before speaking again. “But...were you actually coming here to _help_ me?” 

She was suspicious of him, naturally. That was fine by him. Anything was better than the looks of abject hatred she’d been giving him since he’d crawled out of the crashed shuttle. Even though he deserved no better than hatred.

Kylo clipped his saber hilt back to his belt and pushed himself up from the ground, releasing a low hiss at the pain in his hip. “You can decide that for yourself,” he said, giving her a neutral look. Rey stared at him a moment before getting up from the grass herself, silver saber hilt in hand. She sniffled and swiped the tears from her eyes with her covered forearm, smearing blood from the crash across her cheeks. A sudden, fearful thought crossed Kylo’s mind. 

“What kind of shape is your X-wing in?” he asked. 

Rey huffed out a frustrated breath. “It’s ruined.” She leaned sideways to peer around him at the flaming heap of the command shuttle in the distance. “And... _your_ ship?”

Kylo set his jaw, his fears confirmed. “It’s beyond repair.”

For a long moment, they stared at each other, neither speaking as their minds opened and their thoughts met in the middle to confirm that they were, in fact, deserted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Deserted, you say? My, oh my, how are they possibly going to spend all of the free time they will presumably have alone together? Tsk, tsk...Only time will tell.


	6. Chapter 6

“No, no, no,” Rey protested, shaking her head. “We can’t be stuck here.” 

Kylo held her worried gaze. “Luke…” he began. “He was here.”

“I don’t think he even saw what happened…” Rey trailed. “The Falcon was already heading into the atmosphere before I was hit…” She stopped herself and looked down at the grass. “And I told him I was staying…”

Kylo narrowed his eyes, studying her profile. “Staying here? Why”

Rey raised her face to meet his eyes once again. She opened her mouth, then closed it, as if stopping herself from speaking. He discerned her meaning.

“So you could kill me,” he stated, nodding to himself. “I see.”

Rey frowned, her chest rising and falling in a sigh. Her gaze shifted from his to the site of the crashed shuttle behind him, and she began moving towards it, walking right past him as if he weren’t even there. As if he were just another rock on this forsaken island. Kylo scowled, his gaze following her as she walked past him. 

But, he realized, maybe this was a good thing–maybe she’d correctly assessed that he wasn’t a threat. He spun around and began following her, keeping his distance. 

They trekked up the slight hill to the smoking shuttle. As Rey stood before the crash site, Kylo stopped a ways behind her on the slope of the hill, studying her. She was stiff, frozen in place. 

“You destroyed...everything,” Rey said, looking slowly back at him. 

Kylo lowered his brows, looking past her to the heaps of rocky rubble his ship had laid waste to in the wake of its violent landing. He took a step forward, realizing that the ruined structures weren’t just rocks–they were composed of bricks. 

Rey turned, facing him fully. “This was an ancient, historical place, and you ruined it,” she accused, her voice rising. 

_Great,_ Kylo thought dryly to himself. “It couldn’t have been that important if it was hidden all the way out on _this_ planet,” he said. 

Rey glowered, swivelling back towards the shuttle. She leaned to her side, trying to see around the fiery heap. “It looks like there’s one left,” he heard her say amidst the crackle of the flames. 

“One what?” Kylo asked, taking a step closer. 

Rey turned. “One hut.” 

Kylo perked an eyebrow. “What kind of hut?” he asked. “Why were these so important?” He gestured vaguely to the smoking piles of bricks. 

Rey lifted her chin. “They wouldn’t be important to _you,”_ she said. She stepped closer to the shuttle. “I guess I’ll have to see if there’s anything useful left in your ship once the fires go out.”

Kylo took a few steps toward her, stopping at the crest of the hill. “Shouldn’t that be my job? It’s _my_ shuttle,” he stated. 

“But you didn’t spend your years learning how to scavenge for useful parts in ships, did you?” she quipped, raising a condescending eyebrow. He stared at her blankly, amazed at how she was attempting to use her former career as a desert _scavenger_ as leverage against him. 

“Or for useful parts in yourself, apparently,” he heard her mutter. A wave of heat flashed against Kylo’s cheeks, and he looked away, pretending not to have heard her. 

Kylo raised his face as Rey picked her way around the wreckage. He began following her, but she spun around and shot him a glare that stopped him in his tracks immediately. He eyed her cautiously. 

“Where do you think you’re going?” Rey’s brows pressed down upon her lids. “Did you really think we were going to _share_ the hut?”

Kylo frowned and shrugged. “Where else should I go?” 

Rey tightened her face. “Anywhere else but here,” she snapped. Rey turned around the fiery wreck and was lost from his view behind black pillars of smoke. Kylo stared into the rising charcoal clouds for a few moments, the girl’s revived hostility a sting in his chest as he turned and trudged back down the hill, alone. 

Kylo scanned the horizon in all directions, trying to form a rudimentary mental map of the island. He walked straight across a grassy plain until he reached the edge of a cliff. He stood at its edge, looking down into the angry white-washed waves crashing below. 

He could just jump, he thought. End it all right here. Right now. It’s what he should do. The waves below roared, slamming into the cliff face below as if voicing their dissent. Then again, Kylo thought, being trapped with the girl was all too interesting a predicament. 

Kylo turned and walked along the cliff edge. Eyeing the rocky crags and looming green hillsides surrounding him, he decided to explore some of the island’s interior. 

This was how he spent the rest of the day–roaming aimlessly across the craggy green landscape. At one point he heard chirping sounds and, intrigued, he followed them to their origin: a group of nesting bird-like creatures. Kylo walked right through the lot of them and they’d barely even reacted. They likely didn’t have any natural predators on the island. Fortunately, that would make it much easier for him to catch them when he grew hungry. 

But, first, he needed to start a fire if he was to do any cooking. He also needed to get warm–and soon. The sun was lowering on the horizon, across the ocean beyond, and the air grew significantly colder as the day gave way to night. Small bushes littered the island, but no trees, nothing substantial, nothing to use to create a fire. Kylo crouched down to one of the bushes and attempted to light its tiny leaves afire with his lightsaber, but the leaves merely crumbled into dust in his gloved palm. 

The sky was deep orange-red as Kylo looked back across the island to the smoke from the command shuttle. He narrowed his eyes as he caught sight of a new trail of dark smoke reaching up into the sky near the site of the shuttle. Judging by the size and color of the shuttle’s smoke, its fire had probably gone out hours ago. This other line of smoke was new. 

Gripping the sides of his sleeves to keep warm, Kylo trekked back across the island, keeping his gaze affixed to the smoke from the girl’s fire. 

….

Rey tilted her head left and right, stretching her neck and shoulders. The fight with Kylo Ren earlier had left her sore all over. 

She sat down on the edge of the hut’s small bed and began undoing her hair buns. She had just released the bottom knot when she sensed Kylo’s presence nearby. His presence in the Force grew steadily stronger, and she rose from the bed, running her fingers anxiously through her freed strands of hair. 

He was just outside. She could feel him there. What could he possibly be planning to do? Fight her again? Or...could it be he was going to call for some sort of truce?

She shook her head. No. That was a foolish notion. But why, then, did her heart thud at the thought of it? 

Letting out a frustrated breath, Rey pushed against the hut’s wooden door and swung it open. Kylo stumbled back a few steps, apparently surprised. 

“What do you want?” Rey snapped, pressing a hand impatiently against the open door. She shivered once, the cold evening air chilling her immediately. She scrunched her nose, feeling a tickling sensation. She glanced up at the dark clouds above, realizing it was a rain drop. 

As she lowered her eyes back to Kylo’s, she felt rooted where she stood by his gaze. He wasn’t saying anything; he was just _looking_ at her, all over. A flush ran through her body, making her feel hot and cold all at once. Again, she was struck by his immense height, his broad build, the dark hair that framed his face. 

Realizing she’d been staring back, Rey suddenly felt very awkward. She brushed her hair behind her shoulders sheepishly and swallowed in a breath. 

“I said, what do you want?” she repeated, attempting to regain her air of annoyance. 

Kylo cleared his throat. “Fire,” he said. “I need fire.”

She scowled and folded her arms across her chest. “Make it yourself, like I did.” 

“You didn’t just get it from the flames of my ship?” he asked, folding his arms in turn. 

Rey’s frown morphed into a you-couldn’t-possibly-be-any-stupider glare. “And poison myself with the fumes from the ship’s leaked chemical fluids? No! Of course not!” she exclaimed. Didn’t he know anything about the mechanics of crashed ships?

“How should I know?” he said. “I’ve never been stranded on a faraway island with just a burning ship and a _scavenger.”_ Kylo’s arms appeared to tighten around himself. 

“Go ahead, mock me, we’ll see who ends up surviving this place,” Rey countered, locking onto his dark gaze. She barely heard the thunder rumbling in the distance. 

Ren gave her a solemn nod. “We will.” 

A light pattering of rain began to fall, and Kylo looked up at the stormclouds. Rey narrowed her eyes as his body shook once. He was...cold, she realized. Shivering. 

She’d been huddled up, enjoying the warmth of the hut’s fireplace, while he’d been doing who-knows-what all day outside in the chilly ocean air. 

Kylo huffed out a breath. “Nevermind. A fire is useless to me now,” he said, and Rey watched with raised brows as he began treading across the damp grass and mud without so much as a glance back at her. 

Biting her lip, Rey stepped forward. “Kylo–wait,” she called. 

Ren stopped and looked back over at her, his brows lowering in suspicion. Rey opened her mouth again, hesitating. She couldn’t possibly...He was horrible, a terrible, _awful_ waste of breath, but–his hair was wet from the rain now, and it stretched down his face, giving him an almost vulnerable look that made her throat feel tight and her chest ache. And he was shivering again. 

She took another step forward, and Kylo turned around to face her. “You can stay in the hut,” she announced, and he raised his brows in surprise. _“But_ only for tonight,” she clarified. “You’re leaving in the morning.”

Kylo gave a single nod. “I’ll be gone before you’re awake.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey's compassion towards Luke's Naughty Nephew™ is completely platonic, I assure you. Completely platonic. Nothing at all to do with his looks. Nope.


	7. Chapter 7

Rey’s heart pounded against the wall of her chest as Kylo’s heavy footsteps followed her through the rain puddles. Why was she doing this? Why did she feel this pathetic tug of sympathy for _Kylo Ren,_ of all people? 

She must be mad, she decided, for allowing this man to stay the night with her in this tiny hut. There was barely enough room for one person inside, let alone two, and Ren wasn’t exactly small. The bed in the hut took up almost all of the space inside, leaving room for only a thin strip of stone floor between it and the fireplace built into the small alcove in the wall across from it. 

Rey swallowed as she stepped into the hut, not daring to glance back at Kylo as he followed her into the cramped space. _Only for the night,_ she reminded herself. 

She stood on the far side of the hut, opposite the door, feeling sweat beading at her hairline as she turned to glance at Kylo. He was already looking at her, but his dark eyes quickly shifted down to the fire. His large build exaggerated the tininess of the hut’s interior. The ceiling was less than a foot from the top of Kylo’s head, and he looked up, realizing this too. 

“Whoever built these huts, they must have been very small,” Kylo noted, his rich, deep voice filling the space. He looked at Rey askance, the corner of his closed mouth lifting slightly. Was that a smile?

Caught off guard, Rey frowned. Kylo’s face fell, his jaw shifting and his gaze lowering back down to the fire. Rey stared at his profile. She’d never seen him smile, if that’s what he’d been doing–she hadn’t even considered the fact that he had the ability to smile. 

Kylo kneeled down before the fire, and Rey watched silently as he peeled his gloves from his hands. He raised his palms before the fire, warming them. Rey realized she’d never seen his hands. For some reason, seeing them bare made him appear less monstrous and more–well, human. 

Shaking her head in an attempt to clear her flustered mind, Rey lowered onto the edge of the bed, facing the wall opposite the door and keeping her back to him. “You can sleep where you are, on the floor,” she said to the wall. As the low crackle of the fire filled the silence between them, Rey removed her arm guards and pulled her vest from her shoulders before crawling up the bed and slipping beneath the fur blankets. She shut her eyes and focused on slowing her breathing and her thudding heartbeat. 

What was _wrong_ with her? She didn’t fear Kylo–not really, not now. So why was her heart beating so hard, so fast? What was this ticklish feeling running down her neck? Why were her insides sweltering? Was she sick?

“Is there an extra blanket over there?” Kylo asked. 

Rey’s eyes popped open to see the back of his dark head. He was still sitting before the fire, facing away from her at the end of the bed. Rey grabbed one of the fur blankets atop her and a pillow and tossed them both, hearing the soft thump they made as they flopped onto the ground behind Kylo. He turned to look at the articles, his eyes sliding up the bed to meet hers. 

“Thank you,” he said, quietly. Rey gripped the edge of her blankets as he held her gaze a moment before turning back towards the fire. 

She let out a soft, shaking breath and stared up at the ceiling. She listened to the patter of the rain on the roof of the hut, the rumbling of the thunder in the distance. 

“And...thank you for letting me stay here,” Kylo continued, his voice quiet. Gentle, even. Another peal of thunder sounded, closer to the hut. “I’m glad I’m not outside in that,” he remarked. 

Rey focused on the back of his head, seeing how his dark hair was beginning to regain its waviness as it dried before the heat of the fire. “You’re welcome,” she finally answered, her voice equally as quiet. Kylo turned his face to look back at her again, but his glance was fleeting. 

….

Kylo’s stomach ached with hunger as he sat on the cold stone ground before the fire, the fur blanket Rey had thrown him wrapped around his middle. Having grown up a starving scavenger, Kylo knew that the girl was accustomed to going for long hours–days, even!–without food, but he wasn’t. And he was much larger than her. It was a simple fact that he required more sustenance than she. 

“There isn’t, by chance, any food stored in here, is there?” he asked, turning over his shoulder to look at Rey again. Her face and neck were bathed in dim orange and her eyes glinted with the light of the fire behind him. He found himself unable to look away as she propped herself up on her elbows, the blanket sliding from her shoulders. Kylo’s eyes lowered, trailing the deep V of her cream blouse. His throat tightened. 

“Thanks to your ship, Luke’s food stores were destroyed,” Rey said flatly, and Kylo’s eyes snapped back up to hers. So, she was back to hating him again. 

“You were the one that shot it down,” he said, pettily. 

“Because _you_ were shooting at the Falcon, and then at me!” she retorted. 

“You _know_ that wasn’t me,” he reminder her. “We’ve already been through this.”

Rey huffed out a sigh, and Kylo averted his gaze for a moment. “Look, I don’t want to fight,” he said, shaking his head and studying her skeptical frown. He set his jaw, locking eyes with her. “I never wanted to fight you.”

Rey’s expression remained turned from skepticism to confusion. 

“Although, I’ll admit, you’re looking good. With your lightsaber combat skills, I mean. At least, for someone with no formal training,” he added, raising an eyebrow.

Rey’s own brows lowered, and she sat straighter in the bed. “Luke trained me,” she stated.

Now it was Kylo’s turn to frown. “Luke? Trained you?” he repeated dumbly, and she nodded.

“Not for long,” she admitted, raising her chin, “but I learned a lot from him. He’s very wise.”

“Oh, did you?” he sneered, lowering his brows and shifting on the floor to face his body towards hers. He folded his legs in front of him. “And what wise _Jedi_ things did he teach you?”

“The same things he taught you, _Ben,”_ she said, his name sliding from her lips like an insult. Kylo straightened, a breath escaping his mouth. He hadn’t been called by his real name since…He shifted his gaze from the girl. A flare of bitterness consumed him, and he glared at her. 

“So he taught you the _Jedi Code,_ that attachments are forbidden, and all of that?” he snapped. “Tell me, Rey, did he look you in the eyes when he lied to you and told you that your parents were coming back for you? That you weren’t just sent to him so that you could be his problem, instead of everyone else’s? That you weren’t being abandoned by everyone else who you believed, like a fool, cared about you?”

Kylo huffed out a breath as he finished his rant, his shoulders tense, shaking. Searching Rey’s widened eyes, he slowly lowered his own. He huffed out another breath, staring down at the stone ground. He felt pressure at the back of his eyes, moisture, and he wiped quickly at his face. _No,_ he thought to himself, his cheeks growing hot, _not here. Not in front of–her._

“Kylo, I…” Rey began, and he looked at her askance. 

“You don’t need to say anything,” he said, mentally punching himself in the head. Obviously, now, any chance he’d had at forming some kind of civil connection with her had vanished. “I didn’t mean what I said. Please, just…” He sighed, turning away from her. “Just ignore me.”

“I was going to say that I’m sorry,” Rey said, and he turned to look back at her, eyes wide. _She_ was apologizing to _him?_ Rey’s brows lifted in the middle. “I’m sorry what happened to you.”

Kylo stared at her in amazement, his mouth parting. 

Rey shifted where she sat on the bed, her hands coming together at her lap, her fingers rubbing together. “I...I understand, Ky–” She bit her lip, pausing. “I mean, I understand, Ben, why you left Luke. And...how you are now,” she continued. 

_How I’ve turned into a monster,_ he thought deprecatingly. 

“You’re not a monster,” Rey said, reading his thoughts. “At least, not to the extent that you believe.” 

Ben stared at her blankly, his tongue feeling heavy and useless in his mouth. He felt like she’d cracked through a shell that he hadn’t realized he’d been wearing for many years. 

“I…” He shook his head. “Why are you saying this?” he asked. Rey shut her mouth, now apparently lost for words. “Did you get all of this from reading my mind on Starkiller?” he pressed, recalling how she’d probed his mind during the interrogation and towards the end of their first lightsaber fight. Rey nodded. 

“Yes,” she said. He waited, but she didn’t elaborate. 

Ben looked back into the fire, his heart thrumming in his chest. He felt like a heavy weight had just been removed from his shoulders. She actually _understood_ him, something that no one else seemed capable of doing, not even his parents, when he was younger. Even Snoke hadn’t been able to reach as far into his thoughts and memories as she had. And now she’d even gotten him thinking of himself again as _Ben._ He shook his head, flushed with unexpected warmth and energy. A warmth and energy he hadn’t felt for a very, very long time. He could–He wanted to–

“I was abandoned, too,” Rey began again, and Kylo faced her again. “Although, I forgot you already know that from having read my mind.” She let out a short, bitter laugh, then met his eyes again. Hers were earnest. Kind. “I know what it feels like, to have no one but yourself to fall back on. To feel lost, and...alone.”

Ben opened his palms, pressing them flat against the ground on either side of him. He held Rey’s gaze intently, his chest surging, his mind swimming. Rey, too, sat up straighter, her lower lip trembling once as she stared back. The fire’s crackle and the pattering of the rain seemed to grow louder in Ben’s ears as he stared into Rey’s luminous eyes. He was about to push himself up from the ground when Rey broke their held contact, lowering her gaze to her hands and biting her lower lip. Either the orangish fire had changed color, or her cheeks had turned a deep shade of red. 

Ben’s face fell as Rey slid back beneath the blankets and turned her body toward one of the side walls, facing away from him. He let out a long, dispirited breath as he turned himself around again. Slowly, he gathered his pillow and blanket and laid on his side before the fire. 

But it felt like hours had passed before he finally succumbed to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Seems like Rey's come down sick, poor baby. Symptoms include racing heart, shortness of breath, fever, and buried sexual frustration. Kylo Ben's sick, too, and he's got it _bad._
> 
> Do we have any doctors out there that could recommend a remedy? Our poor friends here could really use the help.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More plot ahead before we can get to the good stuff...but don't worry, Padawans, we're nearly there :)

Rey twisted her sore back and shoulders as she sat up in bed. Her narrowed eyes followed the slivers of daylight reaching into the hut from around the door frame. The light ran before the alcove, bereft of fire. The dimly-lit stone floor was empty save for a cape and the rudimentary-looking hilt of Kylo’s lightsaber. _Ben’s_ lightsaber.

Rey sighed, feeling a heaviness in her chest. Ben had left her sometime before she’d woken up, just as he’d promised. Deep inside, Rey wished he’d broken that promise. 

…

Ben was ravenous. 

He had just started on his way to find the place he’d found yesterday with the bird-creatures when he heard a chirping sound behind him. He turned, looking back at the crashed shuttle and the tiny hut in the distance. He saw nothing, but he decided to investigate. 

Ben trekked back to the wrecked piles of bricks and stone and began searching them, scanning every crevice in sight. 

_Chirp, chirp._

There it was again–and not far. Ben crept forward, not wanting to scare the thing off–wherever it was. He approached the rubble piles around him, lifting up crumbling bricks to peek in the spaces between. 

Ben heard another shrill sound, directly to his left. Gingerly, he lowered the brick in his hands and turned to see one of the round bird-creatures sitting atop a brick pile. It was staring directly at him. 

Ben kept his movements slow as he stalked toward the creature, anxious of scaring it off, even though the animals on the other side of the island had shown no fear. He lifted his gloved hands from his sides, positioning them on either side of the animal. His fingers curled in anticipation. The thing had wings, so it could presumably take off in flight if he wasn’t fast enough. 

Looming over the creature, Ben sucked in a breath and clamped his hands around its stout middle. The animal let out a squeak, but it didn’t struggle. Instead, it continued to stare up at him with its overly large, soulless black eyes. 

Ben lifted the plump little creature, holding it awkwardly before him as he made his way back to the hut. He sensed Rey awake. Hopefully she wouldn’t mind if he came in just to get his saber where he’d forgotten it to kill the thing. He needed the fire too, of course, to cook it. Ben bet she would allow him in if he offered to share. 

He thought of Rey’s calm and sleeping face as he’d looked at her this morning. Her face had been quite different than the one she usually showed him. Although, last night, she had been different. She had shown him...kindness. Looking ahead at the hut, Ben’s heart surged. Would she be as favorable towards him today?

Ben stopped as Rey opened the wooden door, her face scrunching as her eyes moved from his to the bird-thing in his hands. No, it seemed that her hostility had returned. 

“What are you doing?” she asked, her eyes flickering between him and the creature. Ben observed that she was wearing her arm guards and vest again, and not just her snug-fitting cream blouse. 

Ben nodded towards the hut. “I was coming back to get my lightsaber.” 

“No–What are you doing with the _porg?”_

“Is that what this thing is called?” Ben asked, glancing down at the furry creature. It was still staring up at him stupidly, its open mouth revealing tiny white teeth. Ben noticed that the animal had a dark spot just above one of its eyes, like an eyebrow.

“I was going to cook it,” Ben explained, looking back across at Rey. 

Her brows pressed down upon her lids. “Cook it? Are you mad? Put it down!” she declared, stomping toward him. 

Ben held the porg over his head, out of Rey’s reach as she attempted to swipe it from his hands. He fought back a smile, amused by her smallness. 

“Let it go,” Rey demanded, hands on hips. 

Ben frowned down at her. “No,” he said, “I’m starving.” The porg chirped. “Don’t you realize where the fur in those pillows and blankets came from?” he asked, a flash of frustration running through him. “That’s all _porg_ fur.”

“I don’t want to think about it,” Rey said, shaking her head. Her expression morphed from angry to imploring. “Ben, please don’t,” she urged, her voice quieting. “Luke caught fish on the island to eat–you don’t have to kill the porgs.”

“I _want_ to eat the porgs,” Ben countered, jostling the thing before her for emphasis. It let out a squeak. Ben searched the girl’s face. “Aren’t you hungry?” he asked her. 

Rey hesitated, her brows lifting. “Of course I am. But not hungry enough to eat one of those.” 

“Why not?” Ben pressed. “What’s so special about these things?”

“They’re not–” Rey cut herself off, folding her arms across her chest and frowning. Ben stared at her, his brows raising expectantly. “There’s nothing special about them,” Rey admitted. “They’re just–well–I think they’re cute, okay?” she blurted, and pressed her lips together as if regretting what she’d said. 

Ben stared at her blankly, then cracked a smile–he couldn’t help himself. He let out a low laugh, and Rey frowned at him. “You think _this_ thing is... _cute?”_ he mocked, looking down at the doughy animal. Staring into its eyes was like being pulled into an inescapable black void. 

Ben’s face fell, and he huffed out a sigh. He lowered and set the porg down gently at his feet. The creature shook out its wings and fluffed its fur. Ben and Rey watched together as the porg waddled calmly away. 

“The poor thing has no idea it was just about to be _eaten,”_ Rey said. “It must have been one of the porgs that was nesting here, before…” Rey trailed. Ben frowned, but he found himself studying the slope of her small nose, her long, blinking eyelashes. 

Ben was abruptly distracted by a pang of hunger deep in his stomach. “You said something about fish?” 

Rey nodded, turning to look up at him. “Yes, Luke explained to me that he caught fish with a net of some sort, off of a low cliff over that way–” She pointed across the grass plain beyond. “I assume Luke kept his fishing tools over there, because I didn’t see any in the huts. Let’s hope he did, or else they were crushed by your ship.”

“Mm. One more thing I potentially destroyed,” Ben said wryly, making his way in the direction Rey had indicated. He sensed Rey following him as he crossed the green slope of the island and, eventually, took a turn leading the way.

“So this is the place that Luke has been hiding out in for the last six or seven years?” Ben called.

Rey turned over her shoulder to scowl at him. “That’s none of your business.”

“I should think it is,” Ben countered, frowning. It was _his_ uncle they were talking about, after all.

Rey led him down a series of ancient stone steps. “I think it’s down here,” she said, changing the subject and glancing back at him over her shoulder. 

They reached a low, rocky plateau extending out over the crashing waves below. Ben stepped out onto the platform, looking around for the alleged fishing supplies. 

“I don’t see anything,” he said, downcast. 

“Look–down there,” Rey said, pointing down another short series of steps. “They’re leading to someplace. It looks like…”

“A cave,” Ben observed, following her down the hill. They paused before the opening in the rocky outcropping before them. The mouth of the cave dripped with water from the air’s moisture-rich marine layer. 

Ben followed Rey into the cave and heard soft, echoing chirps ahead in the darkness. It was relatively warm inside the cave. Ben looked over at Rey, who was searching the edges of the place. “If we don’t catch any fish, we’re eating one of those porgs,” he said. 

“There it is,” Rey said, ignoring him and pulling a thickly-woven rope net from a boulder against the cave’s wall. Wordlessly, Kylo took the other end of the net, and together they dragged it out onto the rocky landing. 

A long rope was attached to one end of the net. The dropping line, Ben presumed, and he gathered the net and tossed it out over the cliff, keeping hold of the excess rope. He and Rey stood side by side as they watched the net sink below the ocean’s rolling surface. 

“Now what?” Ben asked, turning to Rey. The chilly ocean breeze blew her loose hair across her neck. She hadn’t changed her hair since last night, he’d noticed; the top layers of her hair were gathered in two round knots, but the lowest layer remained free to cascade down her back and shoulders. 

“Now...we wait a few minutes, I suppose, and then we pull it up and see what we’ve caught,” Rey postulated. 

“If we’ve caught anything at all, you mean,” Ben quipped, lowering his brows at her. 

Rey shot him an annoyed look, then peered out over the rock’s edge at the ocean extending to the horizon. Ben stepped slightly and watched the ocean with her, their sleeves brushing. The water was calmer today than it had been yesterday, the waves less violent as they crashed against the cliff face below. Rey shivered, and he looked down at her askance. 

“You’re cold,” he observed quietly. 

“I’m fine,” she asserted, but she leaned a little closer to him, her sleeved arm pressing gently against his. 

Ben considered raising his arm to draw her into him, but his arms felt locked in place. He snuck glances down at the top of Rey’s head, wanting to talk to her but at a loss for what to say. His hunger got the better of him again, anyways. 

“I don’t think I can wait any longer,” he said, moving around Rey to pull up the net. He yanked the rope in, and as the dripping net lifted from the water, Ben’s eyes rounded at the sight of a sizeable blue fish flopping around inside. _Food!_

“Oh, wow, look! We caught one!” Rey exclaimed, smiling brightly. 

Ben stiffened as he looked at her, feeling as if a fist was squeezing his heart. He’d never seen her smile before. The corner of his mouth lifted in a dazed attempt to smile back, and Rey’s bright expression faded into a look of confusion. She broke their held gaze to look over the cliff at the fish, and Ben shook his head and pulled the net up onto the edge of the cliff. Rey leaned down, freeing the wriggling fish from its entanglement in the net. 

“This is enough food to last us another day,” she said, clutching the large, wobbling fish to her chest. Her lower lids pinched up in a slight smile. 

Ben swallowed heavily. Kriff, why was being around her so difficult? His limbs felt leaden, weak, as if he could fall to his knees at any given moment. It was probably the hunger, he decided. It was making him woozy. 

“Come on, then, let’s go and cook this thing so we can eat,” Rey said, lifting her knee to balance the fish higher in her grasp.

“Here,” Ben offered, stepping toward her and extending his gloved hands. 

“No, I’ve got it,” Rey protested, frowning and struggling to keep hold of the fish. The fish shook, nearly sliding from her hands. “On second thought,” she relented, shovelling the heavy fish into Ben’s arms, and he held it in a vice against him. Ben looked at Rey, studying her face. 

Her brows pinched together. “What?” she asked, softly.

Ben shook his head and looked away, heat rising to his cheeks. “Nothing,” he said, readjusting the fish against his chest and began moving forward. “Nothing. Let’s go.”

…. 

Rey shielded her hand over her face against the light rain as she walked with Ben back to the hut. She smiled and bit her lip, looking at him askance. Never in her wildest dreams would she have imagined that she’d end up walking across a deserted island alongside Kylo Ren with a fat flopping fish in his arms. 

Ben’s eyes flickered to hers. Rey flushed; he had caught her smiling at him. 

“What’s so funny?” Ben asked, frowning. 

“I don’t know, it’s just…” Rey shrugged, shifting her gaze to the hut ahead. “It’s funny the way life works out sometimes.”

“Like how?” Ben asked cluelessly. 

“Like, yesterday we were fighting with lightsabers, and today we’re spending the day fishing and cooking together. I mean...”

Ben looked ahead for a moment, tilting his head towards her. “Well, we’re doing what we have to to survive. He glanced at her as they reached the hut. “You would know, Scavenger,” he added, and leaned his weight against the hut’s door to open it.

Ben set the fish onto his cape on the stone floor and turned back around. “We need a way to cook this thing,” he said, moving past her. Rey sucked in a breath, her skin flushing as placed his gloved hand on her bare upper arm to slide past her in the narrow doorway. Her gaze followed him as he walked out into the rain and lowered to begin pulling branches from a bush. 

Rey found herself smiling, but she quickly straightened her face and turned around to take care of the fish. She had work to do. She crouched and poked the fish with her finger. It didn’t react; it must be dead now, she figured. She stood and pulled her lightsaber from her belt, igniting it. 

“I found a sharp rock we could use to–Oh,” Ben said from behind her as he stepped into the hut. Rey turned, her cheeks growing hot as she saw his wet face and hair.

“I–I was going to use the lightsaber to cut the fish,” she explained. 

Ben’s shoulders lowered. “Oh, okay. For moment there I thought…”

Rey raised an eyebrow, turning towards him. “You thought I was going to fight you again?” Teasingly, she poked her saber in his direction. 

Ben shrugged. “Well, with you, I never really know what to expect,” he admitted, the corner of his mouth tugging upwards. 

Rey narrowed her eyes, not sure how to take that statement–or that look. She wished desperately that he would stop making that face; it made her feel weak inside. Rey returned her attention to the fish and began chopping it into chunks with her lightsaber. Beside her, Ben dried a series of sticks on his black tunic and began stacking them in the fire alcove. 

Rey disengaged her saber and gathered a few rocks from where she’d stored them next to the fireplace. Ben watched as she struck the rocks against each other over the sticks he’d gathered, igniting a small fire. Ben moved closer and crouched before the sliced fish, sliding a raw chunk onto the end of a branch. Rey raised her brows as he extended the stick to her. 

“Oh, um, thank you,” she said, accepting it with a trembling hand. 

After dragging the remainder of the fish outside and draping his coat over the carcass, Ben loaded his own stick and, together, they sat before the fire to roast their meal. Rey was aware of the small space between them on the cold ground, and she snuck a glance at Ben’s profile. Despite the warmth from the fire and the heat inside her chest, the chilly breeze blowing in from beneath the door made her shiver. 

“Here, Rey,” Ben said quietly, pulling a blanket from the bed with his free hand and offering it to her. 

“Thank you,” she said, giving him a quick, small smile. Ben didn’t smile, but his brows lifted slightly over his dark eyes. Rey shifted her attention back to the fire and her roasting fish. “These look about done,” she observed, bringing the skewered fish to her face to blow on it. “Mm, it smells amazing.”

“It does,” Ben agreed, blowing on his own food. 

Rey took a bite of the fish and let out a low sound–she couldn’t help it. “This is so good,” she said, closing her eyes and savoring the taste and feel of the warm fish on her tongue. She took another bite, the hot juices from the fish rolling down the stick and onto her gripping fingers. She slid her fingertips into her mouth, one at a time, sucking the flavor off. 

Next to her, Ben let out a breath and shifted his folded legs. Rey looked at him as she swallowed another bite of food, finding that he was watching her intently. She frowned at his untouched chunk of food. “You...haven’t tried it yet?” she asked confusedly. 

“No, I–I have,” he said quickly, taking a bite. “It’s good,” he said, chewing and swallowing. “Really good.” Now it was Rey’s turn to watch, and she raised her brows in surprise as Ben finished his food in three concentrated mouthfuls. 

Rey shook her head in amusement and looked into the waving fire. She thought of Finn and the members of the Resistance she had met, and she no longer felt so amused. 

“How long do you think we’ll be stuck here?” she wondered aloud. For a few moments, the sounds of the rain and the fire filled the silence between them. 

….

“I don’t know,” Ben answered, their eyes meeting. 

Rey got to her feet. “Well, we’d better start keeping track, I guess,” she said, and Ben watched her as she picked up one of the rocks she’d used to strike the fire and stood before the wall. She began scratching two marks into the brick wall. 

“That was how you kept track of how long you had been on Jakku, wasn’t it?” Ben asked knowingly. He’d seen it in her mind when he’d interrogated her, those thousands of scratch marks on the walls of her AT-AT. His throat tightened as Rey looked down at him, nodding solemnly. 

“Yeah,” she said. “For a while, when I was growing up, I kind of forgot why I even did it,” she said, studying the rock in her hands. “It just became a sort of habit, something I did every evening. I couldn’t fall asleep until I had made a mark in the wall.” 

Rey set the rock on the ground and sat down again, closer to him this time. Ben was hyper-aware that his sleeved arm was just inches away from hers. Rey huffed out a sigh. “I can’t believe we’re stuck here, in the middle of nowhere. If I was still on Jakku, at least I could be waiting for my family to come back,” she said, looking away. “If they ever will.” 

“Rey,” Ben said softly, and she turned to look at him, her eyes moist. Maker, she was so close, and in the light of the fire… Ben swallowed. “I’m sorry about your family,” he said gently. Rey looked down, and he grappled internally, wanting to comfort her but unsure how. 

In all of the years she’d spent on Jakku, through all of the days she’d kept her same dress and hairstyle so that her parents would recognize her upon their return, her family had never shown up. They’d abandoned Rey and, likely, were now dead. From his interrogation of her, Ben understood that deep down, Rey thought this, too, but still she clung to a desperate thread of hope. 

Hope was something he himself had discarded years ago, when he’d reached the conclusion that his parents were more invested in their own projects than they were in him. Ben had questioned whether they’d actually ever loved him. He’d broken from Luke’s academy and, in a fit of heartbroken rage, burned it to the ground. He hadn’t known that the other Jedi students were inside at the time, he hadn’t meant to kill them, but it had all happened so fast and the only one he’d had left to turn to was Snoke, that dark, beckoning presence that had always been there in his mind, waiting for the day he’d enter his tutelage. No, Ben had no hope left then. 

But now, _now,_ hope was sitting right here beside him. Ever since he’d come across this intriguing young girl in the forest on Takodana he’d been overwhelmed with feelings and urges over which he had little control. Looking into Rey’s troubled eyes, Ben didn’t think he had any ounce of self-control left. 

Rey turned her face from his, shifting her gaze back to the fire and releasing a shaking breath. She was breathing quickly, he noticed. “My clothes smell like seawater,” she said, breaking the silence between them, and Ben’s mouth parted as he watched her push up from the ground. “I’m going to go rinse off in the rain.”

“Rey, you’ll freeze out there,” he said, but Rey didn’t respond, didn’t even look at him as she left the hut in an apparent hurry. 

Ben frowned at the ground. Did she not feel anything other than sympathy for him? Did she not feel this yearning, this will of the Force? Would they merely be resigned to live out the rest of their days on this island as half-hearted allies?

_No,_ Ben thought. He couldn’t let that happen–wouldn’t. He would show her that she was right to hold on to the hope that she would find belonging again, for he would give it to her. 

Ben pushed up from the ground, his heart hammering wildly in his chest. Rey was walking back up to the hut’s doorway through the rain, arms crossed over chest and shivering. 

“It’s s-so cold,” she stammered, raising her voice above sounds of the rain falling around them. “You c-came out to rinse off, t-too?” 

Ben shook his head. “No,” he said, and Rey stopped before him as he blocked her path to the hut. Her eyes narrowed. Ben studied her pale face, framed in dark, soaked strands of hair, her searching hazel eyes. He swallowed, digging his fingers into his gloved palms. His throat tightened; he could barely breathe. “I came to give you this.” He reached his right hand up to Rey’s cheek as he lowered and pressed his lips down to hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That was cheesy as all hell but I'm impatient, dammit, and I need these two to kiss already. Kiss, I say! 
> 
> Anyways, let's get to the most pressing topic of this chapter: are you pro-porg, like Rey, or are you with Ben and anti-porg? Would you rather pet a porg or put one on your plate?


	9. Chapter 9

Ben’s mind was cleared of all thoughts as he held the kiss, his fingers pressing against Rey’s slick jaw and neck. Rey didn’t fight it; instead, for a moment, Ben thought he felt her lean into him, and he was overcome with glowing warmth. 

Then Rey was pulling away, taking a step back from him. Ben lowered his hand to his side, studying Rey’s expression and feeling his chest tighten as he read dazed confusion in her eyes.

“Ben…” Rey quivered, her voice barely audible above the rainfall. Her mouth remained parted, her lower lip trembling as she stared at him. What was she thinking? What was she feeling? Ben fretted, but he didn’t dare read her thoughts. 

He knew that this had been her first kiss; he’d filtered through her memories during his interrogation of her on Starkiller, unable to fight his curiosity whether she’d had any lovers on Jakku. He selfishly remembered discovering that she’d had none. 

Struggling for breath, Ben extended his gloved hand to her. “Come back inside,” he said, gently. The sun was low on the horizon, about to set, and the air and rain were growing colder. Shivering, Rey shifted her eyes between his face and his trembling hand. After a long, hesitant moment, she gave him her hand, and he closed his fingers around hers. 

Ben glanced back at Rey as he led her through the doorway of the hut. When they reentered the warm, dry interior, Rey slid her hand from his.

“I can’t do this,” she huffed, still shivering. She looked conflicted, even a bit fearful, Ben thought, and his heart tugged. “I don’t understand, we–we shouldn’t,” she stammered.

“Why not?” Ben asked, locking eyes with her. Rey frowned up at him as he managed to catch her mental defenses off guard, and he slipped into her thoughts. He saw that she was worrying about what her friends in the Resistance would think about all of this. What was of more interest to him, though, was that he glimpsed yearning before she pushed him from her mind. A hot flash of energy ran through his core.

Slowly, Ben stepped towards her. Rey let out a quick breath as he rested his gloved palm on her bare forearm. “You shouldn’t worry about them, Rey,” he said, searching her hazel eyes. “It’s just us now.”

Rey’s breath came in shivering bursts. She shook her head, her mouth opening but no words passing her lips. 

“But if you want me to leave, I will,” Ben said, tightening his jaw and sliding his hand from her arm. “I’ll go stay in the cave–”

“No,” Rey said abruptly. She shook her head, taking a step towards him but avoiding his gaze. “No, you can stay.”

Rey turned, keeping her gaze cast away from him as she peeled off her damp outer vest. Ben watched her closely, clenching his hands at his sides. He noticed the small points of her nipples poking against her snug cream blouse, and a new hunger consumed him, one of a most potent kind. 

Rey faced the fire and sat down, leaning her back against the end of the bed. She slid her palm onto the ground between them and finally looked up at him, her face neutral. Getting the message, Ben lowered and sat next to her, close enough for their arms to touch. 

Rey stared ahead into the flames as Ben’s gaze traced down her profile, her neck, her chest as it rose and fell in quick, successive pulses. She was ethereal. 

“Why did you kiss me?” Rey breathed, still not looking at him. 

Ben hesitated, mulling over what he should say. He wasn’t about to lay all of his cards on the table. “Why are you letting me stay?” he countered. 

Rey looked at him, her mouth parting. Her cheeks reddened, and she swivelled her face from him. Her legs straightened out in front of her, one folded over top of the other. 

“Rey,” Ben coaxed, and she looked at him askance. “Don’t be afraid,” he said. “There’s nothing to be afraid of. Not with me.” Looking deep into her eyes, lit by the flickering glow of the fire, he wanted nothing more than to kiss her again, but he knew he should hold himself back, give her space. 

But Rey’s eyes were locked on his, and–was her face leaning closer? Her hand rose to his sleeved arm, and he felt paralyzed. 

_Kiss me again,_ Ben heard in his mind, and he let out a soft, quivering breath. Had he imagined that? He noticed a stray strand of damp hair sticking to Rey’s cheek, and he rose his hand to her face, gently swiping the hair from her skin with his gloved thumb. He felt dazed, struck by the fact that not only had she allowed him to kiss her once, but she wanted him to do it _again._

Rey’s eyes were soft, and her parted mouth as he leaned in and closed his lids. Lightly, he brushed his lips against hers, feeling Rey’s grip tighten on his arm. Her lips were warm, smooth, silken. Ben kissed her then, and Rey pressed softly back. She moved her hand up to his shoulder, and Ben slid his hand to the back of her head in response, his fingers wrapping through strands underneath her lowest knot of hair. 

Their lips parted as they both let out a quick breath, Rey’s warm exhalation beating against Ben’s waiting mouth. Ben leaned in again, and as his lips returned to hers he pulled her face to his, deepening the kiss. This time, Rey was not so passive. She kissed him back, squeezing his shoulder tightly and turning her upper body towards him. 

Sweat beaded at Ben’s hairline, the heat of the fire before them feeling as if it had increased twofold. Ben reached his free hand to hold the side of Rey’s waist, his fingers gripping into her blouse. Rey made a small sound against his lips, and heat ran down Ben’s center. 

“Rey,” he breathed against her hot mouth. As kissed her again, he tilted his face and parted his mouth more, keeping his movements slow and allowing her to learn from him, to follow. She smelled salty from the rain, matched with a sweetness that was something all her own. Rey’s fingers dug into his shoulder so hard he half-wondered if her nails would break through the fabric of his tunic. Not that he would mind that. Ben kept his own fingers pressed into the snug fabric around Rey’s waist, and he felt her flinch as he squeezed her yielding flesh beneath. 

Ben knew he was reaching the point of no return. He knew he should stop now, it would be the right thing to do, but Rey’s sweet, soft lips and her warm breath on his mouth made it impossible to pull away. He wanted her in full, and badly. He was entranced, enraptured by this girl who had from the start been so much more than just a girl. 

In this moment, there was no outside galaxy, no First Order, no war, no Ahch-To. There was only her: Rey. 

Ben awoke from his hypnotized state as he felt a wet droplet slide onto his upper lip. Gently, reluctantly, he pulled back from Rey’s face to see another tear sliding down her cheek. Her mouth trembled, and she looked up at him with rheumy eyes. Ben retreated his hands from her to wipe the tear from her cheek, giving her a questioning look. 

“I shouldn’t want this,” Rey breathed, releasing her grip from his shoulder and putting her palm to his chest, as if wanting to push him away. 

“Me, you mean,” Ben said with a sting. So she didn’t feel this same connection, after all, he thought. Maybe she did just feel bad for him, and that was as far as her feelings ran. Ben searched her face earnestly, wanting to see in her eyes that this wasn’t the truth, but his heart dropped in his chest as she lowered her gaze from his. Ben pushed up from the ground, Rey’s hand sliding from his front. Her eyes widened up at him. 

“It’s probably best, then, if I leave,” Ben said, straightening his tunic. 

“No, Ben, wait,” Rey began, getting up from the ground. She reached for the edge of his tunic as he moved past her, but he kept walking, the fabric pulling through her fingers as he opened the door to the hut. _“Ben,”_ she called, her voice cracking, and he reluctantly stopped to look back at her in the doorway. 

“I’ve upset you,” he said. “That wasn’t my intention. I thought we shared a connection, but clearly I was mistaken.” He held his breath, lowering his brows. “I’m sorry I ever kissed you,” he said, clenching his jaw as he spoke the lie. Rey stared back at him, her eyes widening and her face falling. Ben stared at her an aching moment longer before turning and stomping out into the rain.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Angst.


	10. Chapter 10

Rey watched Ben through the doorway of the hut, the rain obscuring his figure from view. The hurt she’d read in his dark eyes just moments ago hung in her mind, and it tore her apart to watch him leave. Gripping the edge of the door frame, Rey rose onto her tip-toes, swaying. Should she go after him?

Rey exhaled, lowering her boots and and gaze to the ground. _No, I’ve allowed myself to become weak._ Closing the door, she turned to face the hut’s interior, which suddenly felt so much larger than it had before. So _empty._

_“There’s nothing to be afraid of. Not with me.”_ Why had Ben’s words touched her so deeply? He’d wanted to comfort her, and comfort her he did. She couldn’t deny the fact that she felt safe with him, secure, but as he’d kissed her so gently before the fire, she’d felt something much more profound, something she couldn’t quite understand or explain. Even now, the same electric warmth was flowing through her veins. 

Rey reached a hand to the back of her head, where Ben’s had been. She tugged at her two hair knots in frustration. Why did her body feel so tingly, so strange? What was happening to her? 

Ben had killed his father, betrayed his uncle, and injured her friend. What if Luke found out what had happened between she and Ben? She couldn’t even bare to think of Finn right now. What if _he_ found out that Ben– _Kylo Ren_ –had kissed her? What if he’d found out that, for whatever reason, she’d kissed him _back?_

That maybe she’d relished the feeling of his lips and hands on her?

That maybe she’d felt something with Ben that she could only describe as... _magical?_

For the past few years, Rey had seen a man in daydreams, in nightmares, and she was only now beginning to piece together that this was _Ben_ she’d been imagining. But–how? How could she have possibly known about him without having encountered him before Takodana? 

Growing up, she’d always followed her head, and doing so had allowed her to scrape out a life on Jakku. If she could even call it a life, Rey thought now, because she was only just beginning to realize the true depths of what life had to offer, and on Jakku, she hadn’t even touched the surface. She was also learning that life also wasn’t as black-and-white as she had once thought; Ben had proved that to her. 

Rey flopped down onto the bed. She sniffled, new tears brimming below her eyes. Ben wouldn’t want to see her, not now, she figured. Though she hadn’t meant to, she’d dealt him a hard blow, so he probably wouldn’t want to talk to her for a while. If at all. 

Heat still coursed through Rey’s veins, spreading out from her center and leaving her restless. She rolled onto her back, tracing her fingers across her lips, where Ben’s had been. She doubted she’d be getting to sleep anytime soon. 

….

Ben huffed out a long breath, watching his white gust of breath dissolving into the frigid air. His throat hurt and he felt tense all over. Arching his sore back, he winced, feeling a pain at the front of his left hip. Squinting his bleary eyes, he peered through the cave’s mouth to the rising sun on the horizon beyond. It was still early, and he surmised that he hadn’t managed more than a few hours’ sleep. 

It had taken him close to an an hour in the darkness last night to find his way back to the cave by the cliffs. That, combined with his lack of sleep and what transpired with Rey, had left him feeling drained. Ben leaned his head against the rocky wall behind him, closing his eyes and listening to the dull crash of the waves against the cliffs outside. 

_“I shouldn’t want this,”_ was what Rey had said last night. But she _did_ want it, _him,_ wasn’t that what she’d unwittingly admitted? Ben slid a gloved hand down his face, finding his jaw sore. For Maker’s sake, she’d kissed him back, hadn’t she? But that didn’t mean she’d had the same feelings coursing through her that he did. The same feelings that still ran through the very fiber of his being now. 

In any case, Ben thought, he would respect what Rey wanted. If she sought nothing more than platonic companionship with him, he could live with that. Couldn’t he? He could learn to. At least, eventually. 

Ben rose to his feet, groaning at his body’s unexpected stiffness. Running his gloved hands through his hair, he began pacing the length of the cave’s narrow width. He felt agitated, restless, and exhausted all at one, and even kind of dizzy as he thought of last night. Maybe that had been his only opportunity to hit it off with Rey, and he’d ruined it. He’d rushed things, been unable to keep a handle on himself when Rey had not even kissed anyone before, much less someone she’d so recently considered her sworn enemy. For once in his life, Ben wished for Hux’s presence, wanting for someone to slug him hard in the face. 

He didn’t regret kissing Rey, of course, but he knew he’d overwhelmed her. Still, Rey’s rejection cut deep. Was it because this rejection was a little too familiar to him? He felt as if the girl had sliced her lightsaber through his heart. Just like….Ben cut off that train of thought, closing his eyes hard for a moment. 

He hadn’t been able to control his knee-jerk reaction to Rey’s words, and now he felt like a callous idiot for it. But last night, it was as if he’d been waiting for Rey to speak those words, to spurn his chronic longing for affection. Affection he’d never gotten from even his own family when he’d needed it most. 

….

It was late morning when Rey finished a skewer of fish before the fire. Her thoughts circled around the events of last night, around _Ben._ She wondered if he was feeling as isolated as she was, now that they’d spent the night apart. She wondered if he was hungry. She should bring him food, she decided, and she made quick work of preparing a new skewer, crouching before the fire to roast it in lonely silence. 

Rey didn’t bother to bring her vest as she carried the fish out of the hut. She felt a little freer without it. She didn’t need the vest anyways, she decided; it seemed a bit warmer outside today. 

When Rey finally made her way down the steps to the cave, her breathing quickened and her heart felt as if it were rising to her throat. What if Ben turned her away? she worried. What if he had returned to being her adversary and would now look at her with hatred, disgust? Could she live with that?

But as Rey turned into the cave’s shadowy mouth, her fears were squashed. Ben sat against the cave wall, his dark eyes flickering to her and melting into a softness that made her heart flutter. He looked weary, his hair more ruffled more usual, but this gave him a look of vulnerability Rey would never expected to have seen. It took her a moment to catch her breath and compose herself. 

“Morning,” she greeted. Ben looked puzzled as his neared him, his gaze shifting to the skewer in her hands. Suddenly, Rey remembered her initial reason for coming down to the cave. “Oh–this is for you,” she said quickly, moving towards him and extending the stick to him awkwardly. 

Slowly, Ben took the food from her grip, looking up at her with searching eyes. “Why?” he asked. 

“I figured you’d be hungry,” she answered, shrugging. She looked down at her hands, trying to appear nonchalant. Her heartbeat thud like a beating drum in her ears. 

“Thank you,” Ben mumbled, taking a bite of the food.

Rey gave him a nod, then looked down, well aware of the stiff silence between them. She traced the toe of her boot against the smooth rock floor, making a scraping sound that echoed down the length of the cave. In the dimness, she heard the twittering of porgs. 

Letting out a quick breath, Rey gathered the nerve to clear the air. “About...last night,” she began, and Ben’s dark eyes rose to hers as he chewed. Rey held his gaze, wanting to make sure he knew that she was sincere. “I’m sorry,” she said. “Ben, I didn’t mean to hurt you.”

Ben’s face blanched a shade lighter. “Rey, don’t,” he said, shaking his head and rubbing his gloved hand along his forehead. His skin looked damp. “You don’t need to explain yourself. What happened...I shouldn’t have overstepped…” he trailed, shutting his eyes hard once. 

Rey studied him. “Are you...okay?” she asked, taking a step closer. He was paler than usual, she observed. Had sleeping out in the cold left him this run-down? Sympathy hit her like a blow to her chest. 

“I’m fine,” Ben huffed, turning his face and closing his eyes. Rey noticed his neck muscles tensing. Something was definitely off about him, she thought. She could _sense_ it, even.

“Look at me,” she instructed, and Ben obliged. Rey kneeled before him, narrowing her eyes as she noticed faint purplish marks under his eyes. “Ben, you’re not fine,” she said, straightening. His gaze narrowed, following her. “You need to come back to the hut and get warm,” she said. 

“I’m fine,” he protested. 

Rey frowned, extending her hand down to him. “Ben. Come on,” she pressed.

Ben’s brows lifted at her insistence, and he took her hand. He grunted as he used part of her weight to pull himself up. He took in a quick breath as he stood, snatching his hand from hers to press it at the front of his hip. 

“Let’s head back up the hill before you get worse,” Rey said, glancing down at his hand, and he followed her out of the cave and into the sunlight. 

It was slow going as Rey lead the way back. Ben walked slower than usual, keeping his hand to his hip now and then. When the hut was within sight, Rey stopped and waited for Ben to catch up. 

“How are you holding up?” she asked, looking up at his pale face. Sweat dotted his hairline. 

“I’m okay,” Ben said, nodding, but he didn’t look it. Rey studied him a moment before leading the rest of the way to the hut. Ben had never struck her as a very talkative type, but he was especially quiet today.

Once inside the hut, Ben watched Rey as she kneeled before the alcove in the wall, quickly getting a new fire started. 

“Alright, it’ll get warmer in here soon,” Rey said unnecessarily, rising to her feet and dusting off her knees. She felt jittery as the knowledge of what had happened last night hung between them. Taking in a shaking breath, Rey looked up into Ben’s intent, dark eyes, a jolt of energy shooting down her center. Her gaze followed a line of sweat traveling down from his damp hairline. 

“Your head hurts, doesn’t it?” she asked, and he nodded. “You might be running a fever. Here–sit down,” she said, and Ben settled onto the bed’s bottom edge. Sucking her lower lip into her mouth, Rey stood directly beside his legs, avoiding meeting his eyes as she brushed his thick hair from his forehead and placed her palm above his brows. 

“If I’m sick...I hope I didn’t give it to you,” Ben said, quietly. 

As she felt his hot forehead, Rey couldn’t control her senses. Ben smelled of salt, and sweat, and a deep, luring redolence that was distinctly _male._ A tingling sensation returned to her skin, and Rey took a step back from him, needing room to breath. 

“You’re burning up, Ben,” she exhaled. She lowered her gaze, remembering how he had been holding his hand at the base of his torso. “Do you think you’re injured?” 

“Maybe.” 

“Well, we need to find out,” Rey said. Ben shut his eyes hard, wincing and running his hand down his face. “Here, just–lay down,” she said, moving close to him and pressing her hand against his shoulder. Ben let out a breath as he lowered onto his back, his eyes meeting hers. “Where do you think you’re hurt? Your hip?” she asked, and he nodded, placing his hand over the lower part of his tunic. 

“Here,” he said, wincing again. He was looking increasingly weak, and Rey was beginning to worry. 

“Maybe I can help,” she said, rubbing her collarbone. “Can I take a look?” 

Ben’s eyes widened a bit. “I don’t mind,” he said quickly. Rey moved closer, standing next to his legs bent over the edge of the bed. Ben locked eyes with her, arching his back up from the bed as he gathered the bottom of his tunic. He slid the thick fabric up his torso, rolling it at his waist. As Ben glanced down his body, Rey saw a large scar at his side, but what caught her attention was his muscular stomach. She almost couldn’t take her eyes away. A spark of heat ran up her body. 

“It’s actually...here,” Ben said, his gaze traveling up to hers as he placed a hand below the hem of the left front of his pants. 

“Okay,” she said, nodding. Her cheeks grew hot. “Um…”

“Here,” Ben said, and Rey stared, frozen in place as he reached down to undo the clasp of his pants. Anxiously, she rolled the bottom hem of her blouse between her fingers, her breath growing shallow. Ben lifted his hips to yank the left side of his pants down, revealing the top half of his charcoal-grey undershorts. His shorts had two small tears, both framed in dark maroon. 

“You’ve been bleeding,” Rey observed, focusing on the task at hand and leaning a little closer. Tentatively, she lowered her hand to the hem of his undershorts. His skin tensed beneath the fabric as she slid the shorts down, revealing a dark red scar. She hovered her fingers over the wound.

“Hm. It looks like this has healed up fine,” she said.

“It’s...below that one,” Ben said.

Rey looked at him, then stared down at the cauterized mark, realization hitting her. _“I_ did this,” she said, hit with a pang of disappointment. “When I fought you the other day–I struck you here with my lightsaber. I remember.”

“It doesn’t hurt now,” Ben assured, “but...the other one does.”

Rey thought she heard Ben swallow as she slid the side of his undershorts lower, revealing the angular bone of his hip and dark discoloration. Ben let out a low hiss as she carefully uncovered the second wound. 

“Oh, Ben...this doesn’t look good,” she exhaled. He had a small, deep puncture wound surrounded by dried blood. The wound appeared to be leaking more blood, along with a thin white fluid. Ben’s skin twitched as Rey rested her fingers on the bruising around his wound, his skin hot and unexpectedly soft. “This is why you feel sick,” Rey realized, meeting his eyes. “Your wound, it’s infected.” 

Ben cleared his throat. “It might have happened when my ship crashed,” he said, rubbing his forehead. “Part of the control board exploded...I think I landed on some metal.”

“Did your ship have any medical supplies?” Rey asked, raising her eyebrows, and Ben shook his head against the bed. Rey swallowed, trying to assess the situation. Without medical treatment, Ben’s condition could go downhill very fast. She’d known of other scavengers on Jakku who had been cut by metal shards in ships and died within a week. Ben’s infection had already had days to set it. Rey’s eyes moistened as she realized this. 

“What is it?” Ben asked, studying her face. 

Rey shook her head, forcing a fake, quick smile. “Nothing,” she said, “you’ll be fine.”

Ben frowned, pushing into her mind and catching her defenses down. “You’re lying,” he said. “You’ve seen this before.”

“I need to clean that,” Rey said, ignoring him and turning away. Outside the hut, she used her lightsaber to burn off a corner of Ben’s cape from where it still lay draped over the fish carcass. She soaked the leathery fabric in the rainwater that had pooled in a dip in the cape. 

Rey didn’t look at Ben as she reentered the hut. Gently, she pressed the wet fabric to his wound, and he flinched. “I’m being as gentle as I can,” she said, glancing across at him. She dabbed the fluids from Ben’s wound, then patted the area dry before tossing the fabric outside. She tore off another piece of fabric from Ben’s cape and used it to scoop up some of the collected rainwater. 

“Here, Ben, sit up,” she said, carrying the pouch of water to him. “You need to drink.” Ben propped himself up and letting out a low hiss. Ben met her eyes as she stood over him and brought the pouch to his mouth, tilting it slowly so he could drink. He shut his eyes hard as he finished, wincing, and water drizzled down his chin as Rey removed the empty fabric. Without thinking, Rey swiped the water from below his mouth with her thumb. 

She backed away, averting her gaze and moving to the bottom edge of the bed. She looked down at his exposed wound, seeing a new trail of bright red blood. She needed to stop the bleeding. She looked at the cauterized mark above the puncture wound, a light blinking on in her mind. She lifted her saber hilt from the ground, hesitantly meeting Ben’s searching gaze from across the bed. 

“Ben, I need to seal your wound, otherwise it isn’t going to heal,” she explained, palming her saber anxiously. 

Ben’s brows lowered. “No...there has to be a better way,” he dissent. Rey pressed her mouth into a fine line, and Ben’s jaw tightened. 

“You’ve been losing blood since you crashed on the island. This is the _only_ way.” She eyed the fabric from the cape lying next to his shoulder. “Take that, and bite down on it.”

“Kriff…” Ben quivered, hesitantly taking the fabric into his hand. He swallowed, his eyes widening. “Just...be careful where you aim that, will you?” he said, nodding to her lightsaber. 

Rey’s cheeks heated. “I will,” she said, biting her lip. Ben’s dark eyes bored into hers, and he exhaled a shaking breath, giving her a nod. 

Rey nodded back and watched as Ben lowered his head to the bed. 

“Count down before you do it,” he instructed, stuffing the thick wad of fabric into his mouth. 

Rey noticed Ben flinch as she ignited her saber above him. With her free hand, Rey hooked a finger under the hem of his snug shorts, feeling his warm skin tighten in anticipation as she drew the fabric below his wound. She read fear in Ben’s eyes, and she felt amazed for a moment, realizing that she had total control over him, that he was leaving himself completely vulnerable to her. He was _trusting_ her. 

“Alright, five...four…” Rey tightened her grip on the saber, focusing her gaze on where she needed to aim it. “Three–” Quickly, she pressed the saber’s tip to his wound, and Ben jolted, letting out a muffled groan. She removed the saber, a residual hiss releasing as the heated plasma left his burnt skin. 

Ben spat the fabric from his mouth, propping himself on an elbow and glaring at her. “You didn’t even count down to one!” he accused, angrily. 

Rey disengaged her saber, setting it beside the fire. Ben was panting, and sweat dripped down his reddened face. “No, I figured it would be best to just get it over with,” she said, looking at him neutrally. As he caught his breath, Ben’s scowl began to fade. Rey watched as he dropped back down to the bed, turning his face away as she approached him. She retrieved the fabric and wet it outside. Rey dabbed the sweat from Ben’s face, and he watched her beneath tired, lowered lids as she tended to him. 

Rey removed her arm guards and unwrapped the fabric from her arms, stretching the long strips of material between her hands. 

“Lift up,” she urged, gesturing, and Ben lifted his hips so she could pull the fabric underneath him. She wrapped the fabric around his hips twice, spreading its edges wide enough to cover both of his wounds. She took a step back to assess her work.

“Rey,” Ben said, and she met his softened gaze. “Thank you.”

 

Rey blinked, giving him a satisfied smile. “You’re welcome.” Her eyes followed his hands as he pulled his undershorts and pants back up his hips. She felt a twinge of disappointment as he rolled his shirt back down his stomach. Ben’s eyes flickered to hers, and Rey let out a quick breath, making sure to keep her thoughts guarded from him. 

As they stared at each other, a tense silence filling the room, Rey’s breathing quickened. Could Ben tell? 

“You need to rest,” Rey huffed, turning and picking up her vest from the floor. She needed space. Air. 

She heard Ben shift on the bed behind her. “I don’t want to rest,” he protested. “Are you leaving?” The disappointment in his deep voice was obvious. 

Rey slid her vest over her shoulders, avoiding his gaze. “I’m going for a walk.” 

In the distance, thunder rumbled, and a few moments later, the patter of light rainfall began to sound on the hut’s roof. Rey looked over her shoulder to see a smug, drowsy smile tug across Ben’s face. 

“I don’t think you’re going anywhere.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rey's mind: What should I do? I'm so confused! What are these feelings? 
> 
> Ben's mind: _**L** is for the way you look at me, **O** is for the only one I see, **V** is very, very...extra-ordinary..._
> 
>  
> 
> I know this was kind of plot-heavy, but I need to build these two up to a place where everything feels right before I can move them forward. But don't worry...good things come to those who wait.


	11. Chapter 11

Rey stared at him, her mouth parting as she tried to decipher the smile on his face. Huffing out a breath, she shifted her gaze to the wooden door in front of her, listening to the rain beating against the rooftop. 

She heard Ben shift suddenly on the bed, and she turned to see him wincing and arching his back away from the bed. 

“Ben, what’s wrong?” she asked concernedly, rushing to the side of the bed. “Ben?” 

Ben flopped back down, squeezing his eyes shut. “My back, I don’t know, it’s–spasming,” he sputtered. His eyes shifted to hers, rounded in alarm. Somehow, Rey sensed that he was in pain. 

Ben’s chest heaved as he caught his breath. “I know you’ve seen scavengers on Jakku come down with this infection. Was this one of their symptoms?” he asked. 

Rey swallowed, a wet, halting sound in the silence. “Yes,” she said quietly. Ben held her gaze, exhaling a long breath. “But you’ll pull through,” she insisted, resting a hand on the edge of the bed. Ben’s expression turned skeptical. He knew just as well as she that was a white lie. 

Rey’s eyes scanned the walls of the hut as she raced to come up with a new topic of conversation. Beside her, Ben strained forward to slide off his boots. Fortunately, as he laid back down, he spoke to her again. 

“Tell me more of your stories from Jakku,” he said, scooting away from her and patting the small, empty space left between them. Rey looked down and, hesitantly, she sat on the edge of the bed, angling herself towards him. 

“Stories from Jakku?” she repeated flatly. 

“Yes. I want to know. Do you have any...happy ones?” he asked, his dark brows raising inquisitively. 

Rey tilted her head and glanced down, tracing circles with her finger on the blanket beneath her. “Hm. Well, I guess I have one,” she mused. “I think the happiest I ever remember being was just a few years ago, when I managed to lug a big ship to Unkar Plutt’s outpost. I had to use a happabore’s help to drag the ship across the desert. You should have seen the look on Unkar’s face when he saw that I’d brought the ship to him. And in exchange, he gave me fifty portions. Fifty!” she exclaimed, smiling at him as she relived her excitement that day. 

Ben didn’t show any signs of enthusiasm in response to her story. Instead, he merely gave her a blank stare. “Don’t tell me that’s the happiest you’ve ever been. Earning portions of dried bread.”

Rey shrugged, her smile fading as she felt a sudden flood of embarrassment. “Well, the happiest that I can remember, yeah,” she nodded. “I don’t think you understand–I got _fifty_ portions,” she defended. “That stockpile lasted me over three weeks!” 

Ben’s stoic expression devolved into a look of silent wonder.

“What, have you never had anything good happen to _you?”_ she asked, raising an annoyed brow. She looked back down at her fingers, continuing to trace patterns on the soft fur. “I wouldn’t be surprised,” she quipped beneath her breath. 

Rey bristled as Ben’s gloved hand slid towards her and grasped her small hand within his. She stared at their joined hands, her heart pounding against her chest. She raised her face, meeting his dark, solemn gaze. She felt paralyzed. 

“You poor, sweet girl,” Ben murmured, rubbing her fingers gently over hers. “You have no idea the pleasures that this universe has to offer.”

Rey frowned, her throat so tight she didn’t know how she was still breathing. “What do you mean?” she swallowed. 

Ben’s eyes were steady, intent, trained on hers. “If I was better, I would show you, right now,” he said. 

Rey’s thoughts swirled in a thick haze as she tried to figure out what he’d meant by that, but the look in his eyes caused an instinctual wave of heat to crash against her cheeks. Feeling as if she were melting beneath the intensity of his gaze, she licked her lips and looked down, pulling her hand from his. 

Just then, Ben jolted in the bed, arching his back upwards and groaning. His reddened face dripped with sweat as he tilted it back into the pillows. Rey leaned towards him, hovering her over him, wishing she could help him in some way. She felt useless. 

Ben sighed as he laid prone, clasping a hand to his forehead and shutting his eyes. “At least this seems to be going quickly. At this rate, I’ll probably be gone within the next day,” he huffed sardonically. 

Rey stared at his profile sharply. _“Ben,”_ she chided. 

“It looks like you got what you wanted,” Ben rasped, the corner of his mouth lifting in a weak smile. He turned his face towards her, opening his eyes. “You got me after all, Scavenger.”

Rey frowned. “That’s not funny, Ben, you know that’s not what I want.”

Ben’s brows shadowed his eyes, sending a shock up her spine. “Isn’t it?”

“No,” she maintained, balling her fists into the bed. “That’s never what I wanted.” Her throat clenched as she studied the now-familiar features of his face. “I want you to live. I...I need you to,” she realized aloud, tears threatening at her eyes. Ben stared at her, releasing a shaking breath. The humor faded from his eyes, and anguish took its place. 

“You don’t need me,” Ben dissented, shaking his head against the pillow. “You’re strong, Rey, you know that. You’ve made it on your own most of your life.”

“But I don’t want to be alone anymore,” Rey choked, shaking her head. She sniffled, dropping her gaze to his gloved hand. She lifted it, methodically sliding the leather from his hand and pressing her thumb into his soft, bare palm. Ben’s hand closed around her finger, and their eyes met again.

Rey leaned forward, towards him, a tear sliding down her cheek as Ben’s hand released from hers and rose to cup her cheek, catching the rolling tear on his finger. Rey pressed her palms onto the blanket between them, lowering and pressing a kiss to his hot, damp forehead. She choked out a sob as she lifted, looking down into his warm, liquid eyes. She held a hand to his cheek in turn, biting her lip and crying softly. 

She kissed his cheek, taking in his familiar, comforting smell. Ben’s hand pushed her straying hair back from her face as she rose again, his lips parting. Rey looked at his inviting mouth, wanting so desperately to kiss him, and she almost did. But if he was leaving her, she couldn’t bear to feel again the soft warmness of his mouth, the overwhelming spark of connection she’d felt last time their lips were locked. Instead, she lowered her face to his chest, burying herself in his chest and collapsing her torso atop his. 

Rey slid her hand from his face to squeeze the fabric of his tunic in her fist. “I don’t want to be alone,” she cried softly, sliding her cheek to rest against the warm crook of his neck. “Don’t leave me, Ben.”

“Rey, look at me,” Ben said, stroking his bare hand through her loose hair. 

Rey propped herself onto her elbows, hovering over his face. With a shock, she saw that Ben’s eyes were reddish and rheumy. Rey bit back another sob, swiping the damp hair from his face. Ben sniffed, reaching his hand up to cup her chin. 

“I won’t leave you,” he said, his thumb skimming across her lower lip. 

“Do you promise?”

Ben hesitated, then gave a resolute nod. “I promise.”

….

Rey awoke atop the slow rise and fall of Ben’s broad chest. She felt a weight across her back–his arm. Slowly, she pressed herself up on the bed, sliding his thick arm from around her. She sucked in a breath as she studied his pallor, illuminated by the sunlight filtering in. His closed eyes were still rimmed with purplish coloring. Even his full lips had lost their reddish hue. If she hadn’t known any better, she would have presumed him dead. 

Rey slid from the bed and was careful not to wake Ben as she prepared two skewers of fish. She noted that they were running low on food; the fish carcass was nearly picked clean. 

“Ben,” she whispered, leaning over the bed. _“Ben,”_ she repeated, squeezing his shoulder with her free hand, and he blinked open his eyes, lifting his face to look up at her beneath heavy lids. 

“Rey,” he greeted, warmth in his raspy voice. 

“Sit up, you need to eat,” Rey prompted, not bothering to ask how he was feeling. His coloring told her enough. 

Ben groaned as he propped himself up against the bed’s wooden frame. He took the food from her hands, and Rey sat on the bed next to him as they both ate. Rey stole glances at him, noticing him wincing as he slowly chewed. 

After Rey had tossed the empty sticks into the dwindling fire, she propped the hut’s wooden door open to allow in the light and fresh air. She brought Ben another pouch of water, settling onto the edge of the bed again and leaving space between them. But the bed was so narrow, there wasn’t more than a few hands’ worth of space separating them. 

Ben handed Rey the empty, wet fabric, and she draped it over the top of the bed’s frame. “Thank you for...everything,” he exhaled, meeting her eyes. “I really don’t deserve this.”

Rey studied his drowsy, pale face. “I just wish I could help you more,” she sighed heavily. 

“You’ve done all that you can,” Ben said, staring up at the ceiling and closing his eyes. “It’s up to the Force now.”

….

Rey watched with a helpless, heavy heart as Ben’s condition worsened throughout the day. Occasionally, he thrashed in bed, undergoing painful spasms in his back. More than once, she’d had to leave the hut to take short walks outside, unable to watch him and listen to his pained groans. 

While they ate lunch, they’d made light conversation by discussing Rey’s training under Luke, but their talk was broken up by another of Ben’s spasmodic episodes. Ben had continued by telling that her he’d train her instead when he got better, but the conversation had been forced to end there, as the unspoken question of whether he’d get better at all hung in the air. 

By the time the sun was going down on the horizon, Rey returned to the hut again from a walk to restock the fire and make them dinner. She was standing next to the fire, scraping a new tally mark into the wall when Ben spoke up from behind her. 

“Rey, I want you to know something,” he said. Rey turned, setting the rock on the ground and approaching the side of the bed. As she settled back onto its edge, her heart rose to her throat at the sight of his purplish, heavy-lidded eyes. 

“What is it?” she asked, quietly. 

Ben took in a deep breath, as if building the energy to speak. “No one’s ever been able to read my mind before,” he said. “No one but you.”

Rey lowered her own brows in confusion. “So?” 

“So, that means something,” he said, his brows lowering in earnestness. “Don’t you think?”

Rey thought, her eyes flitting around his sallow face. “I don’t know. Is that what you think?” 

Ben gave a small, weak, nod. “I think we’re...connected.”

Rey tilted her head. “Connected...through the Force?” she wondered aloud. 

“You feel it, don’t you?” Ben asked, his voice barely a whisper. 

Rey did feel it–somehow, she’d always felt it. It was as if a mysterious, invisible thread had drawn them together. 

Rey nodded, a sudden surge of affection overcoming her. “I do,” she breathed, resting her hand on his shoulder and squeezing it. “I feel it too.”

….

After their last conversation, it hadn’t taken Ben long to fall back asleep. Rey had hovered at his side for nearly an hour after he’d drifted out of consciousness, studying his every facial feature as if she were trying to memorize his sleeping face. Maybe she was, she thought. Maybe she wanted to remember what he looked like after he’d passed on.

Rey brought one of the spare blankets with her outside into the chill night air as she trekked past the site of Ben’s crashed shuttle. She settled at the edge of their grassy hill, leaning against a boulder and bundling herself in the blanket. She stared up at the planet’s tiny blue moon, thinking about Ben. About her family. Her past. The Force.

She pressed her open palms to her face, breathing in deeply the frigid night air. She lowered her palms to her knees, closing her eyes and centering her mind, as Luke had tried to teach her to do. She felt the Force, the pull of it behind her, where Ben lay asleep. She focused her thoughts, yearning for the Force to heal Ben, to make him better and return him to his normal self–the self she was still getting to know, the one she felt bound to. 

Through the Force, Rey sensed a great potential between she and Ben, but of what kind, she had yet to figure out. Her skin felt warm and tingly all over again, and she felt emboldened. She wanted Ben to live, to hold her, to _kiss_ her, to look at her the way he always did. She didn’t feel weak for wanting this anymore, for wanting him. 

She was starting to recognize that he wasn’t her weakness at all; he was her strength. 

….

Rey jolted awake, lifting her cheek from where it had been resting against the the boulder beside her. She watched her white breath gusting from her mouth and blinked against the early morning sun, feeling a sense of awe at the beautiful glow it cast across the dark blue waters. Lowering her gaze, her eyes caught on tiny blue and purple flowers at her feet, gently unfurling and swaying in the morning breeze.

 _Maybe, just maybe..._ she thought to herself, but then shook her head at the ground, her throat tightening. She couldn’t allow herself to listen to the whims of her heart, and she couldn’t be hopeful. No, she needed to be practical and face the truth: Ben was never coming back. 

But Rey felt a sudden tug within her, a liveliness that made her heart skip a beat, and she swivelled over her shoulder. 

Across the plain of the hill stood Ben, wrapped in a blanket. Even from this distance she recognized the sleepy smile plastered on his face. 

“It–it’s you...Ben, you’re alive!” she bursted, scrambling to her feet and rushing towards him. Ben let out a soft grunt as she barreled into him and threw her arms around his waist. Rey blinked up at him, smiling at the surprise on his face. “But...how?” she asked, stunned. 

Ben gave her a weak smile. “I made you a promise,” he said, “and I intend to keep it.”

Rey’s mouth parted, wanting to express to him her joy, but she hadn’t the words. She couldn’t speak, only feel. And _feel,_ she did. 

Ben held her gaze as Rey reached a hand to his warm, pink cheek. She slid her fingers up into his damp hair and pulled his face down to hers in a deep kiss. She smiled against Ben’s mouth as he wrapped his arms around her, lifting her feet from the ground and sending her heart fluttering.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Still needing to build up their relationship, but we're almost to the good stuff...so close...
> 
> P.S. Did any of you watch the movie _Thumbelina_ when you were a kid?
> 
> P.P.S. I may or may not have taken inspiration for the last scene in this chapter from a scene towards the end of that movie when Thumbelina reunites with the fairy prince
> 
>  
> 
>  
> 
> P.P.P.S. I did. BYE


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the brief hiatus, I was distracted by TLJ and this awful thing called Reality. Let's dive back in!

“Mm...ouch,” Ben mumbled against Rey’s mouth, lowering her to her feet. Rey dropped her hands to her sides as Ben pressed a hand to his back, wincing.

“You’re still hurting,” Rey observed, her mind spinning from the kiss. 

Ben gazed down at her, his eyes drowsy and soft. “But I’m feeling better, thanks to your help,” he said. 

“You really shouldn’t be out here in the cold,” Rey said, pressing a hand to his chest and urging him backwards into the hut. As she pushed him to the doorway, she stopped. “I’ll cook us some breakfast,” she said, lowering her hand, and Ben nodded. 

As he went back inside, Rey crouched at the ravaged fish carcass and pulled off two chunks of meat. She wiped her hands of the thick fish oils on the grass. 

Ben sat on the bottom edge of the bed, quietly watching Rey as she cooked the fish. Rey blew steam from the two sticks of food as she rose, and Ben scooted over on the bed’s edge, looking at her expectantly. Rey met his eyes, her breath catching for a moment as she settled down beside him. 

“I wonder if we’ll ever be able to catch anything besides fish,” Ben said as Rey handed him a skewer. “If I have to eat fish for one more meal, I don’t know if I’ll be able to keep it down,” he said, taking a bite and jutting his head forward in an imitation of nausea. 

Rey smiled, twirling her stick between her hands as she chewed. “There are some other things to eat around here. But this is really good, I don’t know why you’re complaining.” 

“I’m not complaining,” Ben protested quickly. “But I guess I also didn’t grow up eating the same thing for every meal.”

Rey glanced at him. “Well, food is food. It’s energy. I don’t think of it as anything special.” She tilted her head, studying the last bite of fish left on her skewer. 

“That’s because you haven’t even had a taste of good food yet,” Ben said. “Or of a lot of things, it seems,” he added more quietly. 

Rey glanced at him askance, her skin prickling as Ben leaned his leg against hers. She lowered her gaze, and her breathing became shallow. Trying to distract herself, she tossed her stick into the fire before them. Ben’s gaze followed. 

“Did you stay out there all night?” he asked, his voice hushed. He kept his eyes to the fire. 

Rey studied his profile. It was regal, she thought. Handsome. “I didn’t think you were going to make it through the night,” she said, barely raising her voice above a whisper. “I couldn’t bring myself to watch…”

The licking flames in the alcove filled the space between them for a few moments. “How did you do it?” Ben asked, turning his face to her. 

Rey pressed her brows together. “Do what?” 

“Heal me,” he said, searching her eyes. “I felt you strongly through the Force, all night. I know how to use Force-healing, but my illness was more advanced than I knew how to treat. So...how did you do it?”

Rey stared at him, trying to understand. Had she really healed him? “I mean…” She swallowed, shrugged. “I just thought about the Force,” she stated.

Ben nodded, his eyes flitting between hers and the lower portion of her face. “Maybe it was…”

“Our...connection?” she breathed. Her heart thrummed as she said it.

“Yes,” Ben said softly, “our connection.” He looked down, sliding his bare hand to hers and clasping it gently. “Our bond.” Rey inhaled, looking down at their joined hands. She traced her thumb over his, marveling at how large his hand was, how warm and good it felt clasping hers. Ben increased his pressure on her hand, and Rey lifted her gaze. 

Ben’s dark eyes were swimming, and Rey felt as if an invisible thread were drawing them together. Slowly, they leaned towards one another. 

Rey released a quick breath just as Ben closed the distance between them, kissing her gently. He exhaled deeply through his nose, his breath feathering her face as he squeezed her hand. Parting his lips from hers, Ben ghosted his fingers along her jawline, gazing at her underneath low lids. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he murmured, tracing his fingers down the slope of her pulsing neck. 

Rey shivered at his light touch, flushing with warmth at his words. _Beautiful._ He thought of her, a lowly scavenger from Jakku, as...beautiful?

Ben’s brows lowered, darkening his gaze. “How could I not?” he breathed, catching her thoughts. His warm palm cupped her cheek. “You have no idea, do you?” His eyes flickered between hers, and he pressed another soft kiss to her lips. “Let me convince you.”

Ben kissed her again, holding her face to his and sliding his fingertips into her hairline. His gloved palm pressed her thigh, and a shock of heat coursed up Rey’s body, despite the layers of leather and fabric separating his touch from her tingling skin. Her racing thoughts dissolved into nothingness as he kissed her deeper, his tongue teasing between her lips. She gripped his shoulder, and his gloved hand slid from her thigh to her waist in response. 

Then, Ben was breaking their contact and sliding backwards on the bed, sliding his bare hand around her back and dragging her with him. He leaned against the bed frame, and Rey sat on her heels beside his extended legs, biting her lip as he pulled her into him. She pressed a hand to his heaving chest, knowing that he should be resting instead of doing this, he was still sick, but she couldn’t think anymore as kissed her again. Instead of pushing him away, Rey found herself gripping the thick fabric of his tunic, drawing herself against him. Ben hooked a hand underneath the crook of her bent knee, gripping her leg and pulling her astride him. 

Rey hesitated against his parted mouth, looking into his dark eyes as she settled atop him. Ben held her gaze, languidly tossing away his remaining glove. With a long exhale, he gripped her hips and pulled her deeper into his lap. Rey felt a hard prod against her belly, and she flushed with realization. Ben closed his eyes and kissed her hotly, tangling his fingers through her hair, gently yanking and loosening her lower bun.

Ben’s fingers stroked down through her hair as his lips traced down the side of her chin. He pressed a kiss just beneath her her jawline, awakening sparking tendrils of energy that shot straight down Rey’s center. Rey let out a quick breath as he tugged her leg around his hip. 

“Doesn’t this hurt you?” Rey breathed, thinking about her thigh pressing against the burns on his hip. 

“This is worth the pain,” he hummed against her neck. “Mm, so worth it.”

Rey’s mouth parted wide as Ben kissed her neck again, and she grew increasingly aware of a throbbing sensation below. As his hot mouth pressed to her skin again, she let out a soft, involuntary sound and raised a hand to the back of his head, taking hold of his thick, soft hair. Ben bent his head as he kissed slowly down her neck, causing her to shift and wiggle atop him. Ben released a low groan against the base of her neck, sucking at her skin and causing her to shiver. His large hands slid her vest from her shoulders, and as it fell to the bed behind her, Ben’s fingers traced down her arms, leaving trails of goosebumps in their wake. 

“Beautiful,” he breathed, rising his face to meet her eyes. Rey panted against his mouth, quivering and gripping the back of his neck. Her entire body was throbbing now, filled with a flustering urgency that she wasn’t sure whether to fear or give in to. 

Ben leaned in to kiss her again, but Rey, unthinkingly, pressed a hand to his mouth.

“You should rest,” she blurted. 

Ben frowned, lowering her hand from his lips. “Kriff rest,” he said, looking down at her hand and bringing it back to his mouth. He kissed her fingertips, one at a time, absorbing himself in the activity. 

Rey’s insides melted, pooling into a hot bundle in her lower belly while she watched him. As Ben lowered her smallest finger from his mouth, he locked eyes with her.

“You don’t want me to stop,” he said matter-of-factly. He intertwined his fingers over top hers, opening her hand and pressing a kiss to her palm. “Do you?” He was in her mind, feeding on her thoughts, and she was too dazed to push him out. She couldn’t lie to him. 

“I want you to get better,” she deflected, drawing her hand from his. “You’re still weak.” 

Ben sighed, reaching for her as she slid from his lap and the bed. “At least stay here, with me,” he said stubbornly, reaching out and catching the end of her blouse. 

Rey looked down at his hand. She couldn’t imagine that laying in bed with him would be very restful for either of them. 

“No,” she said. She removed his grip from her shirt, but he snatched her hand. 

“There isn’t anything on this island that’s going to keep you from me. You can’t fight it,” he darkly, leaning towards her and lowering his brows. “So where are you going?”

Struck by his arrogance, Rey snapped her hand back defiantly. “To scavenge,” she said. She held his balked gaze a moment before turning and managing to force her unsteady legs to carry her to the outside.   
...

Ben awoke to orangish light tumbling in through the hut’s opening door. He shifted, propping himself up against the bed’s frame as Rey walked in carrying a small sack made from the fabric of his cape. That thing had turned out to be very useful, he mused. 

He rubbed his eyes, feeling that much of his former strength had returned. He was amazed that he’d managed to fall asleep after what happened earlier. A small smile crossed his face as lowered his fists and fixed his gaze on Rey. 

“What did you manage to find, Scavenger?” he asked, and Rey faced him. “A porg?” 

Rey shook her head, appearing to be fight back a smile. “No, not a porg. I collected some plants and berries,” she said, lowering her sack to the end of the bed near his sock-clad feet. “You said you were sick of fish, and I figured it would probably be best for you to eat some different things to help you heal.”

Ben was silent for a moment, touched. “You didn’t say anything about there being plants and berries to eat here,” he said. 

Rey propped a hand on her hip. “What did you think the porgs ate? The grass?”

Ben shrugged. “For all I know, they’re meat-eaters.” He raised an eyebrow and turned his face to look at her askance. “Are you sure they only eat plants?”

“I’ll let you know if I’m ever attacked by a porg,” she laughed, opening her sack and surveying its contents. 

Ben smiled thoughtfully, watching as Rey gathered a handful of large purple berries. He loved the sound of her laugh. He wished he could hear her laugh more often. 

“Here, eat these,” Rey said, moving around to the side of the bed. 

Ben took the berries into his palm. “You haven’t poisoned them?”

Rey laughed again, softly. “No promises,” she said, popping a berry into her mouth and smiling. A trail of dark juice trailed down her lower lip, and Ben swallowed. He wanted to kiss that berry mouth. 

Rey narrowed her eyes at him, swallowing. She nodded to the untouched berries in his palm. “What are you looking at? Eat,” she ordered, wiping the juice from her lip and turning away. 

Ben shoveled the entire palmful of berries into his mouth. He paused his chewing for a moment to note their tart sweetness. The berries would pair well with a hearty, savory dish and some Corellian wine, he thought. Neither of which he’d find here, of course. 

Rey settled on the side of the bed and handed him more berries. Ben downed them quickly and watched as she methodically ate her own handful, chewing slowly, savoring them. Her back rested lightly against his bent lower legs. Gently, Ben knocked his knee against her back, and she turned to look at him. Her lips were stained a dark, deep mauve, and Ben exhaled deeply. 

Rey contorted her face, then puffed out an amused breath. “Your mouth,” she laughed, covering her own. Ben frowned, vexed. “It’s _purple.”_

“So is yours,” he retorted. He leaned forward and took hold of her arm, and she stopped laughing as he hovered before her face. “Let me help you with that,” he said, looking down at her mouth. He kissed her, sucking the sweet flavor from her round lower lip. He kissed her again and pressed his tongue between her lips, brushing against hers and letting out a low hum.

Ben drew her into him, wrapping his arms around her waist and settling back against the bed frame. Rey began to stretch her leg across his, but he tightened his arms around her and pushed her onto her back. Rey’s eyes widened as he stayed propped himself above her, the ends of his hair gracing her cheeks. Her round hazel eyes betrayed a look of unsureness. 

“What did I call you earlier?” Ben asked her, stroking his thumb down her lower lip. “Remind me.”

Rey bit her lip where he’d touched it. “I don’t remember,” she said sheepishly. 

“Yes you do,” he pressed. He lowered his head, bending his face below her jaw and kissing her there. He felt her warm skin tense beneath his mouth, and he heard her breath quicken. “Tell me,” he breathed against her ear. 

Rey made a strangled sound as he kissed her neck again, pressing his teeth gently into her skin. “Tell me, Rey,” he repeated. “What are you?” 

“Beautiful,” she huffed, a hand gripping his upper arm. 

Ben skimmed his teeth down her flushed neck, gently lowering his hips atop hers. “I didn’t hear you.” 

“Beautiful,” she said, a little louder. Her fingers dug into the fabric of his ribbed sleeve.

“Mm, that’s right,” he hummed, lifting his face to hers. He kissed her lips, slowly. “I’ve thought of another one.” 

Rey swallowed. “What’s that?” 

“Delicious.” 

Rey’s brows knitted together, and she burst out with a laugh. “What? As if I’m something to eat!” 

Ben raised an eyebrow, keeping himself from smiling. He looked down at her appraisingly. “Aren’t you?”

Rey’s smile remained, but her expression muted. A hesitant, probing look came into her eyes. 

_Ah,_ Ben thought to himself. _So she isn’t fully versed in the ways of the world._ He kissed her gently, allowing his lips to linger against hers. 

“Ben,” she breathed, pressing a hand to his chest. 

“Yes?”

Rey’s cheeks reddened. “I–I need to go outside,” she said, a sense of urgency in her voice. Ben nodded and rolled onto his back, watching questiongly as she slid from the bed and left the hut. 

….

Rey peed behind a boulder far behind the hut, shivering from exposure in the chill evening air. She attempted to clean herself with a leaf, but she couldn’t seem to rid herself of the slick wetness between her thighs. She’d grown increasingly aware of this dampness as Ben had been on top of her and, embarrassed that she’d somehow wet herself, she’d had to bolt out of the hut. Now, her underwear had been left damp, nearly soaking through to her pants. 

Rey hitched her underwear and pants back up and made her way back to the hut, pondering her predicament and attempting to calm her breath. She thought about Ben’s words, the focused intent in his dark eyes that left her questioning what he really wanted from her. Of course, on an instinctual level, she had a sense of what Ben wanted. But she didn’t know if she could fulfill that want. 

He’d called her beautiful. _Delicious._ Well, that had been a joke, but his words had brought goosebumps to her skin. Even so, she couldn’t help but shy away from his adoration. She didn’t feel womanly, not in the way he seemed to view her. She still viewed herself as a girl, a scrappy junk scavenger from Jakku. 

What could Ben feel for her past a fleeting physical interest? Certainly, once he got what he wanted, his interest would fade, and he wouldn’t have need for her anymore. She’d learned enough from other people throughout her life that relationships of any kind were only temporary. Her parents, Luke, and even Finn had proved that to her, when he’d tried to leave her to escape the First Order to the Outer Rim. Even the Resistance hadn’t seemed to know what to do with her, and she’d been shuffled off to find Luke. Rey knew that she could only ever rely on herself. She couldn’t– _wouldn’t_ allow herself to believe that Ben would be any different than the others. 

Rey passed back through the many stone piles and spotted porg sitting atop one. “Hello,” she greeted, noticing a dark spot above one its eyes. As if in response, the porg chirped and flailed its wings. Rey recognized the spot on its face and realized that it was the porg that Ben had been preparing to eat. 

“Ben, your porg is outside,” Rey said as she reentered the hut. 

“My porg?” he asked, his face puzzled. 

“Yes, the one you captured to eat,” she said, standing at the bottom of the bed and folding her arms. “I think it’s living in one of those brick piles.”

“I see,” Ben said, studying her. He straightened against the bed frame. “Is everything...okay?” he asked, gently.

Rey nodded. “Yes,” she said, then bit her lip. Her insides were swimming, and she felt dizzy. Overwhelmed. Tired. Ben continued to stare at her, but she didn’t elaborate. 

“Do you want to just...talk?” he asked, placing his hand on the small open space beside him. 

Rey moved around the bed and settled down beside Ben. The bed was so narrow she was forced to lay against his side. Ben slid his arm behind her, holding her against him. 

“I think we should name it,” Rey said, looking ahead at the fire and trying not to think about the secure comfort of his arm around her. 

“Name what?” Ben asked, looking at her. 

“Your porg. It needs a name.” 

Ben paused. “I have one,” he offered. “Dinner.” 

“Ben!” Rey shoved at his chest, feeling his deep chuckle through his tunic. 

“Alright, alright,” Ben said, holding her closer and tracing his fingers lazily up and down her arm. Rey quivered at his touch. “Well, is it a boy or girl?” he asked. “Do they even have genders?”

“They do,” Rey said, and continued on without thinking. “When I first got to the island, I saw them–” she cut herself off. 

“You saw them what?” 

Rey’s cheeks flashed with heat. “I–Nothing.”

“You saw them courting?” he asked. “Mating?”

Rey exhaled. “Yes,” she admitted. “Mating.”

Ben released a low chuckle, but fortunately, he let the topic slide. “You know, yesterday, when I told you I would train you…”

“Yes?” Rey turned her face, looking up him and finding herself studying his features. 

“The offer’s still on the table,” he said, running his free hand through his hair and mussing it. “When I’m well enough, of course.”

Rey bit her lip a moment, conflicted. If only Luke knew she was considering learning the ways of the Force from his fallen nephew. “What would you teach me, the Dark Side?” she asked. 

Ben shook his head, then shrugged. “If you want me to. I could teach you...everything.”

“Everything,” she repeated. “Is it possible to learn both the Light and the Dark?” 

“I did,” Ben said, his gaze shifting and growing distant. “For better or for worse.”

Rey thought for a few moments, reflecting on Luke’s fear of training her. She couldn’t help but feel a twinge of curiosity about the verboten Dark Side. Maybe more than a twinge. “I think you should just teach me all that you know.”

Ben looked down at her, locking eyes with her and nodding gently. “Okay. I will.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> _Did_ Ben let the topic slide, though? 
> 
> Poor Rey's still feeling confused about her body. She seems to only understand the very basics of...erm, "mating." But, lucky her, looks like she has a willing teacher who can help clear things up!
> 
> Also, side note, I have some definite plot bunnies hopping around in my mind for this fic, but if any of you ever want to throw out ideas or plot suggestions of any kind, I'm all ears! Not promising I'll use them, but I'd love to hear them! I can already tell this fic is going to end up being longer than I had initially planned...*Sigh*


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a very long chapter, but I'll make up for that and more in the next one.

Ben’s eyes shot open in the dim firelight of the hut, his chest heaving. He blinked hard, feeling sweat trickling down his forehead and a familiar hardness down below. He wished he hadn’t woken–he’d just been in the middle of a particularly intense dream involving Rey. Though, this was nothing new; he’d had many of these dreams since he’d first encountered her. 

Ben rolled onto his back, looking to his other side and expecting to find Rey, but he was hit with a pang of disappointment when all he saw was an empty sliver of bed. When had she left? 

Ben propped himself up and let out a relieved sigh to see her sitting before the fire on the ground, at the end of the bed. Rey must have heard him, for she turned her head and looked back at him.

“You okay?” she asked, her brows raising. “You look like you’ve just had a nightmare.”

Ben ran a hand through his wild hair self-consciously. “Yeah,” he huffed, his cheeks growing hot. “A nightmare.”

Rey rose to her feet and approached the end of the bed with two skewers of fish. “I made breakfast,” she said, handing him a skewer and settling on the side of the bed. “Do you want to talk about your dream?”

Ben shook his head quickly. “No, no, I don’t,” he said, and Rey frowned. Ben looked down and focused on eating his food. “Did you sleep well?” he asked, hoping she would let the topic drop. 

“Yeah...I did,” she said, looking at him neutrally. 

Ben vaguely remembered her curled into his chest during the night. That was probably why his dreams had been so...vivid. 

“So, are you feeling better today?” Rey asked.

Ben paused his chewing, considering. “Yes,” he said. “Actually, I feel...great.” He felt well-rested; they must have slept late into the day. “It would be good for me to get out of bed and exercise.”

Rey smiled at him. “I’m glad,” she said, twirling her skewer between her hands.“Well, that was the last of the fish.” She stood and tossed her stick into the fire. “We’ll have to try and catch another later, after my training. If you’re well enough for that.”

Ben swallowed his last bite of food. “Your training? Oh, right,” he remembered. He noticed that already had on her belt and saber, and her hair had been arranged into its original three knots. Her hair looked cute like that, but he had liked seeing some of her hair loosed from the knots. Ben studied her, realizing he’d never seen all of her hair down before. 

“Well...come outside when you’re feeling up for it,” Rey said, shifting on her feet. She gave him a soft smile before turning out of the hut. 

Ben reached below the blankets to make sure his pants weren’t tenting, and he almost tripped over the bunched blankets as he scrambled out of bed to fetch his saber. 

Outside, Ben found Rey bending over and touching her boots. As she rose, Ben looked at her questioningly. 

“What?” she asked, looking serious. “I’m stretching. Warming up.” 

Ben fought back a smile; Rey’s eagerness was palpable. “Alright, Scavenger...How about we start with your footwork. Ignite your saber.”

Rey did as she was told, and she held the blue lightsaber before her, gripping it tightly with both hands. Ben ignited his own crackling saber and held it parallel to hers. 

“Okay, so, first of all, if you’re in a deadlock with someone else’s weapon like this–” he tilted his saber to hers and began applying pressure “–you want to keep your feet wide apart to keep your balance.”

“Okay,” Rey said, widening her stance and pressing her saber against his. The joined plasma hissed between them. “So, like when you had me at the cliff’s edge on Starkiller?” 

“Uh–Yes. Exactly,” he said, then lowered his saber. His heart was beating crazily in his chest, but he’d barely even done anything. Maybe it was his nerves, he thought begrudgingly. He paused to think for a moment, looking at Rey. “You know, I’ve never taught anyone about all of this before,” he said. “I don’t know that I’ll be that great at explaining things.” 

“That’s alright,” Rey said. “Maybe…” She disengaged her saber. “Maybe to start, if it’s easier, you can show me how to do things, and I’ll watch,” she suggested. 

Ben chewed the inside of his lip, then nodded. “Okay, that’s a good idea.” 

Ben did his best to explain himself as he demonstrated how to do some basic hits with the lightsaber. He swung his saber through the air, jabbing at an invisible enemy. It felt good to stretch his limbs and work his muscles, and the island’s cool ocean breeze felt nice as it blew through his hair. Rey watched him intently as he demonstrated maneuvers nodding every so often to indicate her understanding.

Maybe it was just Ben’s imagination, but he thought he saw a gleam of admiration in Rey’s eyes. This emboldened him, and he began incorporating a few spins of his saber into his hits. 

“What’s the purpose of that?” Rey asked. 

Ben looked down at his crackling saber, feeling a line of sweat sliding down from his hairline. “Of what?” 

“The spins,” she said. “The way you twirl your lightsaber around.” 

“I…” Ben bit his lip, shaking his head. “It’s just something I’ve always done.”

“I like it,” Rey said, smiling, and he looked at her with brows raised. “You’ll have to show me how to do it sometime.”

Ben nodded. “I will.” 

Rey gestured towards his lightsaber. “Do you mind if I give it a go?” 

Ben stepped towards her, disengaging his saber and extending it to her sideways. “Please do,” he said. “I mean, go ahead.” 

Rey took his saber into her small hands, adjusting her grip. “It’s so big,” she said, turning the weapon to study it. 

Ben swallowed. “I...guess it is.” His throat went dry as he watched Rey ignite his saber, the crackling red plasma leaving a red glow beneath the curve of her face. 

“I’ve always wondered, how do you keep from burning your own hand off?” Rey asked, turning and dipping the saber in slow arcs before her. 

“It took some practice to get used to. Just–be careful,” Ben urged, reaching a palm out in caution as she struck the saber hard at the air. 

“I really like this,” Rey said, smiling. She swiped the crackling saber through the air again. She faced a brick pile and rose the saber high above her head, then struck the weapon down through it. The red beams of plasma hissed and sparked as they sliced cleanly through the bricks. 

Ben felt a swell of pride, but the feeling vanished as Rey cut into the pile again, twisting the saber and releasing a hiss of her own through her teeth. 

“Ow!” she exclaimed, disengaging and dropping the saber to the grass. 

“Rey,” Ben said concernedly, rushing to her side. He took her wrist in his grasp and observed the small maroon burn on her skin. “I told you to be careful,” he scolded. “You could have lost a hand.”

“But I didn’t,” she said stubbornly, and nodded down at his saber hilt. “I want to try again.” She attempted to slip her wrist away, but Ben tightened his grip. 

“I think that’s enough training for today,” he said, and a frown settled on Rey’s face. Ben sighed, looking down at her wound. “I guess I could show you one more thing,” he relented. 

Rey watched intently as he cradled her wrist in one hand and hovered his other just over her wound. Ben closed his eyes and focused on the Force. A minute later, he blinked his eyes open as he heard Rey inhale a small gasp. 

“It’s gone,” she marveled, staring down at her bare wrist. 

Ben tilted her arm, surveying his work. Satisfied, he brought her wrist to his mouth and pressed a gentle kiss to her skin. As Ben opened his eyes and lowered her wrist, he watched Rey’s cheeks turn rosy. 

“Thank you, Ben,” she said, her voice soft. She sounded genuinely thankful, and even a little surprised. 

“I’m only returning the favor,” he said, looking down into her hazel eyes. Rey focused on him as he let his gaze flicker between her eyes and lips, and he took a step closer so that their chests were almost touching. He brought his hand to her cheek and kissed her, and his chest swelled as Rey kissed him back, raising her hand to grip his sleeve. Ben lingered against her lips, meeting Rey’s low-lidded gaze. Her lips felt so amazing against his, he couldn’t fathom what it would feel like to–

Ben straightened and Rey turned as a squawk sounded behind them. Ben frowned past Rey to see a porg standing in the grass, flapping its wings. 

“Your porg is back,” Rey stated matter-of-factly. 

“So it is,” Ben said dryly, stepping slowly around Rey. He stood over the creature, glaring down into its irritatingly large black eyes. He had the urge to crush it with the Force.

“Ben,” Rey chided, stepping to his side. Ben mentally berated himself for not closing off his thoughts. “Don’t hurt it.” 

Ben sighed. “I won’t.” The porg shook and fluffed its feathers, and then it was waddling casually back through the brick piles. It had to be the most vulnerable-looking creature he’d ever seen. “But I _am_ hungry...” he trailed. 

“We just ate two hours ago,” Rey said, propping her hands on her hips. “On Jakku, most days I didn’t get to eat more than one portion a day, you know.”

“That’s depressing. Really, it is,” he said, earnestly. “If you let me cook that porg, I’ll show you what it means to eat well.”

Rey huffed and rolled her eyes. “C’mon, let’s go try to catch a fish,” she said, tugging on his sleeve.  
….

Rey helped Ben drag the fishing net out of the cave and out onto the rocky cliff. It had begun to rain as they’d made their way down the hill, and now it fell in fat, cold drops. Wind-blown white caps formed on the ocean’s horizon. 

“Let’s do this before the lightning starts,” Ben said, looking up at the dark grey sky. The wind blew his dark hair across his forehead. A few moments later, thunder sounded overhead, and a bolt of lightning struck down to the ground not far behind them. “Well, kriff.”

“Let’s hurry,” Rey said, giving him a serious look. She dragged the net towards the cliff’s edge, pausing a moment to brush stray strands of hair from her eyes. Above them, thunder pealed again. 

“Rey, be careful,” Ben urged, moving towards her. “Let me do that.”

“No, I’ve got it,” she assured, gathering the net and tossing it over the cliff. The rope line began to slide over the cliff’s edge, pulled by the weight of the net. 

“Rey–”

Rey felt the rope tighten around her ankle, and she had no time to react as the rope yanked her onto her stomach. She stared across at Ben with wide eyes as the rope dragged her backwards across the smooth rock, and she let out a yelp as she was pulled off of the cliff’s edge. 

Rey gasped as she was free-falling through the air with the raindrops around her, the sounds of the waves below growing louder. Then, with a thick _splash_ and a frozen shock, she was submerged into darkness. Shocked by the frozen water, she gulped, swallowing a mouthful of it. _I can’t swim,_ she thought to herself, panic rising within her. _Air. I need air._ She flailed her limbs shut her eyes hard at the sting of the cold and the burning in her lungs. She was only vaguely aware of a faint crash in the water near her as she swallowed again and receded from consciousness. 

….

“Rey, breathe, c-come on, _breathe.”_

Rey heard a distant, quivering voice. Something was pummeling her chest, and she contorted her face. Her throat tightened, and then she was being propped up as liquid coursed up her insides and ejected from her mouth. She coughed and sputtered, reaching a hand out and feeling a wet sleeve to grip onto. Ben’s sleeve.

“That’s it, that’s-s it,” she heard, and she felt Ben patting her on the back. She squeezed his arm, gasping for air and wincing at the burning of her skin. 

“It hurts,” she mewled, and began to shiver, violently. Her teeth clattered as she was abruptly lifted from the wet ground. “It _hurts.”_

“I know,” Ben said, his voice above her. “Need to g-get warm.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor them :/ 
> 
> Anyone out there know the fastest way that they can get warm? Anyone?
> 
> * * Update * *
> 
> This week is going to be busy for me, so I probably won't get out the next chapter for another 6-7 days. I promise I will make the wait worthwhile. Thanks for your patience!


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been prioritizing real work over fan fiction as of late, much to your annoyance, I'm well aware. You've been screeching at me like little parrots in my ears. Lovely little parrots, mind you, and I love writing this story, but I've got to finish school and work to put bread on the table, too, ya know? 
> 
> But here it is, padawans, the chapter we've all been waiting for...yes, that one...so here's an ***NSFW*** warning for those who were mistakenly lead into believing that I would never actually get to a sex scene in this drawn-out story. This is the only warning I'll be giving (aside from the tags, which I will be updating over time). 
> 
> Hope this chapter is at least somewhat worth the wait...

Ben held Rey upright on the edge of the bed with one hand as he removed his belt and soaked tunic with the other. She was shivering hard. Settling next to her, Ben pulled the blanket he’d wrapped around her over his front and held her shuddering body to his chest. 

He’d just relit the fire, so the flames were small and emitted little warmth. Ben focused on the Force to propel heat through his palms, and he pressed one hand to Rey’s wet, clothed back and the other to the side of her face, just as he’d done as he’d rushed her through the rain. The heat from his hands and chest wasn’t much, but it was something. It was likely what had kept her alive on their trek back to the hut.

Ben knew that sharing body heat through direct skin-to-skin contact was the best way to avoid hypothermia–this was one of the survival skills the troopers and officers on Starkiller Base had been taught–but he couldn’t bring himself to remove Rey’s wet clothes. He’d taken off both of their soggy boots as soon he’d gotten inside, but he wasn’t about to strip her naked without her consent. She was unconscious, but he sensed that she was stable enough to pull through. 

She _had_ to. Ben couldn't bring himself to consider the alternative. 

He fussed again with the blanket around Rey, and her teeth began to clatter. He watched her closely, cradling her in his arms as she gradually blinked open her eyes. 

“You’re awake,” he breathed, sighing with relief and rubbing his hand up and down her cold back. If his own lips weren’t so stiff and numb, he’d press a kiss to her blueish mouth. 

Rey scrunched her eyes closed again and pulled at the edges of the blanket. “It b-burns,” she whimpered, shivering hard against him. Ben released his hold on her as she abruptly yanked the blanket off of the both of them.

“Rey, you need to keep warm,” Ben urged, attempting to wrap the fur back around her, but she fought it off like it was on fire. 

“I need it all off. Everything _off,”_ she choked, sliding backwards on the bed. She sat back on her heels and began wrenching her blouse up her stomach as if he weren’t sitting right there in front of her. Ben’s face heated and he leapt to his feet, turning his back to her. 

“I’m not looking,” he assured, focusing down on the fire. He shivered from the cold of the wind sneaking in under the door and the chill of his soaked pants, and he crossed his arms around him in an attempt to keep warm. He watched out of the corner of his eye as Rey’s clothing was tossed aside, piece by piece: first, her cream blouse, then her pants, followed by her underwear. They were light blue.

Behind him, Ben heard the faint creak of the bed. 

“B-Ben,” Rey called weakly. 

Ben shifted on his feet, but he didn’t turn around. “Yes?” 

“Come here,” she urged, and Ben turned to see her buried beneath the blankets. 

Ben sidled to the edge of the bed slowly, his legs stiff and frigid. As he scanned Rey’s pale face, she took hold of his wrist, causing his arm to erupt in goosebumps. 

“Hold me again, I’m s-so cold,” she rasped, pulling him closer and sliding away to make room for him. Ben swallowed, shivering. 

“Your pants are still wet t-too,” Rey observed, looking him up and down. 

“Yes.” Ben placed a free hand on the hem of his soaked trousers. “Do you mind if…”

“N-no,” Rey chattered, letting go of his wrist. 

Ben waited, expecting her to face the other wall, but she didn’t; she just gazed up at him with a quivering lip. Ben looked down and, with heated cheeks, undid the clasp of his pants. He slid the thick fabric down his legs and kicked them aside, still needing relief from his freezing undershorts. 

Glancing sheepishly at Rey, he hooked a finger underneath the remaining fabric, and he heard her quick intake of breath as she appeared to break from some reverie. Rey rolled to face the other way as he bent to slide his shorts down his legs. 

Ben pressed his palm to himself for a few moments, attempting to return some warmth to the base of his pelvis. He then snatched a blanket from atop the bed and, out of modesty, wrapped it around his hips. He slid slowly underneath the covers, being careful to not lift them and expose Rey. 

As he tucked the blankets to his chest, Rey rolled towards him and slid an arm across his chest, pressing her bare, shivering front against his side underneath the blankets. Ben froze and looked down at the top of her head, trying to wrap his mind around this. She was naked–naked!–and cuddled into his side, in bed, with only a thin strip of blanket around his hips separating them. He was grateful that he was too cold to have a hard-on. 

Ben rolled onto his right side to face Rey, and she buried her face gratefully into his chest, seeking his warmth. Ben pulled her shivering body tightly into his, sliding his lower arm arm beneath her neck to cradle her head. His breathing quickened, and he wondered if Rey noticed the spike in his heartbeat. He was well aware of her breasts pressing against his chest. He yearned to let his hands roam, but he managed to restrain himself. The fact that he was freezing cold allowed him to maintain some self-restraint. 

Rey nuzzled her face into his chest, and Ben closed his eyes, feeling the warmth brewing between them. He exhaled deeply, contentedly. As he held Rey, he dug his fingers into the cold, bare skin of her back as if holding onto her as for dear life. 

Maybe he was. 

….

Rey awoke to the distinct weight of Ben’s arm draped over her waist and the press of his legs against hers. His large, open palm rested against her stomach, just beneath the curve of her breasts. She fluttered her lids as she heard the slow puffs of his breath at the top of her head and felt the swell of his sweltering chest against her back. 

Ben let out a slow, unconscious sigh, and Rey’s breath hitched as his hand tightened against her stomach, pulling her tighter against his front. She felt locked in place. 

She liked this. 

That now-familiar tingling sensation flooded across Rey’s skin, and a shiver ran through her, but not from being cold. No, she definitely wasn’t cold anymore. Wrapped in Ben’s warm, secure embrace, she felt him– _all_ of him–against her, and her breath came in quick pulses. She felt the fur of a blanket separating the skin of their lower bodies, but that was all that separated them. Rey gripped the edge of the blanket at her collarbone as heat bloomed in her lower belly, channeling outwards, upwards, and down.

Rey stretched her legs against Ben’s, wondering if he’d wake. She didn’t think they’d slept long–a few hours, maybe, so it was probably evening–but she felt quite well-rested, nonetheless. Sleeping against Ben like this was beyond comforting. 

Ben shifted faintly behind her, and Rey’s skin leapt as his hand slid lower on her stomach. The pattern of his breathing changed and he let out a soft, drowsy groan. 

“Ben,” she whispered. “Are you awake?”

“Yes,” he breathed against her hair, his voice deep and throaty. She heard him lick his lips. “Mm, sorry,” he mumbled, sliding an inch back from her and removing his hand from her middle. Rey felt more than a sliver of disappointment. 

She rolled onto her back to look over at Ben. His lids hung low, but his gaze was focused on hers. Rey took in his muscled shoulders peeking above the blanket, his dark, glossy eyes, his beautifully disheveled hair. A hot flash ran down her body, and she exhaled.

“How are you?” Ben asked, his eyes flitting between her own. His throat moved in a thick swallow.

Rey rolled onto her left side to face him. “You...you saved me,” she breathed, propping herself higher against her pillow and clutching the blanket to her collarbone. “I fell into the ocean, off of the cliff, and you–How did you get me out?” She gave him a puzzled look. “How did you get me _here?”_

Ben propped himself up against his own pillow, the blanket sliding down as he moved and revealing more of his chest. For the first time, Rey observed the full extent of the scar she’d marked on him with her saber on Starkiller. She felt a pang of remorse as her eyes traced the faint line snaking down his neck and chest. 

“Did you think I would just watch you drown?” Ben asked, and Rey’s eyes shot back up to his. 

She lowered her brows, trying to recall the events of the afternoon. She struggled; it was all a blur. “You dove in after me, didn't you?” she remembered. “You pulled me out somehow.”

Ben blinked sleepily, his dark eyes tracing over her. “The rope on that fishing net came in handy,” he said. “I caught the end of it before it all fell over and I tied it around a rock so I could get back up.”

“And then...what, you just...climbed back up, with _me?”_ Rey couldn’t keep her admiring gaze from sliding back over his muscled shoulders and chest. She had the distinct impulse to touch him, to trace her fingers down his scar, but she squeezed the blanket’s edge instead. Her eyes rose back up to Ben’s face as a vague memory of him holding her on the cliff’s edge and her spitting up seawater entered her mind. Rey crumpled her tongue in her mouth, recalling the water’s salty, bitter taste. 

“I don’t know what you remember, because you were unconscious for a while, but...I wasn’t the one who decided to remove your clothes,” Ben clarified. A hint of a smile tugged at the corner of his closed mouth. 

Rey’s skin prickled with heat. “Oh. I know,” she said quickly, averting her gaze. Ben’s hand lifted out from underneath the blankets to cup her cheek, and just as Rey was turning her face towards his, Ben leaned over her and pressed a gentle kiss to her mouth. Rey shut her eyes, relishing the warmth of his mouth and his full, soft lips. 

Ben’s mouth parted slowly from hers, and she opened her eyes dazedly. 

“I almost lost you,” Ben breathed, his fingers tracing down her cheek. A strike of fear flashed through his eyes. Rey had never seen this in him before. 

She bit her lip, squeezing the blanket’s edge against her pulsing neck. “I almost lost you, too,” she whispered. 

Ben’s eyes studied hers. “Then no more getting hurt or falling off of cliffs. Okay?” 

Rey gave a nod, smiling softly. “Deal,” she breathed, and Ben kissed her again. His palm slid down her cheek and paused on the side of her neck. Rey released a quivering breath between kisses as his hand continued its way down the curve of her shoulder, his fingers nudging the blanket’s edge. 

Ben pressed his hand to the bed on her other side, hovering his torso over her as he kissed her more deeply. His tongue probed past her lips, and a quiet, needy sound escaped Rey’s mouth. Rey reached her hand up into Ben’s hair, feeling a line of sweat beading at her hairline. 

Ben lowered, kissing below her jawline, and Rey’s breathing grew louder at the sparking sensations of his lips on the thin skin of her neck. She squeezed her thighs together, feeling a throbbing between them. 

Ben sucked on the curve of her neck and Rey shifted, pulling his hair gently and pressing her thighs together as if her life depended on it. She felt frustrated, needy in a way she almost couldn’t take. She wanted him, somehow, some way. 

“Ben,” she breathed, unable to hide the desperation in her voice. 

“Rey,” Ben huffed back against her skin.

The longing in his voice made her throb harder. Ben hooked a finger over the edge of the blanket, sliding it a few inches lower from the base of her neck, and Rey urged his head back to hers. 

Ben’s eyes flitted over her face, their noses brushing lightly. “Should I stop?”  
Rey parted her mouth and shook her head against the bed. “No,” she said. She was dizzy, only vaguely aware of her fingers still twisting the long strands of his hair.

Ben kissed her, inhaling deeply through his nose. Rey opened her eyes as he broke the kiss and sat up beside her. She watched as his side of the blanket slid further down his wide torso, allowing her eyes to trace the muscles of his stomach. 

Ben caught took her wrist in his grasp and Rey’s eyes flickered back up to his. “Do you want this?” he asked throatily, his eyes boring down into hers. Rey inhaled sharply, nearly certain of his implication. Ben pressed her palm flat against his chest. “Me?”

Rey hesitated, fighting her sudden strain of nerves. Ben’s heated chest swelled against her palm, and she felt the heavy thudding of his heart. 

He wanted to have her in full. Rey only knew as much about the act as she’d seen the porgs and the happabores and the other animals do, so she was reticent. But the deep, insufferable throb between her legs blurred her hesitation. 

“Yes,” she told him.

His chest swelled. “You’re sure?” he murmured, releasing her hand and swallowing. Rey nodded, propping herself upright with one hand and keeping the blanket clasped to her chest with the other. 

“I trust you,” Rey whispered, and meant it. She parted her lips, studying him. Ben locked eyes with her, his pupils large disks against their dark hazel-brown borders. 

Rey traced her fingers along her collarbone, her breath quickening under his heavy gaze. Slowly, she released the blanket and glanced down as it slid slowly down her breasts, bunching at the base of her stomach. 

Rey’s cheeks heated as Ben’s eyes took in her body, a low exhale escaping his mouth. He rose his eyes back to hers and rose a trembling hand to her cheek, his fingers tucking her hair behind her ear. Rey inhaled shakily and closed her eyes, leaning into his tender touch. 

She blinked her eyes open for just a moment as Ben leaned forward and kissed her, his lips moving slowly, lingeringly. Rey wrapped a hand around the back of his neck. She reveled in the tingling of her skin as his quivering finger tips traced down the sides of her shoulders, arms, and waist. His fingertips touched her like she was the most delicate, marvelous thing he’d ever encountered. 

She hadn’t expected this level of tenderness from him, and for a moment she didn’t react, she was so overcome with foreign emotions. 

Ben wrapped a hand around her, drawing her closer to him, and she shivered as his other hand slid up to her breast. A breathy sound slid from her mouth as his thumb brushed over the hardened point of her nipple, and her thighs tensed. Soon, both of Ben’s large hands were encasing her breasts, and she let out a whimper as he gently squeezed her. 

As Ben’s mouth traced down her neck, Rey arched her back. Ben’s lips closed on one of her breasts, his tongue rubbing over her nipple. An intense rivulet of energy shot down Rey’s core, and she jolted and gripped his head as he continued sucking at her breast. Ben drew an arm around her lower back, arching her stomach against his. 

“So beautiful,” he huffed, turning his attention to her other breast. He kissed and nipped at the swell of her skin, and Rey bit her lip hard, tilting her head back as the throbbing between her legs escalated into a deep ache. 

“Ben,” she sighed, and he lifted his face to hers, gazing at her with heavy lids. He kissed her fervidly, his giant hands holding the sides of her face. She felt her cheeks redden as his thumbs rested against them. “Ben, I’ve never done this before,” she blurted, and Ben stroked his fingers down her back. Rey melted under his warm gaze and touch. 

“I know,” Ben said, searching her eyes. He traced his right hand down her side, and Rey sucked in a breath as he slid it lower to rest on her thigh. “I’ll be gentle,” he purred, cupping the side of her face and kissing her. Beneath the blankets, his hand rubbed up and down her thigh as they kissed. She still felt it trembling. 

Rey gasped against Ben’s mouth as he wedged his long fingers between her compressed thighs, and, quivering with nerves, she clutched his wide wrist. But her grip loosened as his fingers pressed against her throbbing center, and she shuddered with pleasurable sensations. Ben kissed her slowly as he began working his fingers in small circles, and Rey’s thigh muscles relaxed involuntarily, leaving more room for his large hand between them. 

Ben’s hot mouth pressed along her jaw, and she moaned and tilted her head back as he added more pressure between her thighs. He urged her down to the bed and propped himself over her, his right hand still working between her widening legs. Rey blushed, peering up beneath her lashes as Ben studied her reactions. 

An intent hunger pooled into Ben’s eyes, and Rey felt herself clench as he lowered and sucked at her breasts again, his fingers continuing their languid movements. His teeth grazed her nipple and she jolted against his fingertips. Wild currents of energy ran down her legs, making her toes curl. 

She was filled with a frustrating, unbearable ache, and her sensations were only becoming more intense the longer Ben touched her. What were these sensations building to? How much longer she could stand this? 

Her attention came into focus again as Ben trailed a line of kisses down her belly and began wedging her thighs wider apart with his hands. Throbbing with need, Rey whimpered at the momentary loss of his touch between her legs. Ben looked across at her, observing her as he circled his thumb on her again, and Rey couldn’t fight the pleasured sigh that escaped her mouth. 

Rey was aware of the strange slickness between her thighs, but Ben didn’t seem to mind it. She swallowed nervously as one of Ben’s fingers probed at her pulsing entrance. She inhaled quickly, watching Ben’s transfixed face as he slid his finger inside of her, down to the knuckle. She clenched tightly with nerves, feeling his finger within her walls. Ben glanced across at her before sliding his finger out of her, then back in again. He pressed his thumb against her as his other finger formed a rhythm, sliding in and out, in and out. Soon, he pushed two fingers into her, and she winced at the stretching sensation. But as his fingers moved again, Rey shuddered and jolted her legs, the sensations driving her into a frenzy. 

Her breathing turned to panting as Ben began pressing kisses along her inner thighs, sparking electric threads that carried down her legs. He peered up at her as he traced his fingers along her inner thighs, causing her to jolt and throb from the ticklish sensations. 

“Ben,” she whimpered, reaching down to grip one of his hands. 

“What do you want, Rey?” Ben murmured, taking hold of one of her thighs with his free hand pressing a kiss to her sensitive skin. “Do you want relief?”

“Yes,” she blurted, not know what to expect–and not caring. She needed relief from this throbbing ache like she needed air. 

Ben hooked his hands around her thighs and held her hand again, glancing across at her as he kissed down her inner thigh before closing them and lowering his brows in reverent concentration. Rey’s breath caught in her throat and she let out a soft gasp as he pressed his mouth to her, _there._

Rey was nothing short of shocked by this strange turn of events, but kriff if this wasn’t the most amazing thing she’d ever felt. She shut her eyes, hard, and tilted her head back against the bed as Ben’s mouth and tongue did things she had no idea a mouth and a tongue could do. Her fingers dug into the sheets at her side and moaned as Ben squeezed her other hand, kissing and sucking her fervently. 

His mouth lowered to lick her entrance and the tip of his nose pressed against her, causing her mouth to part and sounds she’d never made before to breach her lips. Her toes tingled and curled and her legs tensed beyond her awareness. She’d lost control of her body. Even her mind was on a plane of its own, forsaken in a churned and dizzy euphoria. 

Ben’s mouth returned to the spot that throbbed, and when he hummed out a low sound and pressed his tongue flat against her, she gasped and her stomach clenched and her insides leapt and her mind exploded and she dropped over an unseeable edge. 

As her body’s quakes subsided, Rey blinked open her eyes, her vision coming into focus on the orange-lit ceiling above. Ben pressed feather-light kisses along her thighs, and he stroked his free hand gently up and down her stomach. His other hand, she realized, was still holding hers. 

Rey looked down at him and they locked eyes, Ben’s jaw tensing. as he climbed his way back up to her face. His lips were slick and salty with her wetness as he kissed her, but Rey didn’t protest; instead, she kissed him with equal passion. Ben returned his hand to hers, pressing his palm against hers and stretching their hands flat against the bed above her head. 

Rey felt him reach beneath the blankets with his free hand. She lowered hers and, overtaken by curiosity, she slid it down along his arm. She’d only once caught a glimpse of a human man’s parts on Jakku–what did Ben’s look like? Did all men look the same down there?

Ben caught Rey’s hand before she could reach any lower, and she frowned up at him. 

“I want to see you,” she demanded. 

Ben swallowed, his eyes tracing over her face. Exhaling, he rolled beside her and sat up against the pillows, the blankets obscuring his torso. Rey propped herself up and, after a quick glance at Ben’s face, she slid the blanket slowly down to his thighs. With wide eyes, she let out a soft gasp as she took in his large, thick appendage, its coloring slightly darker than the rest of his pale skin. It was slightly intimidating to look at. 

Above it, the wrap she’d tied around him remained, and with sweaty palms Rey focused on gently loosening the fabric, pulling it free, and tossing it aside. Ben’s stomach clenched as she traced her fingers traced down his two scars, which with a dizzied mind she noted to be healing well. 

She returned her attention to Ben’s alien protuberance and hovered her hand above it, her fingers curling into her palm in hesitation. She looked at Ben, who remained quiet and appeared flustered. Her gaze lowered to his hand as it covered her own, and he gently wrapped her palm around his warm length. 

Slowly, Ben guided her hand up and down, up and down. Rey was utterly fascinated by the smooth hardness of him, but her feelings grew mixed as she realized what he intended to do with this large thing. 

Ben slid her hand from him and, intertwining his fingers between hers, he rolled onto her, sliding their hands above her head.

“Rey...I’ve wanted this so badly,” he confessed, his voice thick. “You.” His brows lowered and his face took on a look of seriousness that made her heart tug. Ben kissed her deeply, a low sound rising from his throat as his hips lowered to hers. Rey let out a breath of surprise as she felt his length prodding her below, and she squeezed his hand, curling her fingers between his. Ben squeezed her back reassuringly. 

His other hand reached down between them, and he pressed himself at her entrance. Rey exhaled a trembling breath, breaking their kisses, and Ben gazed down at her intently, his eyes glinting in the dimness. 

“Is this going to work?” Rey rasped. 

Ben’s brows lowered in concern. “What do you mean?”

“That’s...going to fit?” she asked, glancing down. She shifted slightly against the unfamiliar feel of him between her legs. 

Ben searched her eyes, sliding his hand from hers to prop himself onto his elbows. He traced his fingers along her face, through her hair. “It might hurt...but I’ll go slow,” he murmured, lowering and kissing her. “Hold on to me, Rey.”

Rey gripped his shoulders, her heart thrumming so wildly in her chest she thought it might burst. There was no way Ben couldn’t feel it. 

“Rey,” Ben breathed, his voice heavy, and Rey shut her eyes in anticipation. 

A soft cry broke from her lips at the moment he pushed into her, and she winced at the sting between her legs. She dug her fingers into Ben’s firm shoulders as he pulled slowly out, then moved himself back in, sliding in a patient rhythm. He kissed her, his eyes scanning her and his breathing becoming erratic. Rey whimpered with each of his slow thrusts, turning her face as she blinked against the moisture brimming over her waterline. She didn’t want him to see her pain. 

“Mmm. Rey,” Ben moaned deeply, tucking his face into her neck and sucking her skin. “Scavenger.”

Rey gasped as Ben’s slow thrusts grew deeper, and she ached from his width. Ben palmed her breast and sunk his teeth into her neck. She arched her back into him, sliding her fingers down the groove of his spine. The pain was beginning to subside, and the rivulets of energy that had been coursing through her before were returning, spiraling down her body. 

“You okay? Does it still hurt?” Ben huffed, his hot breath heating her cheek. 

“Not as much,” Rey breathed. 

Rey gripped his hair and Ben hooked an arm underneath one of her knees, drawing her leg up and over his hip to reach deeper inside her. He still kept his movements slow. Rey shut her eyes and moaned softly, this new angle sending feverish heat and sensation through her. Ben began to increase his pace in response, and he kissed her hotly, stretching her palm above her head again. His length inside her began to feel... _good._

But it wasn’t much longer before Ben was gasping impious swears against her mouth and his body tightened and convulsed. He squeezed her hand tightly, his other digging into the blankets on her other side. Then, like a chopped tree, he simply collapsed. 

Rey blinked up at the ceiling in dazed wonderment, Ben’s deep puffs of breath beating against her neck and warmth pooling in her lower belly. Ben’s heaving chest was crushing her, but she wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Gently, Ben rose onto his elbows and kissed her softly. He lowered slightly to slide himself out of her, and Rey ran her fingers through his hair, tugging him back to her. Ben kissed her again, brushing her hair from her face and gazing down at her ardently. 

“Rey,” he breathed. “I…” 

She watched him swallow as she waited for him to continue, stroking her fingers down his warm back and inhaling his intoxicating musk. Ben’s eyes were dark and warm, swirling with something she couldn’t place. He kept hesitating to speak, and she attempted to press into his mind, but he was keeping her out. 

He shook his head faintly, seeming to shift gears. “Did it feel okay?”

“It felt good, at the end,” she said, and Ben cracked a soft, tired smile. 

“Then I wish I could have lasted longer,” he said, his eyes flickering between hers. Exhaling deeply, he rolled onto his side, wrapping an arm around her to roll her towards him. Beneath the blankets, he pressed his foot against hers, and Rey returned his smile. He looked at her inquisitively. “Was it...what you expected?” he asked. 

“Mm...yes. And no,” she said, her gaze trailing away as she thought. “Mostly no.”

“Tell me,” Ben implored, cupping her cheek, and Rey’s eyes returned to his. Her face flushed with heat. If she admitted everything to him, he’d surely think her an ignorant child. 

The truth was, she hadn’t expected anything more than some kissing and fumbling and him sliding himself into her. She’d had no idea how long the ordeal was supposed to last and what she was expected to do besides be a willing recipient. 

She hadn’t known her body was capable of all of the sensations she’d felt, and she certainly hadn’t foreseen Ben putting his mouth on her like he had. Rey flushed with heat as she thought about it again, and she shut her eyes for a moment in an attempt to organize her thoughts. 

“Um. Well, I didn’t really know it would be...face to face,” she admitted, biting her lip nervously. 

Ben rose an eyebrow, and a smile played on his mouth. “How did you think it would be?” he asked. 

Rey’s cheeks heated again in embarrassment. “The way I’ve seen animals go about it, they don’t do it that way,” she explained quickly. 

Ben nodded slowly against his pillow, his eyes flickering over her face. “For us...there are different ways to do it,” he explained, his fingers sliding down her arm and leaving lines of goosebumps. “Many different ways.”

“Oh,” Rey said. 

“What else?” Ben asked, smiling brighter this time. “Humor me.”

Rey swallowed. “Well...I didn’t think your...you’d be so…” She paused, giggling once. “So large,” she admitted, biting her lip against her smile. 

Ben’s brows lifted, and he let out a low hum of a laugh. He pulled her into him and kissed her dotingly. “I think you’ll like it more, with time,” he said. 

Time. Rey blinked, her thoughts traveling elsewhere for a moment as she considered this. Time was one resource that they seemed to have an abundance of on this island. Rey wasn’t sure how she felt about this fact. 

But her thoughts melted away as Ben kissed her again. They continued to kiss and gaze at one another wordlessly, their hands tracing up and down each other’s bodies until their movements slowed to a stop and Ben tucked his head above Rey’s to sleep. 

Ben’s large arms held her snugly against his front, and Rey cuddled her cheek against his warm chest, smiling contentedly to herself. She sandwiched her feet between Ben’s, and she sniffled once, feeling a tear trail down from her closing eyes as she pleaded silently to the Maker for this night to never end.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I recently saw a post on Tumblr breaking down what Kylo's penis size would likely be based on Mr. Driver's hand and foot sizes and. My god. 
> 
> I'll have you know that I took that into great consideration when revising this chapter. 
> 
> Also, it's worth mentioning again, if you have a head canon or an idea you want to see happen in this story, throw it out there, you never know, I might just use it. I have an outline for where I want things to go in this fic, but that doesn't mean it isn't open to change and/or additions. But the one thing I won't be changing is that I want these two to get naked a lot. Does that sound good with everyone? Any objections?


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Crawls out of hole* I'm back, my pretties!

Rey felt Ben tighten his arm around her as she rose to consciousness, still curled into the sauna of his broad chest. She huffed out a breath against his neck, relieved to find him still here with her. 

Rain pattered on the rooftop above, mixing with the quiet puffs of Ben’s breath atop her head. Rey pressed her open palm to his chest, sensing him awake. She slid herself a few inches away from him to peer up at his face. 

“Morning,” Ben murmured, gazing at her with a sleepy smile. The whites of his teeth peeked through his parted mouth. “Did you sleep well?”

Rey studied his eyes, feeling his legs rub ever so slightly along the tops of her feet. “Yes,” she replied, and she smiled as he cupped her cheek and kissed her forehead. Ben traced his fingers down her side, making her shiver; she loved his affection, she still wasn’t used to his touch. Or to touch, in general. 

And touch her he had, last night. Rey swallowed as she thought of everything they’d done, of when Ben had kissed her all over and been inside of her...it was all a pleasant, swirling haze in her mind. With a nervous thrill, Rey wondered whether Ben would even bring up the topic– _last night._

She studied Ben’s faced as he gazed at her, his hands stroking along her back and down her body. His low lids blinked languidly, and his eyes looked as though they were searching for something in her face. But for what, she couldn’t guess. 

Self-consciousness began to wash over her under the weight of his gaze, and Rey cast her eyes away, unable to allow herself to speculate the look in his dark eyes. She couldn’t risk it, couldn’t risk getting hurt. But her heart fluttered in her chest all the same, like a flapping bird encased in silk. 

Ben kissed her on the mouth then, long and deep, a low sound of contentment rising from his throat. His long fingers slid up into her hair, rubbing patterns along her scalp. Rey closed her eyes and pressed her head into his palm, enjoying the massage. Beneath the blankets, she heard a grumble from Ben’s stomach, and she failed to hold back a giggle.

“You’re always hungry, aren’t you?” she mused, smiling up at him. 

“Mm. Perhaps I am,” Ben murmured, leaning over her and dotting kisses up her cheek. “Only one thing that will relieve my appetite.” He pressed his lips to the tip of her nose. 

With a sigh, Rey propped herself up, keeping the blanket to her chest out of habit. “Well, looks like we need to brave the cliffs again,” she stated, taking notice of Ben’s frown. 

“That’s...not what I meant.”

Heat rose to Rey’s cheeks, and she lifted her brows in realization. “Oh.” 

Ben’s mouth tugged into a half-smile. “But you’re right. We should eat,” he admitted, sitting up beside her. He leaned over the edge of the bed to grab his undershorts and he slid them on underneath the covers. “I’ll go catch us a fish.”

Rey clutched the edge of the blanket and grimaced at his muscular back as he slid from the bed. “I’ll go with you,” she insisted. “I just need my clothes–”

Ben turned, his brows lowering. “Not after what happened, it’s not safe. Just stay here,” he insisted, working his pants up his long legs. “Rest.” 

Rey shook her head. “No, we had to work together to catch the fish, remember?” she reminded him as he pulled his tunic over his head. “When I tried to do it by myself, that’s when I got tangled in the net and fell. The same thing could happen to you.”

“Then I’ll find something else for us to eat,” Ben decided with a nod, turning to leave. 

“It better not be a porg!” Rey called as he strode from the hut, and with a huff, she plopped back onto the warm bed. She listened to the gentle roll of distant thunder and kept her eyes to the dwindling flames across from her, her mind adrift as she pondered what Ben would bring back for their breakfast. 

Rey shifted her legs underneath the covers and winced, feeling a dull soreness between them. She lifted the blankets and let out a quick breath at the sight of the dried fluids and blood on her inner thighs. Rising from the bed, she saw that her blood had also stained the sheets beneath. Was she injured? Or could this be the start of the cycles the Resistance nurse had told her about? 

Bewildered, Rey wrapped a blanket around herself and yanked the sheets from the bed so Ben wouldn’t see. She scurried outside the hut and held the stained sheets up to the falling rain, shivering and clutching her blanket close to her with her free hand. As the blood washed away from the old fabric, Rey folded the soaked sheets and left them in a bunch inside near the door to dry, unsure of what else to do with them. 

She left the hut again and peered across the foggy landscape, shielding her eyes from the rain and seeing so sign of Ben. Dropping her blanket, she knelt to a bush and plucked a handful of rough leaves. She then went to work using them to scrub the stains from her thighs. When she was scrubbed clean, she returned to the hut’s warm interior, dropping her soaked fur blanket with the sheets and wrapped a dry one around her, feeling fresh and renewed. 

She hadn’t been sitting on the edge of the bed, combing her fingers through her wet hair for very long when Ben returned. He carried a stick in each of his fists. He seemed to pay no mind to the wet blankets by the door. 

“See? I told you I’d find something,” he said, looking proud of his catch. 

Rey squinted at the palm-sized, four-legged green creatures skewered through the sticks, and she made a face. They were far from anything she had imagined Ben bringing her to eat. 

“What _are those?”_ she balked, narrowing her eyes as he handed her a stick. She touched her finger to the dead animal’s slick skin. 

“I have no idea,” Ben admitted, tilting his stick to study his own specimen. “I found them hopping around in the mud. I hope they’re safe to eat.” 

“Luke didn’t warn me about any poisonous animals here,” Rey said, peering into her creature’s dim and bulging eyes. 

“You don’t find these cute, do you?” Ben asked, and when Rey met his amused eyes, she realized he was teasing her. 

“No,” she said, biting her lip to fight back a smile. She looked back down at her intended breakfast. “Actually, they’re rather ugly.”

“Then I hope they taste good,” Ben said, taking her stick. Rey watched as he kneeled before the fire and began roasting the skewers. She wondered whether he’d just been teasing her, or if he’d actually felt compelled to get her approval before preparing the creatures for them to eat. 

With a smile, Rey reached her hand to Ben’s head and slid her fingers through the ends of his damp, wavy hair. He looked at her over his shoulder, the corner of his mouth lifting and his eyes gleaming in the firelight. Rey rose to her feet and bent to kiss his slick forehead. Ben tilted his face upwards until his warm mouth met hers. As she kissed him, a hunger not unlike the one Rey felt in her stomach for food rose up in her chest, and she tugged at his hair. 

They both started at a sudden loud spark in the fire and turned their faces to see that Ben had lowered their skewers onto the burning logs. 

“Kriff,” he cursed, removing the sticks from the alcove and blowing the fire from their food, now charred and black. Ben rose to his feet, shifting his jaw as he surveyed the roasted creatures. “I ruined them.”

“Let me try it,” Rey urged, holding out her hand, and Ben handed one to her. She couldn’t bring herself to waste the food, unappetizing as it appeared. A life of slaving for scraps in the Jakku desert had taught her as much. But as she bit into the hot, scorched meat, Rey couldn’t help but make a face of disgust. 

“Is it that bad?” Ben asked, cringing slightly. “I’m sorry.”

Rey squeezed her eyes hard a moment, then forced herself to continue chewing the charred meat until it was worn down enough to swallow. “It’s fine,” she assured, swallowing again for good measure. “It’s not that bad, really.”

Ben took a bite of his own meat and his face immediately shriveled. He clamped his eyes shut as he swallowed with apparent difficulty. 

“You lying little scavenger,” he laughed, tossing the stick with the rest of the meat into the fire. “It tastes like burnt wood.” 

“I didn’t want to hurt your feelings,” Rey admitted, biting her lip to hide a smile. Reluctantly, she tossed her own stick into the flames, hearing the fire crackle as it engulfed the new fodder. “But now _I’m hungry.”_

Ben stepped closer to her, mischief flashing across his dark eyes as he closed the distance between them. “Then it’s a good thing I brought these,” he said, pulling a handful of purple berries from his pant pocket. Rey’s eyes widened as he popped one of the plump berries into his mouth. Purple juices ran messily down his lower lip as he chewed, and he bent to kiss her. 

Smiling, Rey licked the sweet flavor that had transferred to her own lips and accepted a handful of berries from Ben. She sat back on the edge of the bed and Ben settled close beside her as they ate. Rey finished her berries quickly, her ravenous belly overcoming her desire to make the fruity sweetness last. 

Ben still had some berries left in his palm, but Rey noticed that he had stopped eating. His eyes focused on hers, and he rose a thumb to her lips, slowly tracing the shape of her mouth and swiping juice from her chin. He pressed his thumb against her lower lip, parting her mouth and sliding his finger inside. With hesitant curiosity, Rey sucked gently at his finger as he slid it back out. 

Ben’s eyes, dark and intent, bored into hers. Rey didn’t have to guess or read his mind to understand. Rising a hand to his shoulder, she leaned forward and kissed him deeply. He sighed through his nose as he parted his mouth against her lips, brushing his tongue against hers and tasting her. 

Rey gripped onto Ben’s tunic arms as he urged her backwards on the bed, crawling after her to keep his mouth to hers. As she leaned back against the pillows, Ben cupped her face and kissed her fervently. Rey gripped onto his hair, a breathy sound escaping her mouth as he tilted her face to press his mouth to her neck. He left wet trails on her skin as he kissed down to her collarbone, his hands lowering to untuck the blanket from underneath her arms. 

“Ben, wait,” Rey breathed, taking hold of his hand. She bit her lip as he studied her face. “Last night...I bled,” she said. 

Ben’s expression remained soft, holding none of the surprise or alarm she’d expected it to. He sat on his heels and traced the curve of her cheek, sliding her damp hair from her face. “It was your first time…” he trailed, his voice low. “So that’s normal. I think.”

“Oh,” Rey said, wanting to know more but also wanting to let the topic slide. Ben curled his arm around her, drawing her up to sit on her knees before him. She placed a palm to his tunic, hearing him exhale as her blanket slid from her torso. 

“I hope it didn’t hurt too much for you, last night,” Ben murmured, brushing the tip of his nose lightly against hers. Rey blinked languidly as his warm breath spread across her cheeks. 

“It wasn’t bad,” she said, peering up at him from underneath her lashes. 

“It will get better,” he assured her. He slid his arm down, rounding her lower back. His eyes coursed down her, causing a spark of energy to shoot down her core. His eyes focused back on hers. “Do you want to try again?”

Rey closed her eyes a moment at the throb that was beginning below, dulling her soreness. She gripped the fabric of Ben’s tunic and nodded slowly, her lips brushing his. “Yes,” she breathed, shakily. 

Ben kissed her, his fingers cupping her chin. He tilted his face and kissed her jaw. Rey let out a soft gasp as he rose a palm to her breast. “Tell me what you want,” he said, his eyes darkening. Rey bit her lip as he squeezed her breast with one hand, his other sliding up her thigh. “Or do I have to pull it from your mind?” 

Ben splayed his hand across her forehead, and Rey frowned, grasping his wrist. “Stay out of my head,” she protested, lowering her brows.

Ben hesitated, but his hand moved to her cheek. “Yes, scavenger,” he acquiesced, sounding mildly disappointed. He kissed her, more softly this time, and Rey’s frown melted away. She found her fingers tugging at his tunic, and Ben removed it immediately in response. His large arms wrapped around her, and he eased her onto her back. 

They kissed long and deep, Rey’s hands running through Ben’s hair as his tongue breached her lips in search of her own. Kissing him had at first felt strange to Rey, but now it felt so natural, almost instinctual, and she couldn’t get enough of it. Of _Ben._ She wanted his hot mouth all over her again. 

Ben sat up on his knees then to strip off his pants. Rey lay, panting, as she watched him kick the thick fabric off the bed, leaving only his bulging undershorts. 

“It’s so dark in here,” Ben huffed, sounding frustrated. His eyes traced up and down her body. He turned his face towards the wall at their side, and Rey jolted as he flung his palm out, forcing a brick to eject from the top of the wall. Rey blinked as a rectangle of the foggy grey morning light streamed into the small space. 

“Ben!” Rey protested, rising to her elbows. “The rain’s going to get in here!”

“We’ll solve that later,” Ben said dismissively, leaning over her and kissing away her protests. He traced his thumb over her nipple and she gasped. “I want to see you.” 

Rey felt exposed in the soft daylight, but it was too late for modesty. She stared dazedly at Ben as he lifted one of his leftover berries and brought it to her lips. 

“Bite,” he instructed, his voice low, and Rey’s brows pressed together as she sank her teeth into the sweet fruit. Ben kept the remaining half of the berry pinched between his fingers. As she swallowed, he kissed the juice from her lips. Rey shivered and kept her gaze to Ben’s hand as he pressed the berry along her collarbone, leaving a dark trail of juice. Ben glanced at her before lowering his face and kissing the purple nectar from her chest. 

Ben traced the berry in a series of patterns around her breasts, and Rey’s breath quickened as he continuously sucked and lapped at her skin. A low sound broke from his throat as he latched onto her nipple, and Rey moaned, pulling his hair. 

Ben traced the berry down her stomach, stopping the juice trail where her thin patch of hair began. His dark eyes flickered up to hers as he began kissing his way down the middle of her body, parting her quivering thighs wider as he lowered. He traced a line of juice along her inner thigh, and Rey leaned her head back, throbbing with need as his mouth slid along her skin to her center. 

Rey moaned as he pressed his mouth to her, tugging his hair hard enough to hurt, but Ben didn’t seem to mind. Low hums filtered up from his throat as his mouth worked her, and Rey shut her eyes, her stomach already tightening and her toes curling. 

“Mm. You taste so good, Rey,” Ben breathed against her, and when he pressed his mouth to her again she shook and clenched hard, her neck arching towards the ceiling. As she lay panting and shivering, Ben pressed a gentle kiss back to her center. “So soon, Scavenger?” he asked, climbing up her again. His mouth curved in an amused–or smug, Rey couldn’t tell–smile, and he licked his lips before lowering to kiss her mouth. 

He reached down as they kissed to slide off his shorts, and Rey flushed as she felt him prodding between her thighs. She swallowed, gripping his forearms to brace herself. With a huff, Ben eased himself into her, sliding easily from her moisture. Rey hissed in pain, digging her fingers into his arms and wincing. 

Ben kissed her but kept himself still. Breathing heavily, he studied her face, and his brows lowered. “We don’t have to do this,” he said, searching her eyes. 

“I’m fine,” Rey insisted, gripping his firm, round shoulder. Ben shifted slightly, and she squeezed her eyes shut. 

“I don’t want to hurt you,” Ben murmured, lowering to kiss her cheek. Rey made a quiet sound of protest as he slid himself out of her, but the sore, stretched feeling abated. She inhaled as she saw his wet, darkened member in the light streaming through the makeshift window, and as Ben caught her staring, she lowered her gaze to her own body with hot cheeks. 

Ben slid off the bed and Rey sat up in confusion. “Where are you going?” she prodded, and he turned, his palm hovering over the front of himself in half-hearted modesty. 

“Outside,” he said. Rey gave him a puzzled look, and he exhaled. “I’ll be back in a few minutes,” he said, his voice wavering. “I just...I need to take care of this.”

Rey’s brows lifted in interest. “Can’t you just...do that here?” she asked, unable to tame her raging curiosity. Her gaze flickered between Ben’s face and his hovering palm. Ben appeared unsure, anxious, even, and he shifted on his feet. “I...I want to watch you,” she admitted, tucking her hair behind her ear. She felt surprised at her own brazenness. 

Ben swallowed as he slowly sidled back to the bed. He sat himself across from her, keeping his hand over himself, and Rey slid forward to take hold of his hand. She glanced up at him as she pulled it away from his member, then lowered her gaze to study him. 

“Is it painful?” she asked concernedly, glancing concernedly up at him. Ben smiled, seeming to soften and relax again. 

“No,” he said, his eyes glistening. “Not unless I don’t do anything with it.” 

Rey thought about her own neediness to be touched when Ben kissed her, and she surmised that it must feel something like that for him. Gently, she took hold of him, feeling him twitch slightly within her grasp. 

“This feels good for you?” she asked, looking up at him. 

Ben swallowed heavily and nodded. “Yes,” he breathed. “Really good.”

Rey slid her hand up and down him, recalling how he’d moved her hand on him last night. She snuck glances at him, watching his eyes close intermittently and hearing him make soft, low sounds as she gradually increased her pace. 

“Rey,” Ben breathed, “faster.”

Rey knitted her brows, focusing as she worked her hand up and down him in quick succession. Ben moaned, hunching over and taking hold of her hand. 

“Lay down,” he urged, removing her hand. Rey settled onto her back and watched, wide-eyed, as Ben pumped himself hard, his face tightening in concentration. When his dark eyes rose and locked on hers, the air left her chest so was so struck by the intensity of his gaze. As he came, Rey thought she heard her name spill out from his mouth amidst a slew of curses and watched in fascination as streams of warm, whitish fluid shot onto her belly. 

Ben looked down and exhaled heavily as he finished, releasing his hold on himself to swipe his arm across his dampened forehead. His posture seemed to slump as he sat on his heels before her. Almost sheepishly, he shifted his gaze back to hers. 

“So...how often do you have to do that?” Rey asked, glancing down at the fluid pooling on her belly.

Ben’s face lifted in amusement. “Hm. That depends,” he said, seeming to leave it at that. He rose from the bed, and Rey eyed his nude form as he bent to pick up the sheets she’d wadded by the door. He returned to her side and used an edge of the damp sheets to wipe the fluid from her body. Rey stared up at his calm face as he cleaned her, and when he tossed the sheets back by the door, she looked down at herself, noticing a tiny white stream that he’d missed. 

Ben slid onto the bed beside her and watched as she silently dragged her fingertip up the fluid. She brought her finger closer to her face to inspect it. She pressed her thumb to the pad of her finger, finding the fluid sticky. 

“Strange,” she noted quietly, and Ben made a soft sound of amusement. 

Rey wiped the fluid on the mattress and turned her face towards Ben’s as he stroked his hand down her damp hair. His rested his palm on her cheek, and Rey smiled softly. Gently, she placed her open hand on his chest, needing to touch him in return. Ben’s eyes looked almost amber in the soft light streaming in through the hole in the wall, and Rey felt lost within them, unable to tear her gaze from his. 

A few days ago, this would have seemed like a crazy thing to do: lying together during the day, naked and wordless, their eyes and hands unmoving. But now, to Rey, this felt natural, as if this was what they’d been made to do. 

It felt right. 

And judging by the look in Ben’s eyes, he felt the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Space frogs. 
> 
> Ben brought space frogs to eat.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a long chapter, but a chapter. Didn't really proofread this, so there might be some typos (or, more than usual).

Ben rubbed his eyes as he picked berries from a bush, groggy from having slept through the afternoon. Rey was still sound asleep inside. 

Light rainfall sprinkled around him as he made his way back to the hut, pockets bulging with fruit. On his way back, he passed through the piles of rubble, and just as he saw the hut ahead, he heard a familiar chirp.

Ben stopped and turned to see a porg– _his_ porg, as Rey had deemed it–standing atop the brick pile on which he’d first found it. The creature stared at him with its big eyes and flapped its wings, as if in greeting. Ben was about to continue on when he saw the porg hop down the pile and slide itself through into a narrow crevice.  
Curiously, Ben strode over to the brick mound, lowering into a crouch to peer inside the space between the bricks. Tilting his head to get a better look, he caught sight of the porg nestled inside the small space within. He caught a glimpse of something else, and his eyes widened. 

….

“I don’t understand, what is it?” Rey sighed, her lids still heavy. Ben seemed to have woken her from a deep sleep. 

“Just come look,” Ben urged, tugging her hand. 

“Can I at least put on some clothes?” Rey asked, clasping the blanket to herself as he slid her across the bed. 

Ben looked her up and down once, shaking his head. “There’s no one else here. You don’t need clothes,” he stated, tugging her hand insistently. 

Rey frowned and gestured above to the hole in the wall that he’d made earlier. “Ben, it’s _raining.”_

He bit back a smile. “Alright, fine,” he relented, releasing her hand and lowering to gather her clothes. He tossed them to her, and as she began lowering the blanket from herself, Rey paused and looked up at him. 

“Do you mind?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Ben smiled fondly down at her. “I want to watch you. Isn’t that what you said to me earlier?” he chuckled. “Besides, I’ve already seen you without clothes.”

Rey lowered her brows in protest, her cheeks turning a bright shade of pink. Apparently she couldn’t come up with a good enough retort, because she relented and set the blanket aside. As she began putting on her clothes, Ben’s smile faded as he was transfixed by her bare, natural beauty. 

Rey rose to clasp the front of her pants, and Ben felt his own cheeks redden as she finally peered back up at him. 

“What was it you wanted to show me?” Rey asked. 

Ben released the breath he’d been holding, feeling his heart race. What _was_ he going to show her? Oh, right.

Ben extended his palm, and Rey placed her hand in his, her brows lifting slightly as their eyes caught on each other’s. Ben felt dizzy, his chest swelling with warmth, but he forced himself to turn and, with a deep inhale, he led her from the hut. 

As they approached the porg’s brick pile, Ben released Rey’s hand to crouch before it. 

“See this hole? Come look,” he told Rey, watching as she cautiously moved towards him. 

“Is this a trick?” she asked, casting him a suspicious glance.

“No, no,” Ben assured. 

Rey stopped. “Nothing’s going to jump out at me?”

Ben chuckled. “Mm...I can’t promise that, Scavenger.”

Rey narrowed her eyes at him but continued forward. Her right knee pressed against his as she lowered to peek inside. 

“Oh. It’s your porg,” she laughed, smiling at him. 

Ben nodded back to the hole. “Yes, but–Look again.” He watched intently as she leaned her face closer to the entrance. 

“Are those...eggs?” she asked, glancing at him in surprise. 

Ben suddenly felt sheepish. Maybe she wouldn’t be interested in this at all. Maybe it was stupid of him to wake her, only to drag her out into the rain just to see a nest of eggs. 

“I...I just thought you might like to see,” Ben hedged. 

Rey’s eyes flickered between his, a smile playing upon her lips. “And to think you almost ate the mother.” 

Ben smirked. “But I didn’t,” he stated, his gaze tracing her features. “Thanks to you.” Slowly, he reached his hand to her face, resting his fingers beneath her chin and lifting it slightly. He kept his eyes on hers as he leaned in, closing his lids just before their lips met. His chest tightened as he kissed her, as if a strong fist held his heart. 

As they parted, their knees pressing into each other, Ben found his gaze settling on her face again, on the lines of rain speeding down her face and rounding the curve of her round, roseate lips. He swallowed without conscious thought as he returned his eyes to hers searchingly. Emotions long repressed surged up through his veins and evolved into words that traveled up his vocal cords, only to be caught on the edge of his reluctant tongue. 

He wanted to tell her, wanted to let spill those words he’d almost spoke aloud to her this morning. They were trapped within his mouth, his chest, his mind, and he yearned to set them free, to hear the words repeated by Rey and for his heart to stop its nervous thrumming. 

_Rey,_ he managed to press into her mind. 

Rey blinked, her mouth parting, but then she was rising to her feet, breaking her eyes away from his. Ben didn’t shield his eyes from the drizzling rain as he gazed up at her, watching her swipe the water from her forehead and cheeks. Slowly, he rose, and he was about to pull her in to kiss her again when she took a step back and folded her arms, as if she had sensed what he’d been about to do. 

“Let’s go inside. I’m cold,” Rey said, giving him only a moment’s glance before turning and heading away. Ben stood in place for a moment, swaying stiffly on his feet before continuing behind her. 

….

The next hour was spent in relative quiet as they munched on the berries that Ben had collected and dried rain-soaked branches to stoke the dwindling fire. 

Ben was stretched out on the bed, watching Rey as she stood beside the fireplace to scratch a sixth tally mark into the brick wall. He was struck at how much had happened in the six days they’d been here. 

“Why do you bother counting the days?” he asked, and she turned.

“I’m thinking that the longer we’re stuck here, the less likely it is that we’ll be rescued,” she said, palming the rock in her hands.  
“You still think we’re going to be rescued?” Ben asked. He knew that no one was coming to his rescue; the First Order would never come looking for him on this desolate, faraway planet. But he wasn’t upset by this in the slightest, no. He was relieved to be out of Snoke’s clutch. 

“I have hope,” Rey said, her expression neutral. She bent to set the rock onto the ground and then faced towards the fire.

Ben tilted his head against the stacked pillows, studying the orange-lit profile of her face. “And if we are rescued?” he asked. “What then?”

He saw Rey’s chest rise in an abrupt inhale. “Well...we go back the Resistance, of course,” she stated, looking at him askance. She said it as if it were a universally known fact. 

Ben lowered his brows in consternation, bobbing his head forward. “What?” he balked. This wasn’t what he’d expected–or wanted–her to say. 

Rey turned towards him, her brows pressing together in the middle until little lines formed between them. “The Resistance,” she repeated. “They’ll need our help.”

Outside, thunder rumbled, low and deep. Ben pressed his palms onto the bed, straightening his back. “You think I’m going to help _the Resistance?”_

Rey’s mouth parted, and Ben could nearly see her mind at work. “What else would you do?” she asked, tossing up a hand. “Go back to the _First Order?”_

Ben chewed the inside of his lip. Memories of Snoke–dark memories–surged through is mind, and he flinched. “No.” 

Rey’s face scrunched in puzzlement. “Then what, Ben? There is still a war going on. Where do you expect to go?” 

“Nowhere,” Ben blurted, even though he hadn’t thought it through. But, now that he was thinking about it, the idea did seem kind of nice. 

Rey looked at him like that was the stupidest possible thing he could have said. It probably was, he mused. “And just let the war rage on? What about Luke? Leia?”

Anger flashed through Ben’s chest. “What about them?” he snapped, rising from the bed. 

“Do you really not care about anyone but yourself?” Rey spouted. 

“Of course I do,” Ben retorted, glaring down at her. He took in a deep breath. “I care about you.”

Rey hesitated, her strained expression fading for a brief, almost imperceptible moment. But he saw it. “That’s not enough,” she said lowly. 

“What about you?” Ben countered, and Rey took a faint step backwards.

“What _about_ me?” 

“Would you be so quick to run from me, to slip away to the side of your so-called _friends?”_ he dug, feeling his shoulders rise. “They aren’t here, Rey. Don’t you see? They haven’t come to rescue you.” 

Rey bit her lip, her eyes moistening. He knew he’d hit a tender spot. “That’s because they’re too busy fighting a _war,”_ she hissed, glaring up at him from beneath her dark lashes. “But they’ll come.” 

“And when they do, you’ll just fly away with them and go back to the Resistance pretending that nothing ever happened here?” Ben speculated, heaving. He searched her eyes, dark beneath his shadow. 

Rey sucked in a breath as he took a small step closer to her, leaving only inches between them. “When we made love, did that mean nothing to you?” he breathed, narrowing his eyes as if to peer deeper into hers, to find answers. 

Rey’s mouth parted, but no words passed her lips. That, apparently, was her answer. 

Ben untensed his shoulders and lowered his brows woefully. He swallowed, stepping back from her. 

“It meant something to me,” he said. He held her gaze only a moment longer before turning and striding out of the hut and into the light of the setting sun. 

“Ben–Where are you going?” Rey called, sounding choked. She followed after him amid the rain and rumble of thunder. “Ben,” she repeated, latching onto his sleeve, and he turned around. 

“I’m going for a walk, Rey,” he said mildly, his voice holding none of the bitterness that he felt. He didn’t have the energy–or the will, perhaps–to fight with her any longer. 

Rey looked down at their boots for a new moments, her hand still grasping his sleeve. For a moment, he wanted to take it into his own. It looked incredibly small and delicate against the width of his arm, but he knew better–those small hands could be deadly.

“Can I come with you?” Rey asked, peering back up at him. 

Ben stared at her, shaking his head gently. “I just need some air.” 

Rey released her hand and backed away from him, nodding. “Okay.” 

….

Ben didn’t go far, and he didn’t stay away long. He’d quickly gotten cold, and lonely, with just him and his thoughts. But the rainfall had stopped and night had set in before returned to their hill. 

As he neared the hut, Ben saw Rey sitting on a low rock outside, a blanket wrapped around her. Her face was illuminated by the large moon. She cast him a mild glance as he approached, then turned her face back up to the sky. 

“What are you doing out here?” Ben asked, stopping beside her. 

“Looking at the stars,” she said, keeping her gaze to the white-flecked sky above. “It’s what I used to do almost every night on Jakku, before I went to sleep.”

Slowly, Ben walked around the rock and settled beside her. He watched her profile as she spoke again. 

“I knew all of the constellations in the sky above Jakku,” she continued, tilting her face. “But I don’t recognize any here.”

Ben looked up at the sky with her. “Then we should name our own,” he said, feeling Rey’s gaze on him. He lowered his face and looked at her cautiously, and the air left his chest as he saw renewed warmth in her glinting eyes. 

….

Ben sighed with sleepiness as he peeled off his tunic and slid underneath the covers. He laid onto his back, turning his face to watch as Rey removed her vest. Her hands hovered over her blouse, then lowered to slide off her trousers, revealing her light blue underwear. 

Ben looked back up at the ceiling as she slid next him, and Rey did the same. Ben didn’t know where they stood now after their fight earlier, even though the past few hours spent naming the stars together had amended some of the threads. But maybe some of those threads would remain severed. He still didn’t know if Rey felt the same way as him, and he didn’t think he could bear it if she rejected his advancements, so he figured it was best to not attempt them at all. 

Rey certainly didn’t seem to want to same things as him. She was still idealistic, naive, even, and so she valued her friends and the Resistance. Not that he truly faulted her for that; he just wished she had the same devotion towards him as she did them. 

But that was idealistic on his part, he realized. 

“Goodnight,” Rey breathed, and Ben turned his face to gaze at her. Her eyes were closed, but her lashes fluttered ever so slightly against her cheek. The moonlight streaming in through their new window lined her profile in an otherworldly glow. 

“Goodnight, Rey,” Ben answered, reluctantly turning his face and closing his eyes as fatigue overtook him. Only a few minutes had passed when he felt himself succumbing to sleep, but as he did, he felt Rey’s fingers brush against his underneath the blankets. Smiling silently, Ben slid his fingers along hers, feeling her smooth nails and the small bumps of her knuckles. He took her small hand into his grasp, holding it securely as his mind drifted, light as a cloud.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah, political differences. How will Rey and Ben reconcile their political differences? They could probably use a heavy dose of courage, especially if they're to stop holding back around each other. Liquid courage, ideally. 
> 
> And...what _is_ holding them back?


	17. Chapter 17

Rey was surprised that Ben had agreed to train her again. 

She stood before him as he ignited his crackling saber and held her breath when he finally looked at her. 

She’d woken up pressed against his side, and she’d sheepishly rolled away as he got up to pull on his tunic and eat the leftover berries. 

Ben had barely glanced at her all morning, casting only a brief look her way as she’d apprehensively asked him if he would give her a lesson in the Force. She wanted him to train her in the Force, yes, but more importantly, she wanted to clear the air between them. They hadn’t spoken a word about their argument yesterday. 

Ben brushed his long hair from his face and adjusted his grip on his saber before he began instructing her on how to make heavy hits. He reminded her that she would need to keep her feet wide to keep her balance. To demonstrate, he stomped and swung his saber at an invisible enemy before him, and Rey found herself taking a few steps backwards in cautious awe. 

She recalled his broad stance and the wide sweeps of his lightsaber when he’d stalked her like a nexu through the forest on Starkiller. She’d been afraid, then. But now, watching him slice the air with his hissing red weapon made her feel all sorts of new things.

Ben paused to catch his breath. “Do you want to give it a try now?” he asked, raising his eyebrows slightly. 

“On my own?” she asked, unhooking the hilt clipped to her belt. 

“Against me,” he said, studying her. 

Rey hesitated, then nodded. She glanced down at the humming beam of blue igniting before her, then looked back across to Ben’s dark and waiting eyes. They were focused, but she recognized a warmth burning within them, swirling in his irises like the crackling sparks of his saber. 

Fighting against the tug of her heart, Rey grit her teeth and charged him, quickly, but not quickly enough. Ben leapt gracefully out of her path, leaving her to spin around on her heels to face him again. 

“Remember, wide stance,” he instructed, lowering his brows. 

“Wide stance,” Rey repeated to herself, clenching her hands around her saber and wavering on her feet. She took a long stride forward, swooping her saber up in an underhanded arc to meet his. Their weapons sparked and screeched as they clashed, and Rey almost smiled–for some reason, she’d missed that sound. 

…..

They hadn’t been going at it for long until they were both panting underneath the heated rays of the sun. Today, there was barely a cloud in the sky–a rare occurrence, it seemed, on this planet. 

Rey’s hand paused mid-swipe across her sweaty chest as Ben wrenched off his tunic. He kept his gaze cast aside as he tossed his shirt away. Only his black arm guards and their connective strap remained on his broad upper body. 

Rey’s mouth parted as she took in his muscled stomach, glistening with a slick layer of sweat. Ben began peeling off his armbands, and Rey quickly shifted her gaze as he glanced across at her. 

“It’s hot out today,” Ben remarked, as if he wanted to provide an explanation for his sudden state of undress. Rey nodded in silent agreement, looking down and shrugging off her vest. As she dropped it to the ground, Ben called his saber hilt into his gloved grasp.

“Do you want to go again?”

Rey sucked in a breath, forcing her eyes to stay up on his face. “Yes,” she said, stepping back into her fighting stance. “I’m ready.” 

Ben came at her this time, driving his saber against hers with a forceful blow that forced her backwards. But as she grit her teeth and widened her legs, she regained her balance and countered the force of his push. 

“That’s it,” Ben appraised, his low voice barely carrying above the crackling of their joined sabers. Rey found herself staring up at him, feeling a bit dizzied by the darkness in his eyes. With a groan, she yanked her saber away and dealt him a strong blow. Ben blocked her with practiced ease, but she kept at it, crashing into his red weapon with aggressive, balanced steps. “Good,” Ben said. 

After a few more hits, he lowered his saber and disengaged it. Letting out an effortful breath, he spoke again, his eyes still on her. “But you could be stronger.” 

Rey disengaged her own saber and frowned at him, offended. “What do you mean?”

Ben gestured vaguely to her torso with the hilt of his weapon. “If you want to be the best fighter you can be, you always need to maintain your strength. We haven’t gotten much exercise since we’ve been here,” he explained. He tossed his lightsaber over his shoulder and lowered to a crouch on the grass, looking up at her with expectant eyes. 

Raising an eyebrow, Rey lowered to her knees before him, setting her own saber aside. Ben turned and lengthened his body in a straight line just above the ground, balancing on his tensed forearms and toes. His position wasn’t unlike the one he’d been in when he’d been on top of her, naked, Rey thought with a flush. Ben’s wavy hair cascaded over his face, giving her a few moments’ opportunity to stare openly at his robust build before he tucked a black lock behind his ear. 

“Get into this position,” he said, turning his face towards her. “Hold it as long as you can.” 

Rey did as he instructed, mimicking his form. She breathed hard as she stared down at the blades of grass inches from her face, her stomach muscles tightening. She knew she was strong, physically; if she hadn’t been, she wouldn’t have survived as long as she did on Jakku. The weaker scavengers never lasted long. 

But after a few minutes had passed, Rey’s stomach and legs began to shake. Ben was right, she thought begrudgingly; she hadn’t used these muscles much since she’d been on Jakku. She turned her face to look at him, letting out an exasperated breath as she saw that he was as straight and still as before. 

Breathing hard, Rey collapsed onto her stomach. The heat and sweat trapped beneath her thick blouse made her feel like she was suffocating as she sat on her bottom with a huff. 

Eventually, Ben lowered too, looking infuriatingly less strained than she. But after no more than a minute’s break, he moved back into position. 

_“Again?”_ Rey balked, and Ben nodded, the hint of a smile on his mouth as he peered at her askance. 

“What, afraid of a little workout, Scavenger?”  
Rey hesitated, feeling a small rush of anger, both at his remarkable strength and at him using that nickname for her–it made her feel things she didn’t want to be feeling right now. 

She looked down her torso, chewing her lip, and began unwrapping her arm guards. She turned away from Ben as she tossed the strips of fabric aside and began working her blouse up her waist. 

She felt a wave of vengeful satisfaction as she heard Ben’s body lower to the ground with an exhale. She wrapped one of the strips of fabric from her arm guard around her chest, tying it tight beneath the backs of her shoulders to secure her chest. 

As she scooted back around, she looked nonchalantly at Ben, who was now sitting, legs splayed. Rey gave him a condescending look. “Are you done so soon?” she asked, raising an eyebrow and getting back into her plank. Out of her peripheral vision, she smiled as she saw Ben falter before he got back into place. 

Rey was all too aware of Ben’s searing gaze scouring her bare, fit torso as he led her through a series of other stretches. She pretended not to notice, just as he appeared to be unaware of her sneaking looks at his broad shoulders and sinewy arms. She smothered the heated thoughts that passed through her mind by focusing on the burn and strain of her muscles. 

When they were both too sore to continue, they lay sprawled on the grass, apart from each other. 

“Are those...the exercises you did...with the First Order?” Rey panted, chest heaving. 

Ben didn’t answer at first. Then, “Yes.”

“Who did you have to train with? The stormtroopers?” she asked, turning her face towards him. He was looking up at the sky. “Or did you train by yourself?”

Ben pushed up from the ground abruptly, swiping grass from his arms and not looking at her. “I don’t want to talk about the First Order,” he said bluntly. 

Rey sat up as he began gathering his strewn articles of clothing. “I wonder if the Resistance pilots have some sort of workout regimen,” she thought aloud.

Ben rounded on her, clutching his tunic in his balled fist. “I don’t want to hear about the _Resistance,_ either,” he snapped, and Rey gave him a bitter look. His shoulders rose and fell in a deep breath, and his face relaxed a bit before he turned and headed into the hut.  
Rey let out a frustrated huff of her own as she returned to her feet, shielding her eyes and scanning the horizon. The sun sparkled enticingly on the ocean beyond the cliffs, and Rey wished that the water was warmer and that she knew how to swim. 

….

That evening, they made only small talk as they rested in the hut and feasted on a new helping of berries. They sat on the edge of the bed after they ate, warming their feet before the fire, but a generous space remained between them. Rey folded her arms in her lap after she’d finished her last fruit, rubbing her fingers along her hand absently. 

“We need to fish tomorrow,” Ben said, and Rey looked at his profile. “We need meat. Protein.”

“Alright,” Rey said, pleased by his implication that they’d go together. 

“Besides. We can’t live off of berries forever,” he said, glancing at her. 

Rey inhaled. “‘Forever?’” 

“You know what I mean,” he said, shrugging and turning back towards the fire. 

Rey bit her nail. What if they were stuck here for the rest of their lives? She stared at Ben for a few moments, considering, then got up from the bed, unable to sit still any longer. She had to do something, anything to hold onto the hope that they’d be rescued. She bent beside the fire to lift a rock and heard Ben sigh as she scratched another mark into the wall.

“Why don’t you just give that up?” Ben asked. 

Rey dropped the rock and faced him, sagging her head to the side. “I want to know how many days I’ve been stuck with you when the Resistance comes to pick me up,” she snarked.

Ben appeared ruffled. “They aren’t coming to pick you up,” he said, lowering his voice. 

Rey frowned. “You just don’t want them to,” she countered, folding her arms over her blouse. “You don’t want to regret not joining us once we’ve left you here.” 

_“‘Us?’”_ Ben spat, his brows pressing down over his eyes. He huffed, his shoulders raising. “You really think you belong with them any more than I do?” 

“Of course I belong,” Rey asserted with a nod. 

Ben pressed further. “And with Luke?”

“I–Yes,” she said, swallowing. 

“Once he sees the darkness in you, he’ll cast you out. That is, if he hasn’t seen it already. He and the Resistance both,” Ben said, raising his chin. 

“I don’t have that–I’m not like you,” Rey snapped, despite the fact that they both knew full well she was lying. 

Ben cracked a dark smile. “I’ve seen it,” he crooned. “The Dark–It’s there. In your mind, in your eyes. I can feel it, just brimming below the surface.” 

“And what about the Light in _you?”_ Rey countered, finding an edge. “You can pretend it’s not there when it suits you, but it’s as obvious as the rain outside. You’re no monster–it’s all a facade.” 

“Is it?” 

“Yes!”

Ben rose from the bed, and Rey felt dwarfed again by his height. “Then so is your attachment to the Resistance.” Rey opened her mouth to speak, but she found no words as he took a step closer, enshrouding her in his shadow. “You only want to stay with the Resistance because you crave companionship,” he said. “Belonging.” 

Gently, he rested his palm on her arm, and she trembled, fighting to keep back her tears as she glared up at him. 

“You don’t have to join the Resistance to have that, Rey,” Ben murmured. 

For a few moments, Rey’s face softened, and so did her heart. Slowly, she began reaching her hand to him, but then she dropped it back to her side as she found strength deep within to maintain her resolve. “I have to help my friends,” she said. 

Ben’s face seemed to fall, and his hand lowered on her arm. “If it weren’t for your...friends, you wouldn’t care about joining the Resistance.”  
“That’s not true,” Rey snapped, shrugging her arm away from his touch.

“It is,” Ben maintained, searching her face. 

Rey parted her mouth, feeling her face soften as he leaned forward almost imperceptibly, and for a moment she thought he would kiss her. But instead, he turned away, peeled off his boots, and slid into bed fully clothed. 

Still trembling, Rey’s hand found its way to the spot on her arm where he’d touched her, but then quickly forced her hands back down to her sides. 

She sat before the fire for a long time, huddled within a blanket and lost in the swirl of her conflicting feelings. She focused on keeping her mental walls up, blocking Ben from her mind, even though he didn’t try breaking through. Part of her wished he would. 

Eventually, she couldn’t keep her eyes open any longer and she tucked herself into bed, wedging the spare pillows in the small rift between them. She turned towards the wall, gripping the blanket’s edge, but was unable to relax. 

It wasn’t for much later that she was able to finally fall asleep, when she felt Ben silently remove the pillows between them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's in the right here? Rey? Ben? Both? _Neither?_
> 
> Their fighting seems kind of half-hearted at this point. Try as they might, they just can't keep those walls up...
> 
> Soon to come: angst, more angst, and nekkidness. I think it's time for Rey to experiment more with that _darkness_ , don't you?


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiiiii I'm back. 
> 
> Time to get back to our regularly scheduled (not) programming.

As Ben ran, he thought about what he’d said the night before: about going nowhere. About staying here, on the island. 

He jogged along the edge of a towering cliff, the crash of the waves below thundering in his ears. The ocean air was clean and cool on his skin, the grass soft and yielding beneath his bare feet. 

As he crested a hill, he heard the chirps of porgs before he saw them. He stopped at the top of the slope, pausing to catch his breath. The porgs picked at berry bushes and fluffed their feathers in the breeze. It seemed that they were enjoying the weather, too.

Ben scanned the craggy ridges ahead, the field of porgs, and then the ocean stretching to the calm blue horizon. He was lost for a moment within himself, forgetting all of his worries and just allowing himself to feel and _be._ He was free from his duties with the First Order, free from the war, free from the abuse and the mental probing of Snoke. 

Here, he was free. Freer than he remembered ever having felt. And, to top it off, he was with her. At least, for now. He’d had no choice but to run in an attempt to help stave off his pent-up need for _her._

Propping his hands on his hips, Ben stared resolutely out at the ocean. This wasn’t the worst place in the galaxy to live, he considered. It was isolated from society and well-hidden. It had plenty of resources, both in the way of food and building supplies. It did rain a lot, but that only made the sunnier days like today feel all the brighter. 

Not to mention, he thought, the place was...beautiful.  
….

On his way back to the hut, Ben expected to find Rey still sound asleep on the bed, and he felt a beam of warmth unfold within him at the thought of cuddling up next to her. But as he approached the site of his crashed ship, he slowed, sensing Rey nearby. He looked to his ship, realizing that she was inside of it. 

“Rey,” he called, stopping before the craft. “What are you doing in there?” 

Rey appeared through the hole in the craft’s side. Her eyes traced up and down his torso. 

“Where have you been all morning?”

Ben frowned and ignored her question. 

“Why were you in my ship?”

Rey’s eyes returned to his face. 

“I’m repairing it,” she said, wiping sweat from her brow. Ben scoffed at the confidence in her voice. 

“I told you–it’s beyond repair.”

“No, it isn’t,” Rey dissented, turning to inspect a cluster of wires sticking out of the ship’s open hull. Ben remained silent for a few moments as he watched her. “You didn’t even bother to take a look at it. Your ship is in much better condition than mine,” she added.

“Are you so eager to get out of here?” He ended up sounding plaintive, rather than derisive, and he frowned again, this time at himself. 

Rey’s hands paused on the wires. 

“You can come with me,” she said, hesitating before turning her face towards him. They stared at each other for a long, tense moment.

“Or you can stay.” 

Rey’s mouth closed, disappointment marking her features. He heard her exhale as she returned her gaze to her task. 

“I can’t stay,” she said. “I won’t.”

Ben held his ground, willing her to look at him again, but she didn’t. She appeared to be absorbed in figuring out how to reconnect the broken wires, her brows lowered in concentration. Ben swallowed and slowly, he turned to head back down the hill.

“Ben–” Rey sounded exasperated as he heard her trotting after him. “I’m hungry. We need to catch a fish. I don’t want to eat berries for breakfast.” 

“That’s what I’m doing,” Ben said over his shoulder. 

“Alright, well, I’m coming with you.”

Ben glanced down at her as she caught up to his side, mentally kicking himself as he allowed his gaze to settle a little longer on her hazel eyes than he’d meant to. 

….

“We need to enjoy the sun while it lasts,” Rey said. Rain clouds were already gathering around the edges of the island by the time they’d reached the fishing rock and thrown the net into the ocean waves.

Ben folded his arms across his bare chest, watching Rey as she closed her eyes and leaned back to bask in the rare sunlight. She wasn’t wearing her vest or armguards, just her snug cream blouse, so his covetous eyes were free to roam the curves of her form. 

Eventually, Rey straightened and opened her eyes, so Ben was forced to avert his. 

“Ben! Were you not watching the line? It’s almost over the edge!” she exclaimed, scampering over to the rock where they’d tied the end of the net’s rope. The rope was taut, and with luck it was because a fish had gotten caught in the net. 

“I wasn’t,” Ben admitted. “Wait, Rey, stop,” he urged, and she halted just before the rope to look back at him as he approached. “We have to do this together. Remember?” 

Rey nodded, staring up at him for a moment. “You’re right,” she admitted, stepping to the side. “Here, you grab this end of the rope, and I’ll grab here, and we’ll pull the net up together.”

They both strained as they pulled the line back up the face of the cliff. Ben huffed out a tired breath as the soaked net finally slid up onto the platform, but he gave it another good yank, bringing it closer for good measure; he didn’t want Rey to ever get so close to that precarious edge ever again. 

They both knelt before the net and pulled the thick ropes away, revealing several bright red fish inside. 

“Three!” Rey exalted. 

“And they’re a good size,” Ben admired, practically salivating at the sight of their next meal. “They should last us a while, even longer than the last one.”

Rey must have been as hungry as he was because she didn’t waste any time in wrestling one of the flopping fishes into her arms. She wrinkled her nose and looked up at the grey rain clouds crossing over the sun above. 

“I think I just felt a raindrop,” she said. 

“So did I,” Ben said, and almost immediately after, as if on cue, a light pattern of rain began to sprinkle on the smooth rock around them. 

Rey nodded towards the cave behind them, struggling to keep the jerking fish clasped to her chest. 

“Maybe we can light a fire in there and cook one of these.”

Ben followed behind her, one fish tail in each fist. As they entered the shelter of the cave, Ben lumped the still-moving fish in a pile on the stone floor as Rey gathered sticks from outside, drying them on her shirt, along with a few charcoal rocks. 

“Can I start it?” Ben asked as Rey assembled the sticks together on the ground. 

“Sure. Just strike these together over the sticks. Hard,” she instructed, placing two rocks into his open palm. 

Ben stiffened as her hand brushed against his, then refocused himself on the task at hand. Sparks flew from the rocks on his second try, igniting a small flicker of flame in the nest of sticks. Rey smiled. 

“And now you know how to light a fire,” she stated, tilting her head at him. “Have you seriously never had to light a fire for yourself before?”

Ben shrugged. 

“Not with rocks,” he said, tossing them to the ground. “There are tools for that sort of thing, you know.”

“I didn’t have access to fancy tools on Jakku, you know,” she mimicked, looking up at him from beneath her lashes. “We scavengers had to learn how to survive on our own.” She dropped her gaze from his and turned towards the crackling fire. “I suppose you’ll need to learn how to survive on your own here, too.”

Ben stepped towards her, speaking softly. 

“Not unless you stay.”

“Ben, don’t.”

“We would be safe here,” he intoned, stopping just behind her. Gingerly, he rose a hand to her shoulder, now bathed in the nascent glow of the flames before them. “We have everything we need here to survive: food, water, fresh air.” He traced his hand down her arm and slowly laced his fingers through hers. “A home.”

“Ben…” Rey’s voice was breathy, beseeching. 

“Rey,” Ben returned, brushing her hair from her cheek with his free hand. He leaned his face closer to hers. Rey didn’t move, so he bent his face and pressed a kiss to her jawline. “I want you,” he crooned, and he heard her soft, quivering sigh, felt her hand give his an almost imperceptible squeeze. 

His heart raced: _she wanted him, too._ It wasn’t just her sigh and the squeeze of her hand; he could sense it, burrowed within her like the growing flames before them. 

Gently, he kissed her neck, slowly making his way down to its base. He paused and, at last, Rey turned towards him, her trembling lips mere inches from his. He searched her eyes, moist and glistening in the firelight. Ben released her hand to cup her face, barely able to suppress his relieved groan as he pressed his mouth down to hers. He’d missed her soft lips and smooth skin so badly, among other things. 

As she kissed him back with overwhelming fervor, Ben dropped his hand from her cheek to wrap around her waist, pulling her closer. Rey arched into him, releasing a breathy moan that mixed with the hiss of the flames consuming its wooden fodder. Unable to control himself–and, in all honesty, not wanting to–Ben pushed her away from the fire, digging his fingers into the frustratingly tight fabric of her blouse and backing her against the cave wall.

Rey let out a needy huff of air as he broke his mouth from hers to wrench her trousers and underwear below her hips, and he dug his teeth into his lip amusedly as he felt her small hands struggling with the fastenings of his own. He pressed a deep, hungry kiss to her mouth, grasping her hands and shoving them out of the way to undo and lower his pants with efficient speed. He caught Rey’s eyes catch on his erect member before shifting back up to his eyes, peering at from beneath her lashes. 

Ben pressed forward and kissed her again, groaning into her mouth as he slid his arms around her thighs and lifted her up against the wall. Rey barely had time to wrap her legs around him when he thrust himself into her fully, a cry breaking from her lips. Ben gripped her bottom, squeezing as he began a steady, rocking pace, focusing on Rey’s pants and moans and her parted mouth. 

She was hot and tight and–beautiful. Maker, so beautiful. His head spun with pleasure and ecstatic emotion and he couldn’t get enough of it–of her. Ben barely suppressed his growl as he shifted his grip, gripping her beneath the bend of her knees and moving deeper inside of her as he attained a new angle. He sensed the heavy tension building within Rey and he squeezed her thighs, pushing the Force through his hands and up to her center. Immediately, Rey shuddered around him, letting out a cry as she came, her eyes finding his. 

As soon as she looked at him, Ben followed her crash. He moaned deeply, pressing his lips to hers as heady relief flooded him and pooled up inside of her. 

He held his lips to hers as he descended his high, heaving for breath against her mouth and feeling the dull, pulsing strain of his arms. 

Carefully, he released his hold on Rey, lowering her to her feet but never shifting his worshipping eyes from hers. He kept his hands on her arms, keeping her in place.

His mind descending from the clouds and returned to him, he huffed out an exhausted breath. 

“So?”

Rey’s expression morphed from quiet awe into puzzlement. 

“So, what?”

“Was it better for you that time?”

Rey’s mouth opened, then closed, like the still-breathing fish on the ground behind them. Her brows lowered in abrupt consternation.

“If-if you think _that’s_ how you’re going to change my mind about leaving, then–well, then–you’re wrong,” she stammered, poking an accusing finger into his chest. 

Ben mirrored her expression. 

“What? No...Rey, I didn’t...that’s not...” he struggled, equally as flustered. He hadn’t been trying to change her mind–That intention hadn’t really crossed his mind. He’d needed to express himself to her in a way that words couldn’t–at least, not yet. Surely, she knew that. Didn’t she?

Rey turned her face from his, her cheeks still red and flushed. Ben rose a hand to grip her chin, turning her face back to his and waiting to speak until she looked up at him. 

“Rey, I didn’t make love to you to try to change your mind,” he explained. “I wanted to because–because I–” Rey raised her brows expectantly as he fumbled for a moment. Again, fear got the best of him. “Because I wanted to. Okay?” He slid his hand lower down her arm, releasing his other from her chin. He took a step back from her, forcing himself to accept the situation. “I know I won’t change your mind,” he said resignedly. 

Rey stared at him quietly, her expression seeming almost solemn. 

“At least, not that way,” he added, allowing a small smirk. 

Now Rey’s brows lowered again, but he thought he saw a glimmer of playfulness in her eyes.

“I know you’re too smart for that.”

“Well,” Rey relented, taking small steps towards him. “Even if it was your intention to try and convince me to stay, I’ll have you know that it was a...valiant effort.”

“Valiant?” Ben repeated, secretly beaming. 

“Mmhm.” Rey traced her finger across his chest absentmindedly. She looked up at him, appearing to be fighting back a smile. 

Wanting to free it, Ben tucked her hair behind her ear and kissed her, filling with warmth as her fingers gripped his arms. He sighed contentedly as he felt her lips curve beneath his. He wrapped his arms around her, unable to stop kissing her, not wanting to part from this moment of soothing tenderness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren: Lightsaber extraordinaire. Feared equally on the battlefield and in space dog fights. Ruthless map-seeker. Brutal interrogator. Known punch-thrower. Jedi Killer. 
> 
> And a bit of a pussy when it comes to admitting his feelings. 
> 
> Where do you see these two going? Or staying? I have the story fully planned out now, but I'm curious to know your thoughts. Maybe one of you will guess right!
> 
> This chapter took a while to write because a plot bunny hopped into my head and I ended up writing the final chapter for this fic. But don't fret, we still have around 6 chapters until we get to the point when we must say adieu...


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